Lithium
by Rivaille
Summary: Shizuo is losing his sight, and his will to live. Perhaps the happy-go-lucky boy in the room next door, who won't stop coming to bother him, will give him meaning to life and a reason to go on? Shizaya. Blind!Shizuo/Sick!Izaya
1. Chapter One: Assured

**Lithium**

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter One

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><p>"You're lying," I snarl, angling my face to the hazy, blurred image of Shinra. The young doctor looks at me with what looks like pity in his chocolate irises.<p>

"Shizuo, I have no reason to lie to you," he tells me sadly.

I know it is the truth, but it is so hard to just lie down and accept it. I am never one to go down without a fight.

"No," I say, with a shake of my head. "You know me! You know that I don't get hurt. This is not possible!" I know I'm shouting, but I can't control myself whenever that haze of red overtakes my mind.

"Shizuo, I'm not lying," Shinra pleads with my dwindling sanity. "Your vision is slowly deteriorating; we don't know the speed that it spreads but we know the outcome."

"You don't!" I yell, gripping the white hospital sheet in my fist so tight, my hands started bleeding.

The slow spreading of the bright crimson looks like flowers blooming on white snow.

Eerily beautiful.

Yet it does nothing to console my inner rage; the pain merely fuels it.

"You're going to be blind," Shinra states without remorse. And I am appalled at how calm he sounds, with no hint of inflection in that usually cheerful voice of his.

I think I hate him.

I lunge out of the bed, intending to grab his scrawny neck and snap it. I intend to pin the blame on Shinra. I want someone other than myself to hate.

I'm pathetic. But that isn't what stops my attack; a needle in my arm jolts me out of the haze and I stare at it mutinously.

I recognize that familiar prick on my skin. It is the same kind used on out-of-control animals.

How appropriate.

I want to cut that arm off, just to stay awake.

Luckily, I am much too pathetic to do so.

Before I black out, I stare at Shinra's hazy face, meeting his remorseful expression with my own betrayed one.

How could you Shinra?

I trusted you.

You told me you'd never lie to me.

But I know I'm only lying to myself. I welcome the blackness for the first time in my life. Then, remembering that I would likely be facing it for the rest of my life, I fight it.

I don't like fighting.

But I hate losing much more.

* * *

><p>For the next week, I live like a zombie.<p>

Doctors that come in to give me my medication are not met with resistance or glares; merely passive indifference to any treatment I receive.

I know I said I'm a fighter, but I never fight losing battles.

I've never _fought_ a losing battle.

With strength like mine, one doesn't know the concept of losing when there is no possible chance of it. They say I'm still in denial, and who's to say I'm not? But when I glance out my window and stare at the rays of light, I want to cry when I realize they will never reach me again.

That my failing eyes will never accept any more light and I will be forever sucked into darkness.

Another thing that my strength has never allowed me was fear.

I'm not being vain. I am merely stating the facts that have been branded into my existence. I have never met an enemy that could overpower me and anything that is considered 'frightening' in the slightest to the average person doesn't scare me, for all I have to do is think about how I could destroy it and that would be that.

But this case is different; it scares me so, so bad.

Because this time, my enemy is invisible and intangible. It isn't something my hands could slowly choke the life out of. It isn't something I could throw far, far away so that by the time it finds me again, I am already at my deathbed.

How cruel this life is.

Here I am, with all the strength in the world, and in waltzes an illness.

That's all it takes for me to become powerless.

So with these thoughts, I give up. I throw down my hand of cards. I raise my white flag.

Nothing I do will change anything anymore, so why bother? Nobody can save me, and I can't save myself.

I will let this darkness eat me until all that's left is a shell of who I was. When it comes to darkness, it is so much easier to just succumb to its wishes than to fight with the intangible substance.

When I think about it, my life has been a meaningless cycle of blood and violence. So really, there has been no reason to fight to begin with.

So with these thoughts, I once again let that dark wave swoop me in its arms. I don't hate the fact that I'm powerless anymore.

At least now, I feel like a proper human.

And that is how I became; a shell. For the next month, I am nothing but an empty hole that has no end. No matter who comes to talk to me, this is how I am.

This is Heiwajima Shizuo giving up.

* * *

><p>It's been a month already, and when I open my eyes, I am still lying in that despicable hospital bed.<p>

But this time, there is a new face hovering over me and I could just make out the delicate features, dark hair and those shocking red eyes.

"Oh, you're awake!" the boy crows, giving me a once over with those strange irises. He acts like he's supposed to be there. I don't reply, but merely keep my fuzzy gaze locked with his as I sit up.

At least, I think they're locked with his…

It is strangely disconcerting how the raven-haired boy never wavers his smile, even when I don't return it in the slightest.

"Who are you?" I ask without pretense. The boy remains unfazed.

His grin actually spreads wider across those pale features. It's kind of attractive…

What the hell am I thinking?

The boy backs up a bit and gives a haughty smirk. "Orihara Izaya," then he does a sweeping bow which looks so out of place when he's wearing those flimsy hospital gowns. He looks like the type to be wearing expensive designer clothing to match his aristocratic features. "It's a pleasure."

"Right…" I say, reaching over to the bedside table. Where the fuck are my cigarettes? "What—?" My hands are fumbling around the table desperately. Are they actually there, but I am unable to see them?

I hear a snicker come from this "Izaya's" side of the room. "Looking for this?"

I turn to squint over at him. In his thin fingers, he's holding what I'm guessing are my packet of cancer sticks. He shakes the box slowly and mockingly.

I growl. "Hand those over, louse."

"Uh, uh, uh!" The annoying boy sings, clasping his hands behind his back. My shadowy room makes his ruby irises seem like they're glowing.

Or it could be my eyes playing tricks on me again; they've been doing that for a while.

"Manners, Shizu-chan!" He skips around my room, looking at one with the dark colors in my prison that make his skin look even paler.

I narrow my eyes at him, though it pains me to do so. "Just give me the fucking cigarettes! Who the fuck do you think you are?" I'm cranky when I don't get my nicotine, but I'm usually not this bad. Something about Izaya just irks me.

Any regular person would be scared shitless of me and my notorious ill-temperament by now, but Izaya acts like I am only scolding him like a mother would. He giggles and does a twirl.

"And how do you know my name anyways?"

His giggles grow a tad bit more crazed. "I have my ways," he says. Then he lifts my pack of addiction to his face and stares at it with an extremely thoughtful expression. I feel that red-hot anger coil in the pits of my stomach.

Then abruptly, it's gone. I sink back down in my mattress. What's the point anyways? My whole life, all I have been doing is fighting. I'm so tired, and I just want to disappear already. But Izaya isn't finished yet, for he slinks carefully to my side. He doesn't say a word, and just stares at my passive face. For some reason, it seems to piss him off.

He just stands and stares at me with those fierce eyes.

Sick of it, I reluctantly ask, "Why are you in my room?"

Looking slightly appeased, he prances over to my window. He doesn't reply.

Then abruptly, he throws the window open.

A huge gust of wind plows into the room, the cold air chilling my skin and throwing my blankets into a state of chaos. The smile on his face looks like one of a desperate, drowning man clinging to hope. He basks in the glow of the full moon out tonight and stares at the glittering stars. The wind ruffles his hair wildly; without restraint.

I will forever have the image branded in my brain, even when my eyes can no longer see it.

I have been cataloguing every beautiful image in my head for my dreadful future.

The chilling air feels surprisingly good against my tender skin and I close my eyes and mouth in bliss. I swallow my original protest against his rash decision. Izaya turns back to glance at me, his original smirk back in place and clasps his hands behind his back again. I don't even care that he has my cigarettes anymore.

Nothing matters.

Just the feeling of the clean, crisp air wipes away my inhibitions and I feel refreshed. How could this stranger do this for me? I resist the urge to rub at my eyes to rid it of the cloudy substance that hinders my vision of this beautiful sight.

It wouldn't help. It would only make it worse.

"It's too stuffy in here," he explains, and I completely agree. But he still hasn't answered my question, so I repeat it. He looks amused.

"I was bored."

I purse my lips slightly, unsatisfied. I hardly believe he came into my room out of pure boredom but I don't call him out on it.

I don't bother covering up my shivering body from the chills but instead, I embrace the cold. I feel more alive than I ever have. Just from the small act of opening a window. I hadn't realized when I had become so far gone. Izaya moves back to the door of my room with that carefree gait of his and I realize how skinny he is. The hospital garbs hang off of him frighteningly.

It finally occurs to me that he's sick or injured, if he's in this hospital. I can be kind of slow on the uptake, I admit.

"Goodnight, Shizu-chan," he sings, giving another mocking bow. I sigh, running a hand through my hair.

"It's Shizuo," I correct, though he's already gone. I don't stop the smile from creeping over my lips. What a strange kid…

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: **{**Thia**}: **Thanks for reading! Please review! Tell me whether I should continue or not ~ hehe!


	2. Chapter Two: Weakened

**A/N  
><strong>**{Thia} **Hello everyone! *waves* I'm glad you liked chapter one! And well, I have to say this chapter was a bit of a let down for me... I don't like it so much, but bear with me please? It will get better, I promise!  
>*shakes pinkies with random person*<br>Now ... please don't give up on me!

**{Disclaimer} Durarara! does not belong to Forsythia Sky, nor does any of the characters. (Unfortunately) **

* * *

><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Two

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><p>I wake in the morning with a sharp pain in my irises. I turn my head to locate the culprit and I see the fluttering drapes over the window. The sun hangs in the sky taunting me with its light. Like it knows I will never reach it.<p>

Oh, right…

I recall everything that happened and a smile twists my lips again. The breeze isn't as cool now that it's morning, but nevertheless, it feels so good after a month of being cooped up inside.

I hear my door opening and I murmur under my breath, "'Morning, Celty."

Celty comes in every morning to deliver my meds on behalf of Shinra. She's the closest thing to a friend I have at this dreary hospital. The doctors keep me in a ward far away from other patients in case I lose it.

_'It' _being my temper.

**[**Good morning, Shizuo**.]** Celty types on her phone. I turn to scrutinize her face like I do with everyone these days, memorizing the details. I know with time, I may forget what everyone looks like, so I'm doing everything I can to prevent that.

She smiles knowingly at me, her auburn hair fluttering a little in the breeze from the window. **[**You look better today**]** she observes.

Do I? I don't feel particularly better… Nor could I see any better.

Maybe it's the sun basking into the room. I've had the drapes closed for the past month. "I guess so," I concede. She hands me my pills and I swallow them without a glance. I don't even need water to wash them down anymore.

Celty waves a hand in front of my face to call my attention and brings two fingers to her mouth; miming a smoking motion and I can't help but chuckle.

"Hey, Celty, you know most of the patients around here right?"

A curious expression steals over her features and she nods.

**[**?**]**

"Who is Orihara Izaya?"

Celty's phone slips from her fingers and she fumbles a bit to keep it in her hands. I raise my eyebrow questioningly.

**[**I do know Izaya… But Shizuo, why are you asking?**]**

I scowl and cross my arms. "He took my cigarettes."

Celty fights to gain her composure back and I bite my lip. Why did his name cause such distress? She is saved from having to say anything by Shinra who comes sauntering into the room with a clipboard and pen in hand. He waves callously at me. "Mornin'!"

I hate how cheerful he sounds. So, I settle for glaring at my hands instead of doing things the polite way and greeting him back.

"How are you feeling today?" he asks, just for procedure. I feel that question is completely unnecessary as I am not sick. He should be asking my eyes how they're feeling.

But I know he isn't asking me how I'm feeling health-wise. He's asking about my mood.

I suppose I could humor him today.

"Grand," I drawl, doing my daily face-scrutiny. Brown hair, check. Glasses, check. Annoying-ass smile, check.

On second thought, maybe I should just forget what he looks like.

Shinra chooses this moment to come closer and give Celty a kiss. I wish they wouldn't do that in front of me.

"That's good to hear," he says to me. He takes out a little flash-light kind of device from his pocket and holds my right eye open as he shines it into my pupil.

I really, really, hate how he's forcing a smile for my benefit.

I already know it's getting worse. I don't need to be reminded daily. Shinra continues his examination to my left eye and I let my thoughts drift. I don't care what he's doing, really. He could jab one of those stupid needles in my eye and I wouldn't feel it.

Then, all of a sudden I snap back into focus as a parade of nurses and doctors barrel down the hallway. When I squint, I could make out a gurney that was wheeled along with them. I hear their curses and shouts at each other in a big jumble of messed up panic. Shinra and Celty are at the door in an instant. Shinra is contributing his own shouts to the noise. "Where the hell did he get it from this time? Didn't any of you see him leave his room last night?"

My blood runs cold.

It couldn't be _him_, right? There were so many patients in this hospital, there was no way…

I faintly see Celty's fingers clench and unclench around her sleek, black phone. Shinra is already out the door, dashing after the hectic doctors.

_"Oh no, not again…"_

_"And he was getting so much better…"_

_"Why didn't anyone see…?"_

Then the voices trail off as they ran out of earshot. Celty turns to glance at me; something shiny in her eyes. I think they might be tears. But then she, too, streaks down the hallway after Shinra. I am left alone in my now vacated room. The breeze suddenly feels too cold and I move to shut the window.

I pull the drapes closed too. The light is too bright.

I slip on my sunglasses and stalk out the door for the first time in months.

* * *

><p>As the voices grow louder, I know I'm going the right direction. I edge closer to the group of doctors and lean against a wall to listen. I try to look as nonchalant as possible in my hospital garbs.<p>

I wish I have my fucking cigarettes.

Fucking Izaya…

As I lean closer to take a peek, a tap on my shoulder sends me reeling and I have my hands up in surrender.

"Easy, easy," a very familiar voice amends. "It's just us."

I turn reluctantly and am shocked to face two very familiar faces. Though they are blurry like a fogged glass, they are still recognizable.

"Kida and Mikado," I say, nodding.

Both boys nod back. I notice Kida's normally relaxed face is tense and Mikado just looks like a frightened rabbit. Hopefully not because of me.

I can barely see them, let alone kill them.

That's a lie. I don't need to see to be able to kill them, but that's beside the point.

"Heiwajima Shizuo," Kida says with a half-hearted smile. Then he notices what I'm wearing and a look akin to shock crosses over his features. "I heard you've been missing for a while, but this is where you've been?"

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I really don't have much to say to that.

I can't say I know these boys well; I've only met them once or twice. I nod once again, not really up for much chit-chat.

"W-What's going on over there?" Mikado asks with a head gesture, his thin fingers clinging to Kida's sleeve.

My fingers itch for a cigarette and I'm about to have a nicotine fit. When I get my hands on Izaya…

"'Dunno," I say nonchalantly, though in reality, I'm dying to find out. "Why are you two here?"

"Visiting a friend," Kida replies absently. There's a crease between his eyebrows. "That doesn't look to good… I wonder what happened this time."

They are both looking around the corner now, and I decide to peer around too. I see Shinra talking to Celty agitatedly, running a hand through his mousy hair every few seconds. His hand gestures are going crazy and even from here I can tell Celty is still shaking.

"Celty!" Mikado waves animatedly.

Both figures turn towards us and I curse under my breath. I really hadn't anticipated that… As they both come walking towards us, I try to make my escape.

"Is that Shizuo I see?" Shinra asks coyly when he's close enough to be in earshot. Though his eyes betray his anxiety as they keep darting back to the emergency room.

I really, really hate him!

Mikado turns to me with a strange expression and I realize that I said that out loud.

Woops.

Actually, I really don't care.

Celty flips out her phone when she stops in front of us. **[**Mikado, Kida, you're here again**]**

Her eyes still look wet from tears.

Mikado hovers over her anxiously. "What's happening over there?"

Shinra and Celty exchange loaded glances.

After a long silence, the couple appears to have come to an agreement and Shinra grabs the two boys to haul them off to talk. Celty stays with me and wipes at her eyes.

"You okay?"

**[**Yes, I'm… fine.**]**

There is an awkward pause.

I'm not the best with words, but I feel I should say more. I owe it to her to do so. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask gruffly.

She glances at me in surprise. Then her lips melt into a smile and I am glad I asked.

**[**It's alright. Thanks for asking, Shizuo.**]** She pauses for a moment, giving me an odd look. **[**What are you doing here anyways? I didn't know you that you knew Kida and Mikado.**]**

I ponder what I should tell her. That I was curious about the injured boy? That I was looking for something to do? I settle with the same excuse Izaya gave me last night and it earns me an even stranger look from the mute girl. "And I don't know them, really…" I end my excuse pathetically, "I just ran into them when I was, uh, taking my walk."

I'm a horrible liar, I know. Celty and I exchange more pleasantries before I head back to my 'cell'. My mind couldn't focus on our conversation at all. It kept straying back to a certain raven-haired boy with red eyes. Celty could tell when I started drifting and she let me do it in peace. That's one of the things I like most about her.

When I get back, I lie down and stare at the ceiling for what feels like hours. Vaguely, I'm wondering whether Izaya would show up again tonight.

Vaguely, I hope that he would.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** **{**Thia**}: **Yes, that was a very, very, very, slight instance of KidaMika. Review please! Btw… how do you guys feel about character death? :/


	3. Chapter Three: Blurred

**Lithium **

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Three

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><p>I get up slowly from my bed, straining to find my way through the dark. It's midnight, but there is still no sign of any overly-cheerful teens in my room.<p>

I don't deny that I'm a little disappointed.

From just one visit, Izaya brought something to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I felt… invigorated. I shuffle to my window and stare at the drapes for a few minutes. They're a sterile, snow-white color like the rest of my pristine room. I fling them aside and move forward to prop my elbows on the ledge and stare outside.

Realizing what I need, I slowly push the panes outwards. I'm careful not to use too much strength.

The moon isn't out tonight. The dark, fluffy substances in the sky shield her from prying eyes. The cool wind washes over me and a single green blur lands next to my arm. My fingers trail over the outline, and I realize it's a leaf.

A single, green piece in the midst of endless white.

As another gust whips my hair around my head in a wild, golden crown, I smile remorsefully.

It's not the same.

There's nothing holding me down and I feel lost.

I feel weak.

Hah, Heiwajima Shizuo… weak.

What has become of this world?

A stronger gust shifts the clouds in the sky ever so slightly, but enough for the moon to peek out. I can still see it.

"What's it like, only being seen at night and forgotten in the mornings?" I ask her, my eyes remaining shut. The sharp air stung at my eyes and caused tears to prick at the edges.

The moon doesn't reply, obviously, but the clouds move again to uncover her a little more. Then, I'm struck again by a sick thought. "It'll always be night for me soon," I say. "Maybe you'll keep me company."

What a pathetic sight. A visually-impaired man talking to the moon in the middle of the night.

Sickened, I pull the drapes over the open window. I can't bring myself to shut out the world just yet, so I leave the window open. I fall asleep soon after and I'm consumed by nightmares of screams and sounds of death.

There were no images to accompany them.

* * *

><p>Prod. Prod.<p>

I grunt, shifting to my side.

Prod, prod, prod.

The annoying sensation on my shoulder is relentless and I reluctantly pry open my dimming eyes. "I'm awake, I'm awake…" I mutter.

A blurry Celty brings her phone to my face. **[**Good morning, sleepyhead.**]** She sends me a bright smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Morning," I groan, sitting up. I stretch until my joints give a small 'pop' and sighed in satisfaction.

Celty hands me my pills along with a tray of food. As she settles it on my lap, she taps at the keys again.

**[**Make sure you take the pills before you eat.**]**

Then she dashes to the door, apparently in a great hurry.

Before she's out of earshot, I call, "Where are you going?"

Hesitating, she pulls out her phone again. She lifts her message in the air, but realizing that I can't make out the small characters, she walks meekly to my side.

I'm depressed when I realize that I will no longer be able to communicate with Celty in the future.

**[**The patients need me.**]** The bright screen causes my eyes to water terribly.

Ugh.

"The one from yesterday?" I ask, brushing a stray tear off.

Celty's body language becomes uncomfortable; her fingers typing keep jerking on the wrong keys and a frown line creeps in between her eyebrows. It took her longer than usual to send her message.

**[**Yes.**]**

That's all she typed after all that? I reach out to grip the phone in my hand so I can scrutinize the screen. Is there a hidden message somewhere? I look up to meet Celty's gaze with my questioning one and she practically yanks the phone out of my hand as she makes a hasty retreat.

She waves nervously and sprints out of the room.

What the hell…

I purse my lips at the tray in front of me and slowly pick up my prescription. I feel the sudden urge to go out again today.

I finish my meal quickly so I can get out of my prison as soon as possible.

* * *

><p>"Shizuo?" Shinra pokes his head into my room and stares at me getting dressed. "Where are you going?" he asks, surprised.<p>

"…Out," I reply, reaching into my pocket for the cigarettes that I no longer have. I curse and settle for fidgeting with the hem of my bartender outfit. It feels weird being in regular clothes after so long.

"You can't just leave…!" Shinra panics, twitching into the room and ushering me back to the bed. I let him, wincing as a sharp pain lances through my right eye.

Shit! I groan, covering it with my hand. "Shizuo, what's happening?" Shinra is hovering over me like an anxious mother, his hands flapping around my shoulder and head; never actually touching.

The pain becomes excruciating and I lift my hand off my eye just for a moment when I feel wetness seep into my nails and drip down the length of my palm.

Shit… no, no, no!

Bright, carmine tears are leaking out of my right eye incessantly, coating that half of my face. My right eye falters and I gasp. Shinra panics and runs out to grab his equipment. I'm waiting for my own panic and fear but it doesn't come.

All I feel is a small acceptance. Something like this was bound to happen eventually.

Part of me knows it's wrong to think this way, but I don't care. I stare at my bloody hand passively, letting the liquid drip down my white collared sleeve. I taste the copper on my lips without flinching.

I keep my right eye closed, but they feel full and brimming so I'm forced to open them again. I don't really see Shinra enter the room, for the door is to my right.

My blind side.

I suppose I should be glad it's not happening to both eyes (yet).

Small mercies.

Shinra doesn't say a word as he carefully dabs at my eye with a solemn expression on his childish face. It makes him look his age.

"Does it hurt?" he asks, beginning to wrap the gauze around my head sideways so that it leaves my left eye free from the bindings.

I shake my head, with a muted 'no'. It doesn't anymore. All I feel is a strange numbness.

I can't even tell whether it's the gauze that's hindering my sight. Even without it, I doubt that I will be able to see out of that eye anymore.

And once again, I wait for any sense of grief or just any reaction from me.

Nothing.

The young doctor starts wiping at my face and hands, remaining silent. I don't understand the sadness in his chocolate eyes. Hadn't he said that this was predicted?

When I'm clean, except for the blood in my nails that he ignored or overlooked, Shinra sits and stares at me for a few minutes.

Tick, tick… "Shinra," I say tiredly. I'm not in the mood for games.

"Do you need the painkillers?" he asks instead, adjusting his glasses.

I quickly shake my head as a negative. Their painkillers barely do a thing for me anyways. Despite this… problem, I'm still as strong as I ever was.

"Shinra…" I whisper, my voice hoarse. "Could you open the window?"

I don't remember closing them, so a nurse must have come in and shut it while I was sleeping. Shinra's face is unreadable as he goes to do as I say.

As soon as the now-familiar breeze hits me, I sigh. It doesn't grant me as much relief from myself as I'd hoped it would.

"Take it easy, Shizuo. Your body needs as much rest as it can get. Over-exerting yourself might make the, uh, _process_ go faster."

I nod curtly though I have no intention of doing so, efficiently ending the minuscule conversation. Shinra knows me well enough that he goes to the door without further prompt. However, he pauses, keeping a white-knuckled grip on the frame. "Do you need anything else?" he asks.

No matter how many times I say I hate him, I don't think I ever meant it.

Not once. Shinra is a good friend, though somewhat sadistic, and I treasure anyone who is brave enough to be close to someone like me. "I'm fine," I say, even though it's obvious to both of us that I'm not.

I wonder if the blood has seeped through the thick bandages yet.

Shinra nods before scurrying out of the room. I wait around ten minutes to make sure no one is coming back to give me a surprise and then make my way down to the lobby. Not even being half blind will stop me from doing as I please.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, that's classified information, sir."<p>

I scratch at my blond hair irritably. "Haa?" My fingers twitch and clench, imagining that they're wrapped around the perky receptionist's throat. "You've already said that five times. All I've asked for is his room number!"

"I'm sorry, that's classified information, sir."

This woman will be lucky to live through the next five minutes, I swear it.

"It's just a goddamn room number!" I shout, causing all the people waiting to stare at me with wide eyes. I hear my name whispered among the crowd and I suddenly regret coming out in my regular outfit. "Why the fuck is a room number," I make air quotations with my fingers, "classified information?"

Before the annoying, grey-haired lady has a chance to give me another bull-shit reply, I hear my name again, this time coming from right behind me. "Shizuo?"

I turn around and immediately my anger pacifies.

"Tom? That you?"

Tanaka Tom nods and frowns at the sight of my bandages. He motions with his head that I join him over at the small coffee shop a little ways down the building.

We walk together quietly, just like how we do when we're collecting a debt. It's a little nostalgic.

As we're seated, Tom takes his time ordering a coffee for both of us and a donut for himself.

"How have you been doing?"

I look at his blurry image skeptically. "I've been better," I say. It's quite obvious.

I think he gives me a soft smile, but I'm not sure.

"Collecting just isn't the same without you."

There's a pause, and then we both burst out laughing. Me, laughing to hide my depression and Tom… I think he actually thought it was funny.

A waiter, that appears to be blond, stops at our table to drop off the drinks. Then she sashays off and I notice Tom ogling her before returning his gaze to me.

We sip the beverage in silence for a bit.

"What happened?" Tom asks finally.

I know he means the fresh bandages that are still plastered around my head. I swallow my mouthful of caffeine before replying. "I don't even know," I lean forward to rest my forehead on my palm. The brown liquid sloshes a little as I jostle the unstable table.

Hah, unstable table…

What the hell is wrong with me?

Tom sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I wasn't kidding when I said collecting isn't the same without you."

"I know."

"You have no idea how much shit they give me."

"I think I have a slight idea," I drawl, amused.

Tom downs the rest of the coffee in one large gulp. "Yeah, I guess you do."

I lean back in my chair to face the ceiling.

"Is it true?" my ex-boss asks.

"What is?"

"That you're," he coughs into his hand, "going blind."

My lips quirk upwards in a rueful smile. I sit up properly again to meet his gaze. My previously bloody hand gestures at my bandaged eye. "It's already happening," I tell him without remorse. "Soon, the other one will be gone too."

"Ah," Tom says weakly. I grunt in what is neither an assent nor denial.

Suddenly, pain lances through my eye and I pant, clutching it in desperation. "Ugh…!" I double over, nearly hitting my forehead on the table. Tom is standing up now, scanning me with a worried expression.

When I glance up at him, I groan when I see double.

"Shizuo?" he goes around the table to my side. I wave him off feebly as the pain starts to subside.

"Mm… fine," "I grumble, touching both sides of my face to check for any signs of blood.

My hands come up clean and I'm momentarily relieved.

I slump in my seat, defeated.

Tom grips my shoulder in one hand as he speaks, "What just happened?"

I'm beginning to think this will be a regular thing, so I tell him that. He looks nonplussed at my vague answer.

"I'll help you to your room," he offers, guiding his other hand to my elbow.

I'm annoyed. I hate how he's treating me like a fragile old woman; I'm Heiwajima Shizuo for fucks sake!

I shake my head at him firmly. "I gotta… find someone first." But then I remember the stubborn receptionist and I scowl. I stand up slowly, making sure my legs remain steady, and I stalk back over to her desk with Tom at my heels.

"Shizuo, I don't think—!"

The old hag looks up irritably as we approach.

"Give me Orihara Izaya's room number. Now."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hmm… :D What do you think? Review please? **

**{Disclaimer} Durarara! does not belong to Forsythia Sky. No profits were made from this.**


	4. Chapter Four: Dulled

**A/N: **Hello… *shy* I'm guessing most people on this site are shy too? Is that why you guys alert and fave but don't review? Anyways, I've been having writers block. Well not exactly a block, but I'm still deciding on a few things and I'm trying to be careful I don't give things away or mess up on a plot point. Ugh! There's like a 60% chance that I will have to change some stuff. Especially this chapter… well anyways, here is Chapter Four… Oh but first, I decided it would be polite if I respond to the reviews. It seems people don't check inboxes often so I will respond here instead! Oh yeah before that, I forgot to mention that I'm currently in exam week. High school's a bitch. Updates will be slower, sorry!

**NobodyXII: **Aw you're so sweet! Your review made me smile, for reals! Hehe, I'm so glad you enjoy my story so far! Hope I don't end up disappointing. As for what's wrong with Izaya… I'm not giving any hints!

**Ravenwood316: **Here's an update! Lol

**Artemis602: **I hope I continue it too! Haha~

**Differenciation: **Your name is cool. And what are you wondering about? I hope it hasn't been too confusing so far.

**Roanna: **I'm pretty iffy on it myself. Thanks!

**PsychedelicEVO: **Mwaaahhh! *giggles*

**Kurosendo: **Why thank you! Here is another chapter!

**Nightowl572: **Already sad eh? I was hoping to make a few people cry in the near future. *evil laughter* And I have a perfectly good idea what it's like being blind, though I'm not going to say how ^^ Ah Izaya is such a mystery, hm? Yeah since this is an AU, Celty has a HEAD! HOLY SHIT… But in case people didn't get that, I made her mute, so it's almost like she doesn't have a head right?

**shizayalover: **Yes, poor Shizuo. The Izaya mystery strikes again! Yikes. I'm actually a little surprised people haven't figured it out yet ^^

**Momo: **Thank you. Wow here's one pro-character death reader. I'm still undecisive on that though, but thanks for your input. ;) Ehhhh Izaya's mysterious condition xD hmmmm. And your English is fine.

**Thanks to those who reviewed! (And the ones who faved and alerted. Much appreciation~) **

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Four

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><p>I hum to myself contentedly as I saunter down the hall to my ward. I chuckle when I recall the look on the annoying receptionist's face when I picked up the nearest vending machine to threaten her. Even with one eye, I'm still the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro.<p>

Tom, used to my exciting, anger-filled outbursts didn't even flinch when I stomped past him, vending machine hefted over my shoulder. He merely watched me with his calm, storm-colored eyes and a cigarette between his lips.

Speaking of cigarettes, I took Tom's entire pack when I noticed him taking one out. He didn't question it. The nicotine soothed my systems and I savored the taste and feel of my addiction.

The receptionist, whose name I finally found out was Betty, cowered when I stood over her with my lethal weapon.

"O-one sec, s-s-sir!" she squeaked, typing into the computer with shaky fingers.

"Annoying, annoying, annoying…" I chanted to myself. The huge appliance I was holding didn't even make me break a sweat. My foot was tapping a mile a minute in impatience and the woman looked frazzled.

She sighed in relief as the appropriate page loads up. "R-room 412! P-Please put t-that down, s-sir!"

Without a word of gratitude, I marched back over to set the vending machine back upright, ignoring all the frightened looks and whispers that were sent my way.

Who knew the damn flea was in the room next to mine?

* * *

><p>The rooms in my ward are placed far apart, designated for the more troublesome patients who need isolation. I try not to feel insulted that I fit into that category. It isn't too much of a surprise that I didn't know Izaya was in the room right next to me.<p>

Room 416 is 'right next to mine', and yet it's all the way down the hall.

I take another drag of my cigarette as I near the room. I hear a voice coming from the closed door and I pause, listening.

"..at were you thinking…?"

Isn't that Shinra's voice? I look into the small, glass bar of a window on the door and I see the back of Shinra's brown hair and doctor's coat.

The glass is too small for me to make out anything else so I opt to lean back against the wall. A puff of silvery smoke escapes my lips. The nicotine rushes to clear my head and soothes all of my excess anger.

After a few more minutes of waiting, I get impatient again. I whip around to glare into the glass only to run head-first into Shinra.

"Wha— …Ow!" Shinra looks me over, eyes lingering on my bandages. "Shizuo?"

"Hey," I say weakly.

He adjusts his glasses, I suspect to feel more professional. "I thought I told you to take a break?"

"Yeah… I suppose you did."

He sighs, slipping around me. "Then what are you doing here?" His arms are crossed and fingers tapping incessantly.

"Just… walking."

Yet again, I am reminded of my bad lying skills.

"Walking," Shinra repeats dubiously. I give a stubborn nod and pinch my beloved cigarette between my fingers. "Right, well, I have some patients to look after. Take it easy, will you?"

"Yeah, yeah," I dismiss him with two brisk waves of my hand and he gives a very Shinra-esque smile. Then he adjusts his glasses again before practically skipping, yes skipping, down the hall.

Yes, Shinra, that makes you look so professional.

What an idiot. I roll my left eye and flinch when my right tries to move along with it.

I open the door to Izaya's room quietly; glancing back to make sure Shinra isn't hiding behind a wall or something. I wouldn't put it past him.

I slip inside and shut the door behind me quietly. When I turn around, I'm unprepared for the sight I see.

I expected Izaya to be lounging about, doing whatever annoying brats like him would be doing.

Annoying brats are not supposed to lie there, looking dead to the world. With about a hundred machines hooked up to his thin body.

"…Izaya?" I whisper, as if too much noise would really wake him up. I move to his side and stare down at his blurry form. His pale skin looks paler that I remember and his breathing ragged and shallow.

It was him after all, then.

The harried group of doctors dashing down the hallway, pushing along a gurney.

Of course.

I pull up a chair and sit down, my eye lingering around Izaya's prone form. I commit his image to my memory; his inky black hair spilled across the bright white pillow, his fair skin and sharp features peaceful in sleep. I wish his eyes would open, for I longed to see if they are red like I remember.

He remains motionless. The rays from the sun that spill through the window cast darkened shadows over half his body. He looks evil, yet pure and serene at the same time.

How can that be possible?

The steady thrumming of the machinery is the only noise in the bland room. I lean back to count the specks of dirt on the ceiling after crushing my cigarette beneath my foot.

One… two…

Well that was a good waste of two seconds.

I straighten up so I can glare at Izaya, hoping that he would wake up if he felt my murderous aura.

Obviously, it didn't work. So, I lean in close to his face so that I can see him clearly.

"Oi, pest. Wake up."

That's when the door flings open with a loud 'bang'. "Iza—! …Heiwajima Shizuo?"

I curse my luck and pull out another cigarette, prepared to light it.

"Hey, no smoking in this room," the voice sings. I turn around slowly, cigarette still hanging between my lips.

"Masaomi Kida?"

"The one and only," Kida grins.

I glance at his face, then at Izaya's still form. I put the two together. "You're here for," I point at the raven on the bed, "him?"

Kida nods, his face turning solemn. His foots steps patter lightly on the floor as he prances over, fingers clasped behind his back. His ear cuff glints as it catches a ray of sun. The shadows keep his face hidden as he observes the still sleeping boy on the bed. His hair looks more brown than blond in the dark.

"Do you know what happened?"

Kida looks up at me, hesitation clear on his face before giving a cheeky smile. "I think you should ask him yourself," he chirps, reaching out to ruffle Izaya's dark hair. "Sleeping beauty should wake up soon! I have a lot to tell you!"

I suddenly felt like a very awkward intruder. I cough into my fist as subtly as possible, wishing I could light that cigarette. I'm a bit disappointed that I would be left in the dark until the pest wakes up, but I suppose what he said makes sense. I wouldn't want someone else to tell him about my condition either.

But I have a feeling that he already knows.

"Later!" Kida's at the door waving. I hadn't even noticed him move away from his spot beside the bed.

"Already?" I ask, perplexed.

The blond gives a carefree laugh and did a strange pose that I can't explain. "I have some ladies to meet~!" Then he winks at me before spinning around. He's gone before I can blink. I'm left alone in the room with nothing but Izaya's labored breathing and the beeping of the machines that are most likely sustaining his life.

* * *

><p>I get up with a stretch and a wide yawn. Kida had left an hour ago and it still doesn't seem like the pest is going to wake up anytime soon, so I start a slow trudge back to my room. The hallway looks empty and bare, the walls a musty yellow color. They must have been white once.<p>

When I'm back in my prison, I head straight for the bathroom and change. I notice the slight rusty color of my sleeves and scowl. I'd forgotten about those stains. I toss my outfit into the wash bin, hoping that they could still be saved, and turn to the mirror.

As I predicted, the bandages are a faint pink color in the center. Slowly, I unwind them from around my head and shake out my hair a little. The pressure had left a crease in my bangs. Dropping the mess of white strips into the trash, I turn back to the sink.

I am unprepared for the sight I see in the mirror.

My eye lids and my cheeks are coated with the rusty liquid, and that's no surprise to me. But my iris is no longer the color of melted amber.

It has become a pale blue color, so pale; it could be mistaken for white. My pupil stands out startlingly and the whites that surround my iris are… well, no longer white. They're darkening, signaling the decay of my eyeball. Soon, I'm guessing it will turn black. My eye will look like it was taken a picture of with negative effects.

As predicted, I can no longer see out of that eye.

I lean closer to the mirror to examine my left. The amber color looks dull and flat. I don't think that one has much longer either.

Shaking off my depressing thoughts, I lean down and wash my face of any lingering traces of my earlier dilemma.

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><p><strong>AN: **Sorry for the short chapter! I have no proper excuse as to why. And I haven't proof read it either. Shame on me.

Review please! Thankyou very much.


	5. Chapter Five: Captured

**A/N: **One more exam to go and I'm free! *Has a dance party alone in room* God I'm such a loser… Well anyways, here's chapter five! :D MRS. FIELDS COOKIES ARE THE BEST. I literally sat in front of this word document for 10 minutes without writing anything. Just sitting here, staring at the screen… Writers block is the shit.  
>(Friend: Why are you so weird?<br>Me: Because um… it's over 9000!  
>Friend: *Doesn't get it*)<br>Oh. Here's a question for your guys. Do you think I should include lemon? I'm not so sure, cause it might take away from the plot… or idk, make it better? Tell me what you think! And anyways, I'd have to change the rating. Not that it really matters to me, so it's all up to you guys.

**{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to Forsythia Sky. She only owns this story idea. If I owned it, Iza-chan and Shizu-chan would have smex in every episode.  
><strong>**Now you all want me to own it! Haha!  
><strong>**Before we start, a few replies: **

**Maru de Kusanagi: **I'm so glad you enjoy it! Here's an update!

**Ravenwood316: **LMAO! His eye exploded, haha why didn't I think of that. People! Stop being shy, goddamit! And here's the update. Teehee.

**ScreamingPancake: **Yay! At first, I forgot to enable the anons. I'm such a dumbdumb! I missed out on wonderful reviews like the ones from you~ You really made me smile! I'm so, so, so flattered by your praise and I hope I don't disappoint you. And thanks for the luck, I'll really need it. XD That's two people for pro-character death. :D I think I'm on that side too. Are you on pro-lemon as well?

**ressurection: **Sad- yet beautiful works for me! Thanks!

**LennaTheWolf: **Eek! Really? 4 am! For my story! *faints from the over-praising~ *wakes up* A million faves? *faints again* Thank you so much, oh kind reviewer!

And with that, let's begin?

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Five

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><p>For the past week, I've done nothing but sit in my room, mope and occasionally sit next to the Orihara brat's bed.<p>

He still hasn't woken up yet.

Today marks my two month stay at this hospital. Shinra came into my room this morning, without the presence of his other half (a.k.a. Celty) and he flinched at the sight of my face.

He isn't subtle in the slightest.

I haven't looked in the mirror at all since that day. I can't bear to see myself look more like a freak day by day. Thanks to Shinra, I'm painfully reminded of my issues though.

"How are you feeling?" he had asked like he normally does. I had responded with an icy, one-eyed glare and a dry, "Pissed."

"R-Really?" the dorky doctor had asked, scratching the back of his head and just basically twitching all over. "What happened?"

'You', I wanted to say. But I didn't, because remember? I don't hate him.

I don't.

I end up waiting too long thinking up a decent reply and it ends up being too awkward to actually say anything anymore. Shinra shines his pocket light into my eye and gives a small smile. "I think your left one is going to hold up longer. I guess it's strong, like you!"

I watch him skeptically, taking my packet of pills from him with my eyes still on his face.

"Where's Celty?" I ask, calmly swallowing one capsule after the other. Shinra gets that uncomfortable expression on his childish face again.

"Um…"

I roll my eyes. "Just spit it out."

"Um… I don't really know."

I scoff, turning away from him. I don't respond to any of his prodding questions and fingers for the rest of his stay and dismiss his entire presence from my radar.  
>It wasn't that hard; I just had to keep him on the right side of me. That way, I don't see him, or anything else for that matter, and he can keep his annoying existence out of my sight and out of my mind.<p>

After he finally gave up on appeasing me, he left in a great blob of dejection and misery.

Good.

The rest of the day goes by without another incident regarding the Doctor Who Shall Not Be Named.

A.k.a Shinra.

* * *

><p>A smack to the face steals me from the clutches of my nightmare and I sit up abruptly, popping a joint somewhere on my body.<p>

"Ow… " I mutter, and my eyes start adjusting to the darkness of my room. A face is hovering just a few inches away from mine. I note the pale features and the blazing red eyes before it strikes me. "Izaya?"

"Ding, ding!" he giggles, dancing back a step from me. "So glad you remembered my name, Shizu-chan!"

He isn't wearing the hospital gowns anymore. Instead, he's clad fully in black clothes; black fur-trimmed jacket, black shirt and black jeans. They suit him, I have to admit; much better than that hideous hospital gown. I briefly wonder whether this is just a dream. I could have sworn he was still lying in bed yesterday when I went to visit.

Nevertheless, I scowl my habitual scowl and fold my arms across my chest. "What are you doing here, pest?"

"Ouch," he says, holding his heart. "But, don't worry Shizu-chan! I know you have a bad mouth so I know that was your way of saying, 'Oh, Izaya-kun! Why didn't you come earlier? I missed you so much!'" Then the freak doubles over laughing.

I roll my eye, but don't refute what he said. I hold out a hand expectantly.

"Hm? We're already doing some hand-holding action? Or are you inviting me into your bed?"

I feel my face heat up and flush red. Thankfully it must be too dark for him to see… I hope. "N-No! What the hell… Just," I pause when Izaya gives me a very suggestive expression and growl. "I want my cigarettes."

He ignores me, sauntering around my room like he owns it. For some reason, the nighttime darkness seems to suit him better than sunlight. His eyes glint with mischief when he glances over at me. He hooks his thumbs into his jean pockets and I notice the subtle glint of a silver ring on his index finger.

"Ne, Shizu-chan," his voice snaps me back into reality, "What do you think about humanity?"

"…huh?" I say smartly. I really didn't see that coming.

"Humans. Do you like them?"

Well, that's random. "Uh, they're okay?"

His face takes on an extremely thoughtful expression and I'm left wondering what goes on his crazy head. He bounds over to sit at the end of my bed. His legs swing back and forth, hitting the metal frame with dull, rhythmic thuds.

Izaya looks up and gives me a playful smirk. I must have imagined the wistful, glazed eyes. "Do you ever wish that you were one?"

I jolt back immediately. To say that I am taken aback would be an understatement.

"What?" My good eye narrows dangerously.

"That temper of yours is absolutely monstrous!" he exclaims, folding his arms behind his head and flopping down onto my mattress. His elbow brushes my ankle as he settles himself down comfortably.

I know I should move away, but I don't.

"What was that… flea?" I'm not sure why I just called him that. The name just slipped out between my lips leaving me confused by the familiar way it tasted.

Red irises slant over to me with that arrogant attitude of his back in place. "Heiwajima Shizu-chan, big, bad monster of Ikebukuro, Blood type: O, previously attended Raira Academy, working as a debt collector for Tanaka Tom, born on Sept—!"

My jaw hits the floor.

"Hold it!" I snap, before he can go on any further. "What the hell? Are you some kind of stalker?"

"Of course not, silly Shizu-chan. I just know everything there is to know about everyone in Tokyo. It's—it was—my job after all."

"You worked as a stalker?"

Izaya bursts out laughing, his face softening with the evident amusement. If only he would always look like that, then maybe he wouldn't be so despicable. Then abruptly, he starts coughing.

Like… _seriously_ coughing.

He's doubled over, clutching at his stomach as he curls onto his side. The coughs wrack through his slender body and he's covering his mouth with both hands. His eyes are squeezed closed as the mysterious ailment takes over his throat and refuses to leave him.

I scoot to his side and examine him as best I can with my current eye-condition. "What the hell were you thinking, running around right after you woke up?" I say, exasperated.

Izaya tries to answer me, but all that comes up is a garbled mess of coughs. Awkwardly, I place my hand on his back and pat it as soothingly as I can. We both wait for the episode to be over.

"Ugh," he groans, curling in on himself and unconsciously leaning into my hand. His dark hair tickles my knee. A sliver of moonlight slides over his cheek and throat and I notice how his skin is lined with a thin layer of sweat.

I slide off the bed, grabbing a cigarette from Tom's pack on my table. They're not the brand I'm used to but they're better than nothing. I reach out to grab Izaya's thin arm and tug as lightly as I can. "Come on, I'll walk you back to your room."

He struggles to his feet before immediately falling to his knees with a pained grunt and a sharp clack as his jaw snaps shut. Somehow, I saw that coming. I stand there, still holding Izaya's wrist, thinking.

Ah, heck. I can't have Celty finding him here in the morning.

I drop his wrist and he glances up to me with a frustrated expression on his face. I understand how he's feeling right now. I know now how it feels to feel useless and weak.

I can tell that someone like Izaya would hate that feeling the most.

He continues to struggle to his feet and I tell him, "Just stop." He just glares and continues his pathetic attempts to stand. A few coughs escape him again.

I swoop down, placing one hand on his back and the other under his knees. I stand effortlessly with the annoying flea in my arms. He looks astounded, like he doesn't know where he is.

"Shizu-chan," he growls, his voice still hoarse, "What do you think you're doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"I'm not some girl! Put me down!" Izaya starts twisting around but even if he was at his full strength, he would never be able to escape me.

Hell, an elephant wouldn't be able to escape me.

I prop his torso against the wall, keeping only the one hand under his legs as I rummage through my pocket. Izaya gives me a wordless, incredulous look. Then he starts his maniacal giggling again. "What a monster!"

I ignore him, pretending not to notice our extremely close proximity. I pull out my lighter and with the same hand, I grab another stick of my addiction and place it between my lips. But before I can light it, Izaya rips it from my mouth.

"You are _not_ smoking that shit right next to my face!" Then he tosses the love of my life to the ground.

It took all my willpower just then not to throw him across the hall; no scratch that, across the country.

That may have been a bit of an exaggeration, but I can't be sure. I've never tried throwing someone that far before.

Izaya just crosses his arms and tries to maintain whatever dignity he has after being manhandled by me.

Scowling, I give my cigarette a longing look before repositioning my arm behind the flea known as Izaya and walk briskly back to his room.

He doesn't question how I know where it is.

* * *

><p>I dump him unceremoniously on his bed. His pout is another sight that I save in my memory. It nearly made me grin in victorious ecstasy.<p>

Almost.

After making sure that he isn't going to die tonight, I leave.

"Wait," Izaya's voice stops me cold and I turn to face him. On his face is not his typical, snotty, sinister smile but instead, it's sweet and sincere. And it stops my heart cold too, just like his voice did.

It feels like I just met him.

The shadows of the room no longer make him look like he belongs. He looks more like a prisoner to the dark tendrils. Within their mass, he looks small and alone and for a moment, I thought I would save him.

But then, I realize I'm too far gone to save anyone. Not even me.

"Here," My hand shoots up automatically to block a square object from hitting me right in the middle of my forehead. He has really good aim…

Bringing the mystery box to my face, I realize it's my cigarettes. My lips twist up at the corners.

I turn and march out of the room without a thanks. Not reason to thank him for giving me something that's mine, right?

I hear a quiet, "Goodnight, Shizu-chan," as I stalk down the hall back to my own quarters. It's not until I'm halfway there when I mutter,

"Goodnight… flea."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Did I mess up? =_= I'm really paranoid right now that I'm going to slip up and ruin the story. *starts hyperventilating* Exam tomorrow morning! Did I mention how much I hate math?  
>Anyways please <strong>review<strong>! And in case you didn't read the question in the AN at the top: Would you guys like some lemonade? :D


	6. Chapter Six: Stumped

**A/N: **Hello my beautiful readers! Did I ever tell you how much I love you guys? Well, I LOVE YOU GUYS. I don't have a lot of them but I treasure each and every one of your reviews, faves, alerts and whatnot so very much. Your reviews make my day and I'm so happy that you'd take the time to read and write something about this story, so thank you! It might be the music I'm listening to, making me all sentimental and stuff xD But I speak from my heart! I just finished my exam this morning so I'm kind of giddy…  
>If you didn't review, you can just skip past the replies, 'kay? :x<p>

**Ravenwood316: **1 vote for some yummy lemonade! Ah thank you so much, you really gave me a nice nudge upwards in the confidence section :D And you're right, since this is my story, it doesn't matter what others think right? But either way, I still aim to please ^^ I'm very happy that you're enjoying it so far. About the beta reader thing, I've already asked a friend to proof read so I'm sorry that job is taken D: I'll be sure to ask you whenever I'm in a pinch though! Here's your update!

**kurosendo: **ehhh, yet another is stumped about Izaya's condition? Really? When I practically told you guys what it is… *wink* I thought it was obvious, but I guess that's just cause I'm the one writing.. xD Thanks for the review!

**icywarm: **Oh I'm so glad you love it! =w= I suppose it is a tad too serious, but I'm glad I could make you laugh! Even though I don't remember trying to add any humor .. lol. I guess Shizu-chan is just a funny guy? I will try not to fail you and ruin this story, thanks for the lovely review.

**Woot: **- Cool name XD Ahhh yay thank you for loving the story~! Ohhh so you're on the no-lemon side :O I'm a little surprised, usually people are all, OMG HOT SMOKIN SEX PLEASE! But I get what you're saying. Hm, despite the serious nature, I'm pretty sure I can squeeze a few drops of lemon in. And Izaya's not that frail! Well… err… he'd be able to stay conscious for a round? Idk! Even if I end up adding lemon, I don't think it'll be more than once. Thanks for the input :D And here's the next chapter!

**PsychedelicEVO: **Hehe, thanks ^w^ Oh yay, I can't wait to see the finished product! Ugh, homework's a bitch :S Iza-chan's just full of surprises~ My decisions say thank you, and I say thanks for your kind words.

I think that's about enough rambling, and time to get on with the actual story. Sorry for talking too much.

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Six

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><p>Quiet footsteps enter my room and I spin away from the soap opera I was paying mild-attention to. The annoying main character who I already forgot the name of, cries about how her husband never gets her any presents anymore. Why doesn't this fucking hospital have any better channels? Or at least a knife so I can stab myself.<p>

My vision comes up blank and I swivel the other direction in frustration.

A thin, black haired boy steps into my room and I immediately think, 'Izaya?' But another look tells me that no, it's not Izaya. First of all, Izaya would never walk normally and his face is never this emotionless.

I chide myself slowly for letting that flea pop up into my mind at the first glance at someone who has black hair.

And not just anyone, it's my _brother_.

Shame on me.

"Kasuka!" I greet, giving him my warmest smile. He lets a small one slide over his own lips. I'm fairly sure I'm one of the only people he smiles to; except when he's acting. Kasuka has always been a good actor, but he's never acting when he's with me.

"Nii-san," he says calmly, standing next to my bed. His two body guards stand at the door uncomfortably. Kasuka nods to the one with red hair and he brings over a box.

The burly man drops it on my lap. "What's this?"

He doesn't bother replying as he watches me open it. He's never one to waste words. It's kind of a ritual for him to appear all of a sudden with a mysterious box that he hands to me.

I rip open the lid and to peer inside. I wonder what he has for me this time.

"Hahaha… thanks, Kasuka… You shouldn't have," I say awkwardly, taking out the weird contraption.

Kasuka remains stares at me impassively and we're both silent for a long moment.

"You don't know what it is, do you?"

"No."

"It's a harness."

"Oh… cool."

He sighs, letting another rare smile to creep up on his gentle face. "You know what a dog is, right, Nii-san?"

"Well, yeah," I scoff, offended.

"You use the harness on a dog. It's a type of leash."

Well kill me for being stupid, but what is he getting at? "You know I don't have a dog, Kasuka."

My little brother turns to the door and motions with his head. A shady looking man in a dark suit and sunglasses (no I'm not describing myself) saunters in with a shapeless blob in his arms.

Oh shit.

Kasuka takes the end of the creature from Mr. Suspicious Man and sends him off on his way. Then he turns back to me. "Here," he says, holding out the animal up to my face.

Shit, shit, shit.

His face is expectant, like he expects me to take the beast and thank him with a smile.

I try to grin but my lips merely twist into a grimace. Kasuka balances the dog in one arm, takes the box from my lap and promptly drops the dog onto my legs.

"Shit!" I yelp, picking up the thing by its neck and holding it away. "Kasu—!" I peer around the room, furious, but my little brother is already gone. And so are his bodyguards.

I turn to the small bundle sitting next to me with a pitiful, confused expression. His gold fur is shiny and clean and his eyes large and lucid.

I'd be lying if I say I'm completely immune to its charm.

Well great…. what the hell am I supposed to do with a dog? Are animals even allowed in this hospital?

The beast and I stare at each other for in complete silence. I still have no idea what to do.

* * *

><p>"KYAAAAAAA! YUUHEI!" A shrill scream sends me careening to my feet and the Beast on my bed growls, jumping down to stand next to me.<p>

Ignoring it for the moment, I spring out into the hall. I see Kasuka standing there motionlessly behind his two human shields who were currently fending off the attacks of two high school girls.

The dog, which I refuse to call mine, barks and yips agitatedly. It doesn't leave my side however. Kasuka and the two body guards turn to look at me. Just then, one of the girls leaps up, does a round house kick and knocks out both of them before I have a chance to blink.

I rush over in fear for my brother's life and/or virginity.

I pick up the two small girls before they can touch him and they flail indignantly. How had these pipsqueaks knocked out two professionally trained supposed experts single handedly? "Put us down!" the one with glasses shrieks, pounding small fists on my leg. I don't even feel it.

"…down," the other one murmurs, not moving a single muscle.

Kasuka just stares and stares. Then he nods to me before stepping around us and showing himself out. I'm surprised he isn't running. He must deal with this kind of thing every day to be so unfazed by it. Then again, he used to deal with me every day; something like this _shouldn't_ faze him.

As soon as his dark hair is out of sight and hopefully out of the building, I set the girls on their feet. I look down at them and I'm momentarily taken back. Why do they look so familiar?

The quiet one grips the other's shoulder in her tiny hand and says, "Mairu… like… Yuuhei," she points to my face and her dark, sorrel colored eyes bore into mine. They're so familiar…

"You're right," Mairu says clearly, staring me down. "Are you Yuuhei's dad or something?"

Insolent brat! Only the fact that I never hit girls stops me from sending her out the window and onto the freeway. "Brother," I correct through gritted teeth.

"Ooooh!" They chorus, looking at me with adoring eyes. I'm reminded of the—no, _my_ animal's presence when it bounds up to the quiet girl and licks her ankles. She giggles quietly, bending down to pet its head. Mairu squeals and squats down as well. "A puppy!"

"Mairu? Kururi?" An achingly familiar voice sounds from the room to our right. The door opens fully and out steps Izaya, clad in his black outfit. He seems to have recovered fully from last night's episode. "What are you two—?"

"Iza-nii!" Mairu exclaims, jumping to her feet, sending the puppy reeling back in surprise. She giggles, skipping forward to wrap her arms around his.

Wait… Iza… nii?

No wonder they look so familiar. They're sibling fleas.

The other girl, Kururi, moves forward at a more controlled pace. "Iza… don't… round… so much."

"Haha, Kururi-chan worries too much!" the flea laughs. How the hell does he know what she's saying?

The beast standing next to me sits down, looking stumped, his tail thudding against the floor hesitantly.

I stand up slowly, hoping maybe I could just get away without being noticed but when have I ever been so lucky?

"Oh, Shizu-chan! How nice of you to come visit again!"

"Shizu-chan?" Mairu questions, turning to look at my general direction. "Oh! You mean the dog?"

Must… not… kill… high school girl!

Izaya cracks up, holding a hand to his forehead as he does so. He smirks at me. "Yeah… the dog." A giggle slips into his sentence.

Must… not… kill… the flea!

Wait, why not?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Urgh, kind of tired. That wasn't very good... =_= Too tired to care! Anyways, you guys know why Kasuka gave Shizu-chan a doggy right? :D And lemon / character death are still open for discussion. If you're really against it, say something before it's too late. xP Please **review**! Love you!


	7. Chapter Seven: Challenged

**A/N: **I have a lot of free time this week, since I have it off from school :D Yay for me! Anyways, you guys have no idea how much I grin like an idiot whenever I read your reviews. So, thank you soooo much for brightening my day; this story is so worth writing thanks to you guys! XOXO Also, I am so, so, unsure about this chapter! I think it sucks really bad but for some reason, I'm unable to fix it. Argh, *pulls at hair* I suck at this.  
>~Replies~ I'll try to keep them brief this time, ahahah.. xD<br>**PsychedelicEVO: **I shall take your lovely idea into consideration ^^ Thanks again for reviewing and sticking with me!

**Ravenwood316: **Thanks! : ) Yay, character death! Isn't Kasuka sweet? I wonder~ Here's your update!

**ScreamingPancake: **Hehe! I hope I manage to keep surprising you! Indeed, Iza-chan never fails to amuse , poor Shizu-chan xD And I completely agree with what you said about the lemon ^^ I'll see how it turns out. I'll be sure to warn people if I do end up incorporating some. Thank you for the awesome review! I'll try not to lose my 'wonderful work' XD even though I don't think it's that wonderful.

**Isthisparadise: **Yup, this pup is gonna be Shizu-chan's new eyes~! Iza-chan can help name it :D Pro-lemoner! ^^ But I hold no promises on keeping Izaya alive, sorry about that! It all depends how things work out. Thank you for the lovely praise!

**Maru de Kusanagi: **Here you go xD more! Lol.

**icywarm: **Kind of you ^^

**risette: **Glad you liked it! :)

**Alternative Randomness: **Yay! :D And yup, it 's a seeing eye dog. Iza-chan's mysterious illness once again? This chapter will show that it has its ups and downs. Sometimes it'll seem like he's alright :) Ah thankyou, I hope I can keep it up! Thanks for the review~

**GreenTea: **Thanks ^w^ Hm, I'll consider the happy ending part, no promises though! XD

**tamyyiia: **Lol! Thanks and here's your update ~

Hope that was brief enough. I hope to hear from you all again! And you too, shy alerters and favers. Or I shall send Simon after you, asking if you want sushi from under your bed. That's right, I went there.

* * *

><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Seven

* * *

><p>"Shizu-chan, is that your little brother I see?" Izaya asks.<p>

"Huh?" I say, swiveling around but not seeing Kasuka anywhere. "Where?"

Kururi giggles and points to the dog.

That's it; I'm going to exterminate this flea once and for all.

"IZAYA!" I roar. I've just about had it with his taunts. I pick up the nearest vending machine and before I can think twice about my actions, and throw it. The red haze that has taken over me fades as soon as it's in the air.

Shit!

Izaya looks small and vulnerable as the machine goes careening to him. I mentally curse and kill myself inside my head and the puppy is whining, holding his small paws over his nose as he braces himself for impact.

Shit. Izaya. I can't believe I just—

Just as the vending machine is about to meet its target, Izaya grabs hold of both his sisters' arms and, with a huge grin on his face, dances out of the way just in the nick of time.

He picks his way over the broken remains and looks it over, as if not really believing that a flying appliance was just a hair's breadth away from smashing him to smithereens.

"Shit," I grunt, dropping down to land on my bottom. I grip a few strands of my hair in my hands and clench my teeth. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I control myself?

I really am a monster, just like he said.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya questions, tip-toeing over to my side. He peers down at me with confused, crimson eyes. I imagined them widening with pain and betrayal if my weapon of choice had really hit home.

But when I look up, there isn't a trace of fear in his pale features.

"I could have killed you," I groan, covering my face with my hands. The puppy paws at my leg, attempting to console me. As if it wasn't already one of my many problems.

The raven haired boy never ceases to amaze me as he bursts into another bout of laughter. "You? Kill me?" he snorts. "You couldn't if you tried!"

…

He glowers at my disbelieving expression and folds his arm across his chest. Then he breaks into a grin. "Don't believe me, eh?"

"Nope," I snort back. Not after that episode last night. I doubt he could land a scratch on me.

"You shouldn't underestimate Iza-nii," Mairu warns, reminding me of our audience. I scoff again. I've been told my strength rivals the hulk and an army of a hundred wooly mammoths. As if this flea could hurt me?

Izaya's foot kicks me on my ankle, not very lightly. "Get up," he says.

"Why?"

"Just get up!"

I do, slowly. I keep my eyes trained on his face, not liking the mischievous glint in those bloody irises.

"I challenge you, Shizu-chan, to a duel!" Izaya proclaims, with a happy smile. I really, really do not like that look in his eyes.

I sigh, holding up my hands. "Fine, a duel right?" He nods. I'm only doing this to appease him. "Don't blame me if you get hurt, flea."

"Tch," he replies, tilting his small face up haughtily. "Let's take this outside."

I think twice about this; he seems really serious. I wonder whether it's a good idea to be fighting a sick person. Then again, I'm half blind so that evens things out right?

As if.

"Yay, a fight!" Mairu crows, reminding me too much of Izaya.

"…fight…" Kururi echoes. The dog barks, wanting to feel included.

"Follow me, Shizu-chan." Then he skips down the hallway, tugging at my sleeve occasionally, like the little psychopath that he is.

* * *

><p>Soon enough, we're on one of the busiest streets of Ikebukuro. The crisp afternoon breeze and the loud buzz of traffic and society makes me realize what I have been missing out on.<p>

Truthfully, I'm a little perturbed at how easily we made it out. All the flea had to do was whisper a few words into the annoying woman named 'Betty's' ear and we got a one way ticket to freedom.

I'm not sure this is how I imagined it though; freedom that is. Not with Izaya prancing next to me, two high school girls whispering fantasies about my little brother and a dog that keeps playing with my ankle like it's a chew toy.

"Alright," Izaya sings, running a head a little so he can turn and face me. There's about a few meter's berth between us but somehow, I can still make out what he's saying. "Rule number one: There are no rules!"

"What kind of fight is this?" I wonder meticulously.

"A street fight of course!" the flea exclaims.

I feel it would be fairer to warn him again. "Look flea, I'm not some normal guy alright? You saw that back there, I threw a vending machine at you. What are you trying to prove?"

"That I'm not some weak girl," he snarls, and I know now that he's trying to heal his wounded pride from last night.

Mairu, Kururi (with the puppy in her arms) are standing on the side lines with excited expressions.

So, I guess there's no choice. I shrug, walking over to the side walk. I let some of my angry red haze take over my failing vision and I rip the stop sign out from the pavement. The metal caves in with every slight flex of my fingers. When I look over to Izaya, I'm a little disturbed by the anticipating expression on his face.

He looks so alive, and for once, I admit he looks strong.

Not as strong as me of course, but formidable. I decide to test him out.

The pedestrians and innocent bystanders stare at me open-mouthed; it's nothing that I'm not used to. But some are pointing and whispering about Izaya too, and that's what worries me.

Why is his name on so many of their lips?

I understand completely why Izaya is doing this now; in a way, it's for both of us. We have to prove that we still exist and that we're still alive. And I suppose doing what we do best, fighting, is one way to go at it.

"You don't think that little street sign will scratch me, do you, Shizu-chan?" Izaya taunts, waggling his fingers playfully in my direction.

"We'll see about that, flea," I reply, tensing my muscles. Then abruptly, I throw the stop sign like a javelin at Izaya.

His laughter sends chills down my spine as he flips out of the way, his fur-lined jacket fluttering out behind him. How does he do that? Isn't he supposed to be sick?

"I may be sick, but that doesn't make me weak."

It's like he read my mind.

"Don't go easy on me, or I'll win!"

Oh, it's on.

* * *

><p>At the end of our 'street fight', I had damaged about 5 buildings, 7 unfortunate vending machines and 10 different assortments of street signs. Yield, stop, one-way, take your pick.<p>

As Izaya had promised, he walked out without a scratch.

And also like he had promised, he won. A thin, diagonal cut stretched across my torso, ripping my shirt in the process and staining it with the rich, ruby color of my life essence.

I was, and still am, astounded by his feat. I, Heiwajima Shizuo, Fortissimo of Ikebukuro, labeled as 'monster' by all of the most formidable gangs in Tokyo, practically a legend around these parts, had lost to a puny little flea.

A sick one, at that.

I try to make it seem like I don't care. It bugs me, how Izaya is still prancing around next to me as we head back to the hospital, taking in the sights of being outdoors again, not a hair out of place. He has that irritating, goading smirk plastered on whenever he feels me staring at him.

It's so annoying.

This isn't over. I'll get him back for this. Heiwajima Shizuo does not lose to pesky fleas.

Great, now I'm thinking in third person.

"Here," I say abruptly, dropping Dog into his arms. Yeah, I named him Dog. I didn't bother thinking of anything else. Izaya fumbles to catch the animal and he lifts it up to his face with mild amusement.

I'm pissed that it doesn't seem to bother him.

After a moment, he muses, "I still like humans more."

"… Too bad."

Continuing on like I hadn't said anything, Izaya holds the puppy to his chest, ring glinting in the afternoon sun. "What's his name?"

"Dog." I tell him, straight-faced.

Izaya laughs loudly and quite obnoxiously. He lifts Dog up again, the poor animal's hind legs dangling in the air limply. "Poor thing!" he grins, "Having such a brainless protozoan as a daddy!"

"Hey!" I immediately go on the defense.

The flea smiles and pats Dog's head with a smile. "Don't worry, little monster, the great Izaya-sama will take much better care of you! First off, new name!"

I rub my hands over my face tiredly. "Why does it matter what name the beast has anyways?"

"Beast, it is."

"HUH?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Nico, nico~ (smile) I named the cute puppy, Beast. Lmao, don't hate. It's better than naming it… Fluffy or something right? So this chapter was completely random and I have no idea where it came from. But I just wanted Izaya to redeem himself a little, y'know? To keep him in character. The worst thing possible to me is writing OOCs. *shudder* Iza and Shizu had some quality bonding time before the real drama hits up. To be perfectly honest, I believe I failed on an epic level at writing this chapter. Ughhh! Tell me what you think? **REVIEW! **Rape that button like no tomorrow ^^


	8. Chapter Eight: Confronted

**{DISCLAIMER} Forsythia Sky does not own Durarara! in any way, shape or form.  
><strong>**{A/Ns will be shoved to the bottom from now on; they waste too much space at the beginning.} **

* * *

><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Eight

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><p>"What the hell were you two thinking?" Shinra exclaims, actually looking extremely pissed. He paces back and forth in front of the small room television, running his fingers through his brown locks over and over again.<p>

Izaya, sitting in a plastic visitor's chair, is completely unperturbed by angry-Shinra's wrath.

"Did you guys see the news broadcast?"

"Nope!" the flea sings, swinging his legs back and forth. Beast, who has apparently taken a great liking to the 'great Izaya-sama', is currently sitting in his lap, soft tail wagging furiously.

I know I said I that I didn't want a dog in the first place, but it pisses me off that the animal chose him over me.

I'm not jealous or anything! I'm just annoyed.

As Shinra rambles on and on about how much destruction we caused just this afternoon, I roll my good eye and turn to the window. I tune out the young doctor's irritating ranting before I lose it and hurt someone.

The setting sun casts a soft, orange glow into Izaya's room. The bloody hue outlines his dark hair and sets his irises on fire.

I see cities and towns burn in those eyes.

"Shizuo, are you even listening to me?" Shinra snaps.

I close my left eye tiredly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm going to cause death and destruction to all. What's new?"

"That's not what I was saying!"

"Oh?"

Shinra pushes his glasses up higher the bridge of his nose. The sunlight filtering in casts a bright, gleaming sheen over the shiny surface as it shifts. "Watch this," he says simply, turning to the old piece of junk that this hospital calls a television.

"Wait, Shizu-chan, take your dog," Izaya mutters, practically shoving Beast into my lap. I slant my gaze over to him in surprise and a pang shoots through me. His thin face is twisted into a grimace of pain and his fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. His teeth are gritted tightly together. Izaya sets his blazing gaze on my face dangerously.

I caught the look. 'Don't say a word.'

Then he jerks his head sharply back to the TV screen. Shinra's back is to us, fiddling with the remote. He doesn't notice our silent exchange.

I don't even notice when I start dragging my fingers through Beast's fur. Goddamn flea… if you're hurting you should just say so! The small dog whimpers, tilting his head up to give me a goading, wide-eyed look.

"Shut up," I mumble.

Just then, the screen flares into life. I hear a small 'aha!' from Shinra as he backs up to sit on the bed. He gives both me and Izaya a very pointed, exasperated look before the program starts.

"This is the news from an hour ago."

As the program runs, I can't help but shoot Izaya worried glances every few minutes. 'IZAYAAAAA!' I hear myself roar from the broadcast. The flea's laughter echoes every few minutes as he tosses around random taunts. There's crashing and destructive sounds that follow each taunt and I realize how much it really is like a monster attack. Izaya manages to slip agilely past every object thrown at his projectile. How different it was this afternoon. For once, I felt we were both free.

Izaya glances at me, not oblivious to any of my searching gazes. There's that thin layer of sweat coating his skin again. His pale hand clenched into a fist at his side.

I swallow, hard, when I notice how they're shaking.

Why does he want me to keep quiet?

Actually, why do I care what he wants?

I realize that I don't, and when I open my mouth to notify the still oblivious doctor who was still caught up in the program, a sharp glint and an ominous aura catches me from the side. I whip my head around to see Izaya, pointing his flick blade right at me. He's still trembling and his eyes remain the only steady and furious part of him. The look sends a cold sensation up my spine.

A part of me flutters in excitement, the monstrous voice telling me to 'do it' and 'start another fight'. That part of me adored the duel between the flea and I. Way too much for my comfort.

The human part of me, if that exists, is worried.

As Shinra glances back to us, Izaya's knife slides back into his sleeve and I turn my attention back to the show before he notices anything amiss.

"The monster of Ikebukuro, Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya, the informant, terrorize the city!"

Shut up, moronic news woman—wait! Informant?

I knew his name was familiar.

He's the scum that gave gangs all the information they need. Being an informant is one of the shadiest jobs out there, if you ask me.

It explains how everyone knew his name this afternoon. He must have been a big-shot over in Shinjuku.

Strangely, it doesn't bother me so much, even now that I've found out.

"See what you two have done?" Shinra's voice interrupts my thoughts. "2 million in property damages! It's insane!"

"That's all?" Izaya manages out, tilting his head back in a carefree manner. He doesn't fool me a single bit. "I can pay it off, no problem."

My fingers clench around Beast's sides and he yelps in pain. "Sorry," I whisper, mentally commanding my traitorous limbs to relax and listen to me. I give the dog ten points for not running away right now.

Shinra sighs, standing up to put his hands on his hips and face both of us in his most intimidating stance possible.

It's really not intimidating at all.

"Why the hell were you two fighting anyways?"

Hm, I can't say I remember. I was angry, and when I'm angry, my body reacts before my mind does. Let's just say that's one of my biggest faults.

Izaya remains uncharacteristically quiet and I feel that odd pang shoot through me again. Stupid pest.

"Damn flea was pissin' me off," I growl.

Shinra nods like he truly understands. I guess anyone who knows Izaya even slightly would know what I'm talking about. "Shizuo, that's what you should expect from Izaya. There's no helping it," he giggles. "He's a little bit of an asshole but he's okay once you get to know him."

Izaya gives a very subtle cough. "You wound me," he joked, though his tone lacked the inflection.

"Right, well, Celty's waiting for me in our bed!" Shinra coos, moving his hips in an extremely disturbing motion. At least he's back to his usual self. Being serious really doesn't suit him. "Try not to fight anymore, please?" he sings before disappearing out the door.

… And then there were two.

After a short silence, I grumble, "Oi, flea," while standing up. Beast slips off my lap with a startled bark and he bites my ankle reprimanding my action. I move to tower over Izaya where he's seated.

He tilts his head to look at me. "Yes, Shizu-chan?"

"Don't play that. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"That's no way to treat a sick person," he taunts with a stubborn twist of his head so that he's facing the window instead of my presence.

I growl and tug strands of my bleached hair in frustration. "If you're not going to tell me, then I'll just ask Shinra."

Before I can even blink, there's a sharp point at my throat. Izaya, now standing, has his blade pressed up against my vocal chords and his body is pressed up against my own. Though the top of his head only reaches to about my nose, I can't help but feel a little intimidated as he glares up at me.

The shadow shielding half of his face looks ominous and I see my tense face reflected back at me within his crimson eyes. A small drop of sweat slides down the side of his cheek, caressing the pale skin before falling to the floor.

A bead of my blood slides down to join it.

"Shi… zu—!" he coughs, attempting to clear his dry throat. The sound scratches through and his slender body gives an involuntary shudder. Beast, standing at our feet whimpers.

Before he can slip away, I grip his upper arms in my hands. I feel as if he might break if I hold on too tightly. His forehead hits my chest as he collapses.

"Izaya? Izaya!" I gasp, shaking him a little. His dark head lolls back and I see he's unconscious.

Well, fuck.

* * *

><p>I sit quietly in my room, contemplating. The nurses had said that Izaya should be alright; that this was an often occurrence whenever he over-exerts himself.<p>

I knew that fight was a bad idea.

But for some reason, I can't bring myself to regret it.

Seeing the lively gleam and the bright, excited smile on his face made it all worth it.

Beast growls to himself, pacing back and forth in front of my legs. He really reminds me of myself, I have to admit.

I can tell he's nervous for Izaya and insanely worried. Stupid, over-protective animal. On second thought, he isn't anything like me.

When I look at his fluffy golden form prowling around, I'm reminded of my problem. What the hell am I supposed to do with a dog? Groaning, I clutch at the brief, lancing pain in my left eye that I've grown used to.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with you?"

Beast glances at me, gives a small yip and leaps onto my lap. His strength startles me, as I automatically catch him in my arms. The puppy begins to lick my fingers in quick, excited motions.

"I don't even have any food for you," I tell him. And momentarily, I consider that perhaps, Izaya would really be a better owner for him. But then again, no. I shake my head. He's really in no condition to be taking care of anything else.

And besides, Kasuka gave him to me. And that in itself makes Beast worth keeping.

I can't believe I'm really calling him Beast though...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Ay ay ay : ) What up. How is everyone? Good I hope? I was listening to this song called, 'Let's watch this city burn' and holy shit, I was like, this was made for Izaya wasn't it? Roflmao. Anyways, I won't be replying to all your review on these chapters anymore but, NEVER FEAR! I *have* read all of them, so they weren't written for naught! I appreciate every word you write and it makes me grin idiotically to myself. So please, keep **reviewing! **It makes this fanfiction possible. I love you all! I was honestly considering stopping after chapter seven 'cause I was so unhappy with it, but your amazing compliments made me confident enough to continue. So, thank you again!

Some general concerns I noticed a lot of people had were

**Why is this story called 'Lithium'? What's wrong with Izaya? **

I will not be answering these questions directly, as they will be disclosed in the actual story. All you gotta do to find out is keep reading! Wahahah~  
>As for lemon, I have decided that it would be impossible to include.<br>Thank you again for reading and **reviewing. ***heart* A/Ns will no longer be so unnecessarily long and drabbling. Bye for now!


	9. Chapter Nine: Lesioned

**A/N: **Hello everyone. I'm kind of depressed right now. Chapter eight was not so good... I will re-think character death because of all the unfavorable reviews. You guys are so soft T-T  
>Well anyways, if you figure out Izaya's illness before it's revealed, please kindly do not drop a review saying OMG I KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH IZAYA, HE HAS _! It will ruin it for other readers, so don't do that ne? :D Guesses are still welcome though~! (As long as you don't try too hard to get it right LOL) And yes, I did break my own rule of no ANs at the top. IDC! ~(=w=~) Now here is chapter nine! And yes, in response to one of my treasured reviewers, this probably will be kind of a long story. I'm not sure yet though…  
>And omg! I've finally made it to the 50 review point. Help me get to 100, please? :D I'm aiming for 10 reviews per chapter! * giggles* Thank you for sticking by me! I don't deserve your praise! *bows to reviewers*<br>**{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to me, and neither does Iza or Shizu-chan. But I do own Beast, though! **

* * *

><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Nine

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><p>It's morning now, and I'm woken by loud, purposeful raps on my door. It can't be Celty or Shinra because neither of them ever knock. I let my eyelids drag themselves slowly open, the sunlight filtering through and sending a sharp sting of pain to my left eye.<p>

Groaning, I sit up and lean over so I can grip the hem of the white drapes and fling them shut. My eyes have slipped closed again as I fumble blindly for my sacred sunglasses. I slip them on my face and get up with a long, much-needed stretching of my tired muscles. Beast, who had wormed his way into my bed last night despite my original protests, sits up as well and watches me as I get the door.

When I open it, the hall way is empty.

This better not be a fucking prank—!

Oh. I bend down, examining the box sitting at my feet. There's no label on it or anything but then I see the words scribbled on the side of the box.

'Nii-san,' it reads. And that's all. No further message or any details. Leave it to Kasuka to be brief even when writing. It always seems like he has a limited supply of words, and everything he does say is treasured and extremely important.

He's the complete opposite of me in every way. It never fails to surprise someone when they find out we're brothers… or just related in that matter.

I pick up the large cardboard box effortlessly and march back into my room. I close the door behind me with a swift kick of my foot.

I drop the box on my bed and Beast immediately ventures over to give the unknown item a good sniffing. I drag my finger through the seam and it opens as easy as a knife cuts through butter. Inside, are basically everything that Beast needs to survive in my care. There's food bowls, toys, a bed and a bag of treats.

I slowly take out the small dog bed and put it on the ground. It looks pathetic, even to me. I have a feeling that Beast won't be using it; he hasn't even given it a second glance.

I put the bowls next to it and let the dog sniff it to his heart's content. After a few minutes, he's bored and I sit there, lost.

I wonder how the flea's doing…

Bam! The door flings open and Celty walks in.

See what I mean when I say they never knock? Honestly, what if I was changing or something?

**[**Morning, Shizuo] Celty smiles sweetly and hands me my breakfast and medicine. Then she clasps her hands next to her face in adoration. I can tell her actions are screaming, 'Oh my god, it's a puppy!'

I was right. She squats down next to my dog and strokes his golden fur. He wags his tail furiously and stands up on his hind legs and places his front legs on Celty's shoulders. He gives her face a good, clean licking. Celty soundlessly giggles and kisses his nose.

What a suck up.

A phone is promptly shoved into my face. **[**What's his name?**]**

I bite my lip, wondering if I should immediately think up a new name. But then I realize that my imagination is as good as a dead lizard's and I tell her honestly, "Beast."

Celty and I stare at each other for a while before she bursts out into a silent bout of laughter. She wipes at her eyes, collecting herself. **[**No, seriously, what's his name XD**]**

"Beast," I deadpan.

She turns slowly to Beast who has his cutest face possible plastered on. Seriously, what a suck up! Did Izaya teach him some of his tricks or something?

**[**This adorable puppy cannot be named Beast!**] **Celty types furiously. She quickly wipes the message and replaces it with another. **[**Re-name him!**]**

"Too lazy," I shrug. I reach over to grab a cig and light it. The poisonous smoke fills my lungs and I breathe out in ecstasy.

Nothing like a good cancer stick to start the morning.

Celty rolls her eyes and stands up. She tugs at a strand of sorrel colored hair. **[**See you later, Shizuo,**] **she turns the phone to the dog, **[**and you too, cute little Beast *insert heart here*!**] **

What are girls such a sucker for him?

I don't see anything special; he looks like any other dog out there… or actually, any other animal if you ask me.

"See ya."

She gives a small wave before leaving, closing the door softly behind her.

As soon as she's gone, I gulp down my milk, eat half the breakfast, dump the rest into Beast's bowl and swallow all my meds in record time.

Now to watch some TV…

* * *

><p>15 minutes later, I'm dressed and opening the flea's door.<p>

… Shut up. I know I said I was going to watch TV but Beast wouldn't let me!

I fling open the flimsy metal and my crazy ass dog charges in like the monster that he's named. His room is dim, with the curtains shut and only small streams of light slipping between the cracks.

I flick on the lights.

"Shizu-chan! How nice of you to come visit me."

I freeze, my arm positioned in mid-air. I thought he'd still be sleeping…

Beast barks delightedly, leaping onto the bed with ease and slipping under Izaya's arm. "Hey, little monster," he laughs.

"Don't flatter yourself, flea, I only came 'cause Beast made me."

Izaya glances dubiously at me, and then at the small dog currently licking him in every place possible. He giggles and points to him. "Big, bad Beast scared poor widdle Shizu-chan into coming?"

I don't respond to his teasing, doting to step closer instead.

What. The hell.

"Flea," I grit my teeth angrily, "Who the hell did that to you?" I gesture my hand at the general area under his chin.

"Huh?" he questions, looking honestly perplexed. "I know I'm beautiful, but there's no reason to be jealous. I was born this way."

"Fuck! No, idiot, I mean the weird… purple thing!"

"... Is it a bruise…?" Izaya mutters, raising his thin fingers to his throat, searching. The confused expression doesn't leave. He sits up slowly, achingly, and swings his feet off the bed. "Ugh," he grunts, struggling to stand. Immediately, I make my way to his side and grab his elbow before I even know what I'm doing. My body just seriously moves on its own.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Mirror," Izaya snaps, attempting to yank his arms free from my grasp. He should know well enough that he won't ever be able to unless I allow it.

It's physically impossible.

I help him to his feet. He's dressed in a plain black T-shirt and grey shorts now and he looks natural. The clothes are a little big, making him smaller than he actually is.

We make painfully slow progress to walk across the room, and impatient, I yank the annoying flea into my arms before he has a chance to protest.

"Shizu-chan," he warns, his voice dangerously low.

"Shut up, flea. It was going too slowly."

He scowls, jutting out his lower lip. We make it to the bathroom in only 20 seconds whereas, with his slow meandering progress, we would have taken an hour. That was a little bit of an exaggeration but nonetheless.

Izaya steps in front of the mirror as I flick the light switch. He examines the marks on his neck with one hand, the other clinging to the sink with a white-knuckled grip. "It's just a lesion," he mumbles. "Must have bumped it or something last night."

I wasn't sure if I should just accept that. Beast whines, reminding me of his existence and he tugs at my pant leg. I look down at him and he just looks back.

It's like he's trying to tell me something.

I wish I could speak dog.

I turn to the mirror and stare at Izaya's pale throat. He looks frail and weak, so unlike yesterday. I wonder how things could turn so bad so fast.

I meet his gaze through the reflective glass and I realize he has been staring at my eye the entire time. I'm sure he already knows what's wrong with me, and it's a little unfair that I'm still left in the dark when it comes to him.

"So, how much longer have you got?" he asks me abruptly, and I was right. He does know.

"Not sure," I shrug nonchalantly, moving my gaze back to that thin neck. The 'lesion' as he calls it, looks painful but it doesn't seem so, as he keeps stroking it absentmindedly. His red eyes are hard as crystal as he stares straight through me. "Could be a week, maybe a month."

Izaya's face twists up at my nonchalant answer but he doesn't say anything.

Maybe now's a good time.

"Is it cancer?"

Izaya turns around fully to face me. His lips are curled in a soft, secret smile. For a moment, I'm blinded not by my condition, but by fury. That the world could be so unfair, that someone so alive would have their life just yanked out from under them when they least expect it. That the one person—!

"I wish it was just cancer."

I freeze, my thoughts reeling around in my head.

… What?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Man, am I evil or what. What a place to end it!  
>… anyways, <strong>review! Review! Reviewwwwww! :D <strong>Or this story will just die right here, never to be completed…~


	10. Chapter Ten: Burned

**A/N: **Thank you for reviewing, my beautiful readers! *heart* I was thinking… that the 100th person to review gets a free one shot dedication or something? Yeah, I think that'd be good ^^ Only if you want it though. Hm, and also, I've taken everything you guys have said into account. One: The Lady Gaga references were unintentional xDD and Two: The reason I have two blocks of ANs is mostly because I like talking. Hah. :D I'm sorry for leaving you guys with such a cliffy! I have school again so times are tough (~=3=)~ now make with the magic! Idk what I'm saying. I'm a little surprised I've actually made it to chapter ten! :D Thanks for the support guys! XOXOXO Let's get those 100 reviews ne?  
>And sorry this update was delayed, I have writers block e_e And this chapter is kind of crappy... I hate my writing!<br>**{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! and crew don't belong to me. Only the story idea … and any extra characters (like Beast) belong to me! **

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><p><strong>Lithium <strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Ten

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><p>"Hey, the two monsters came to visit little o' me again?" Izaya's voice drifts out from under the covers. I can faintly see a few tufts of soft cobalt hair lying stark against the pale background of the pillow.<p>

"Tch," I snort, feigning nonchalance when his face peeks out at me. His cheeks are slightly flushed but otherwise, the marks seem to have faded and his complexion looks healthier than it did yesterday.

Speaking of yesterday…

Yeah, I'd rather not talk about it actually.

Let's just say, the flea still refuses to spill. It was so close, too.

Beast yips excitedly, his fluffy tail wagging a mile a minute. "Has your daddy been taking good care of you?" the flea coos as the hyped up dog leaps into his arms.

"If I'm the dad, does that make you the mom?" I scoff out before I realize what I just said.

Well that came out totally wrong…

"Haha," Izaya laughs, burying his cheek into Beast's soft fur. "I suppose it does!"

I rub my hands tiredly over my face, careful not to put too much pressure onto my still-sore right eye. My left is still holding up like Shinra had said. I drop my cigarette to the ground and stomp on it, even though it's only half finished. Izaya would never let me hear the end of it if I brought it even within a meter of him.

Prissy brat.

I stuff my hands into my pockets and plop down at the edge of the flea's bed. His body bounces slightly as the mattress creaks under my weight.

"You're heavier than you look," he remarks, meeting my gaze with his red one. I shrug noncommittally.

I have to admit, those bloody irises are one of the things I'll miss the most when I lose my sight.

For one, I won't know when he's lying anymore. He's got a smart mouth but his eyes always betray him. They're like windows to his soul; I can see through them like glass.

Izaya sighs, pissed off at my silence. Beast wriggles around happily in his 'mommy's' arms. "I'm trying to make conversation here. At least try to humor me."

I shrug again, tilting my face to the ceiling.

I twist around to face the flea when he bursts into a bout of those psychotic giggles. "Shizu-chan looks so cute when he's being stubborn." He sits up, and reaches over to poke a finger to my cheek before I can thwart it off. "You're still mad about yesterday aren't you?"

I just glare at him as best I can with one working eye.

"Guess that's a yes."

Then there's a stony silence.

Abruptly, Beast leaps off the bed and dashes out Izaya's open door.

Shit!

I stand up agitatedly, prepared to start a chase but Izaya grabs my belt loop, the nearest thing to his fingers. It's a little awkward I admit, and it sends a small prickling sensation that settles in the pit of my stomach.

I don't turn around, afraid that my blush would show.

The flea keeps a pointed look at the door and sure enough, Beast's fluffy head emerges again with glee dancing in his large round eyes. In his mouth is his leash.

I sigh in defeat, motioning with my hand for the dog to come over. But instead of coming to my awaiting arms, he once again leaps onto the bed and drops the black leash into Izaya's lap.

His tail thumps again my leg rhythmically.

"You want mommy to walk you?" Izaya teases, patting Beast's head offhandedly. He sends me a wink with his ruby eyes and sticks out his tongue. "Guess we know who the better parent is."

I growl, not sure why that ticked me off so much. I pick up Beast by the scruff of his neck and he whines indignantly. "Shut up, Beast. I'm walking you, not the flea."

Before either of them could protest, I continue. "And besides, _mommy's_ bedridden." I let a snide tone take over the word 'mommy'.

Izaya snarls and Beast bites my chin. I drop him immediately.

The flea throws off his covers in a most dramatic fashion and swings his legs over the sides. He stands up haughtily, folding his arms over his thin chest.

"I'm not bedridden." He says with a stubborn jut of his lower lip.

"You are. Remember the last time you went outside? Now get back in bed and I'll walk Beast."

"No, I'm coming."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am! Beast won't walk without me anyways!"

I turn to the dog sitting stubbornly right on top of Izaya's foot.

Little son of a—!

He gives me his puppy eyes and lets his little pink tongue hang out a little.

I turn to Izaya with a defeated look. He grins smugly.

"If you get sick again, Shinra will blame me." I protest half-heartedly. Like I said, I'm not one to fight a losing battle.

He's already half way to the bathroom, about to get ready. "Not if I tell him it was my idea. I need some fresh air anyways." Then the door slams closed.

Left alone with Beast in the room, I send him a heated glare which he returns with a happy wag of his tail.

Suck up.

* * *

><p>Twenty aggravating minutes later, we're out the front door of the hospital for the second time this week.<p>

It's a new record.

Beast romps around happily, his tail in the air and his nose to the ground as the flea wraps the end of the leash to his wrist. His hands are stuffed into his hoodie pocket.

I'm stuck sulking next to Izaya with 'doody duty' as he had so elegantly put it.

Basically, I'm stuck with the plastic bag and the role of picking up whatever shit Beast leaves behind. Literally.

Can I say… fuck my life?

Izaya hums cheerfully, his casual red hood shielding his porcelain features from the sun. People don't recognize him without his trademark fur jacket, he had told me. I didn't believe him until now.

Indeed, people pass by him without a second glance, but they recognize my blond hair and sunglasses even while I'm wearing a simple grey sweater, casual slim jeans and sneakers.

The flea casts me a disapproving look and tugs me to a stop. 'Bend down', his finger beckons. The silver ring glints and I momentarily see a flash of my distorted reflection in its metal band. Warily, I bend down a little, thinking he has something to tell me.

But instead, Izaya grabs my hood and flips it over my blond hair with a cute smile in place. Then he proceeds to yank off my blue tinted glasses. He stuffs it into his pockets along with his slender hands.

He continues walking like nothing happened.

He better give my glasses back later…

I squint through the crowd and run to catch up to his retreating back. I blame the heat that had rushed to my cheeks on the sun.

* * *

><p>Approximately half an hour later, the sun is at its highest point in the sky and I'm unable to stand anymore of its harsh light.<p>

"Oi, flea. Let's go back."

Izaya nods, tugging at the leash so we can pivot back in the direction of the hospital. We make slower progress getting back because Izaya is looking worn and Beast is losing his initial excitement.

It's way too bright outside for me and the prickling sensations at the back of my eyes are irritating and persistent.

I hold my hand out wordlessly to Izaya.

He slants me a demure look from under his dark lashes. "Ready for that hand holding action now?"

"Ugh! No, flea, give me the goddamn sunglasses!"

"But with the hood up you'd look like a thug!"

"I don't care, now hand them over!"

He pouts but hands them over anyways. The metal frame is a little warm from his grip.

As we near the hospital, a weird feeling settles within me. I glance to Izaya and his fiery eyes have hardened and steeled into a look of astonishment.

I turn back to the building, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Beast has his hackles raised, a low growl emitting from the back of his throat.

This explains the prickling heat I feel, I think as we dare a little closer to the building.

A siren wails from a nearby distance, making its way towards us.

Izaya and I exchange looks of shock.

The hospital is on fire.

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><p><strong>Review<strong> if you want to read more! Or the story will die here… never to be completed.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Relocated

**A/N:**I'm back（＾▽＾）How is everyone doing? So like… （；ﾟ Дﾟ） …！？OVER 2000 HITS ON MY STORY? Dayum. I didn't think I'd get that many! Teehee, thank you for the awesome reviews and alerts, faves and whatnot. I love you guys! Tytytytytytytyty to those who are regularly giving me feedback and critique and just… making me so happy~ And welcome, to the newer readers! Izaya and Shizuo are ever so grateful that you aren't ditching us and letting this story crash and burn. Make sure you leave Beast a treat in the reviews :D  
>*Hyperventilates* I really think this chapter isn't good. Oh god... AWOIRJOIWJR I'm so freaking nervous. And sick. I'm sick right now. Probably dilusional. Maybe it's getting to my head? I'm so sorry if this chapter is bad. *beats head on floor*<br>(hopefully) Happy reading!  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! and crew do not belong to me! This was written for non-profitable purposes only.<strong>

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Eleven

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><p>The hospital is on fire.<p>

That thought keeps running through my brain, not really registering until a hand creeps into mine, quivering with an unknown fear.

I turn to Izaya worriedly, and the flea is staring at the consuming bale of fire with an expression of utmost horror. The glow of the flames bask his face with an eerie reddish tint that turns his eyes orange. His pupils are dilated and his breaths coming out in short pants.

"Izaya…?" I say cautiously, peering closer at his pale features.

He doesn't seem to hear me as he drops to his knees, his face still bathed in spooky light of the consuming mass of destruction. I quickly move to stand in front of him, between him and the crumbling building before us, but he doesn't see me.

His eyes are glazed and distant and… lost.

Damn it.

Beast whimpers, pawing at Izaya's chest and trying in vain to snap him out of whatever haze that has him hostage.

The crowd of people in front of the building seems a little too small to be the entire population of people in the large hospital. I wonder vaguely how many are being destroyed and trapped in the clutches of the fire.

I hope Shinra and Celty are safe.

The wailing sirens and beams of bright headlights warn me of an impending vehicle and I quickly haul Izaya out of harm's way. He's still lost somewhere in his trance.

"Damn it, flea, snap out of it!" I whisper-shout gruffly. I don't know why I feel the need to be quiet; something about this situation just seems delicate. I shake his shoulders roughly, but not too much so. I'm mindful of my strength, knowing how frail Izaya really is.

His slender body is racked with shivers and his arms are cluttered with goose bumps. After a few minutes, he seems to come back to himself. "Sh-Shizu-chan…?" he whispers, bringing a hand up to his forehead and hissing a little in pain.

I frown, a little unsure of how to handle this.

"Yes, flea, it's me. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Rude as usual," he grumbles, avoiding my question.

Really, what's new?

I bet the amount of secrets Izaya hides from me could feed the entire population of America.

He's still shaking violently and Beast is licking his fingers with frantic yet reassuring strokes of his tongue. Hesitantly, I reach out to bring my hand to Izaya's forehead. His red eyes round with surprise.

Shit, what the hell! I glance to the fire, thinking that maybe that has something to do with the way his skin nearly fried my hand off with its heat and turn back to glare at him.

"For God's sake Izaya, you're burning up. Don't you know how to take care of yourself?"

"There's no such thing as God," Izaya sniffed pointedly, turning away. "At one point, I was the closest thing to one." The last part was a mere whisper that was nearly lost in the wind.

I wasn't sure if I heard it at all, but I decide to drop it for now. There are more important matters at hand.

"Take off your sweater, flea."

"No."

"Take it off. You're going to die of a heat stroke."

He just snorts with that annoyingly stubborn expression and refuses to even glance my way.

"I'm not wearing anything under it."

Seriously? What a prude.

"But you're a guy, aren't you? Why does it matter?"

"Maybe it doesn't to a protozoan like yourself, but I've got more class. Walking around without a shirt even if you're a man is just indecent!"

"Would you rather die or be 'indecent'?" I mimic the way he said 'indecent' in a shrill imitation of his voice and two air quotations to follow it with my fingers.

Izaya rolls his eyes. "I'm not going to die just yet, Shizu-chan. Relax."

"Damn right, you're not."

I unzip my grey sweater and shrug it off. Fiery eyes track my movement with curiosity. "What are you doing?"

"I thought you were the smart one," I retort, holding the sweater between my knees so that it doesn't touch the damp grass. I strip off my T-shirt as well.

Hell-colored eyes widen even further.

"W-what do you think you're doing, Shizu-chan?"

It's my turn to roll my eyes this time. "Lift your arms," I command.

"Huh?"

"Just do it."

Warily, he lifts them up. When they're in the air, it's more obvious how much he's shaking by the trembling of his limbs.

In one swift motion, I yank off his red hoodie. For a moment, we're both topless.

I don't deny the fact that I took a moment to ogle his naked white skin bathed with shadows from the fire.

"Shi—!" A t-shirt to the face cuts off his protest.

I slip my hoodie back on and zip it.

Izaya pulls the white shirt on wordlessly, his eyes locked onto my face. I don't understand why my heart gives a strange lurch when I see how even the well-fitting shirt manages to look loose on him.

"I suppose even a protozoan can be smart when they try," he hedges, giving me a light smile.

I scoff, reaching for a cig to put place it between my lips. I see how Izaya is about to protest and I hold up a hand to stop him. "Relax, I'm not lighting it."

"Good," he sniffs. His eyes look anywhere but at the baleful fire that consumes our hospital. Beast clambers onto his lap, his soft fur pressed against the flea's chest. "I hope Shinra and Celty are alright," he murmurs, echoing my previous worry.

"There you are!"

As if on cue, Shinra came running towards us with Celty in toe. There are smudges of dark ashes and charcoal on their faces but otherwise, they look alive and intact.

"We were so worried that you two were still caught in there!" Shinra exclaims as soon as he reaches us. Celty whips out her phone. **[**You guys aren't hurt anywhere right?**]**

I've always thought that Celty would be a really good mother. "We're fine. We weren't even in the hospital when it happened." I take my cigarette between my fingers out of habit. It must look odd that no smoke is drifting out of my mouth or the stick.

"Well actually… the flea has a crazy high fever."

I ignore the jagged look that he sent my way. Shinra and Celty immediately surround him and check him over. "Izaya! I told you not to over-exert yourself!"

"I'm fine—!"

"No you're not. Either way, you should get him away from the fire. It's hot here," I mutter. Beast leaps off Izaya in fear that he was adding more heat.

Smart dog…

Shinra turns to the scene of chaos with a frown. There's a smudge of black on one of his glasses lenses that he hasn't bothered to wipe off yet. "The firemen should be able to put it out soon, but it'll take a while for the hospital to start functioning again. You two should stay with us for a while."

"I'm fine on my own," I protest.

"Me too?" Izaya tries hopefully.

Celty frowns disapprovingly, as does Shinra. "Shizuo, I'd like to monitor your condition until the end; this isn't a case we've studied before. And as for you," he turns to the flea with an irritable expression on his childish features, "you're not fit to live on your own."

Izaya just scowls and crosses his arms. He holds them firmly to his chest to stop the shaking. His bright eyes look feverish and his face is flushed from over-heat.

My left eye chooses this moment to falter and sting, as if it's reminding me of my own issues.

"Did you grab any of my stuff?" Izaya asks suddenly. The look of hope falls when Shinra gives a shake of his head.

"We didn't have the time. We had to get out of there as soon as possible."

**[**We also had to help evacuate the other patients**] **Celty put in. Then her eyes swim. **[**I'm sure there were some we couldn't save.**]**

Her boyfriend laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You did what you could, Celty. Let the firemen handle the rest."

She nods, slightly appeased.

"Let's head to our place now. Izaya doesn't look too good." Shinra says.

"'_Izaya'_ is fine," Izaya growls dryly.

**[**No, Izaya is not.**] **Celty interjects.

I take no part in this stupidity.

"Right… so how are we getting there?" I ask, before they can continue being retarded.

"We're going to have to walk. My car was in that parking lot…" Shinra says remorsefully, adjusting his filthy glasses as he glances to the still-burning building again.

Izaya still hasn't looked at it. It's as if the flames repulse him.

"Then let's go."

We all start moving in the direction of Shinra's home, except for Izaya who struggles to his feet. "How inconsiderate, leaving me behind," he whines as he finally gets to his feet.

He stumbles a few clumsy steps forward, his legs shaking. Beast gives me a pointed look and I sigh in exasperation. Before I can lift him up for the third time, Izaya holds up a hand. "No way, I'm not letting you pick me up like some woman again."

We stare each other down for a few moments, locked in a silent battle.

Reluctantly, I turn and prepare to walk away. I'm a little bit of a sore loser, I admit.

I'm surprised when a small weight launches onto my back and pale limbs reach over my shoulders to wrap around my neck. I barely feel him there, since his weight is nothing compared to that of a vending machine, and even that doesn't faze me. "What are you doing, flea?"

"Getting a piggy back ride." His tone implies the 'obviously'.

I don't bother fighting him; I would probably lose anyways.

And we all know how much I hate fighting a losing battle.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Right, so, I totally didn't burn down that hospital just to force Iza and Shizu into living together. O.o I totally didn't. That wouldn't be very sane of me would it? *giggles* Well who burned the building? You'll see! Why is Izaya scared of fire? YOU SHALL SEE :D And want to keep reading? **REVIEW!  
><strong>Man… my chapters seem to be getting worse and worse. I don't know why you guys are still reading this story. =A=  
>-Ciaossu.<p> 


	12. Chapter Twelve: Released

**A/N: **¡Hola, chicos y chicas! ¿Cómo estas? YO ESTOY MUY MUY BIEN y… hyper. *Jumps up and down* I just ate a huge chocolate bar. Anyways, in response to a few reviews, I wrote 'ciaossu' on purpose. I know it's just ciao ^^ I wanted to make a KHR reference because I luv it. Ay. And yes, reviews give me motivation! How did you know? Lulz. So like… semester two is beginning… and I have such hard subjects T.T. Isn't that great? I'm going to fail! (someone in background: *cough* no one cares about your problems *cough*) .. =3= Eh whatever. Here is chapter twelve! Thank you for your continuous support! *heart* You guys make this possible! SHUNNNNNNNNNNNNN! SHUN THE NON-REVIEWERS, SHUNNNNN! That was a Charlie the unicorn reference in case you didn't get it.  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to me. But Beast does, so don't try usin' him in one of yo' fics. *nico*<strong>⌒(￣▽￣)ノ

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Twelve

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><p>"Make yourselves at home," Shinra says happily, as we enter his domain.<p>

I nod. "Where should I put him?"

Despite all of Izaya's protests about being 'fine' and 'alright', the flea was actually physically expended. Halfway through our trip back, his usually incessant blabbering had become winded and eventually, it slowly trailed off into silence. He had fallen asleep on my back.

**[**Follow me**] **Celty says with a grim expression. She leads me into a hallway and into the room to our immediate right. The place is decent, with a large comfy looking bed and a window. Unfortunately, there isn't a bathroom.

**[**This is our guestroom. Just put Izaya down on the bed; Shinra will come in to check on him and make sure he's alright**] **

I nod, reaching around to pull Izaya by the waist and lower him to the mattress. His eyelids don't even flutter as his body hits the surface. A sheen of sweat lines his pale throat.

"Celty…" I say, before the young girl can leave the room. She looks at me questioningly.

"What's wrong with him?"

Celty bites her lip, not meeting my gaze. She brushes back a few strands of dark hair away from Izaya's face in an almost tender fashion. Her lashes lowered, casting shadows on her cheeks, strands of auburn hair shifting down to block her from my view. She starts typing again, her fingers flying over the keys. **[**He always acts like he's so strong, doesn't he?**] **She muses, looking down at him with a sort of fondness. **[**But he's not as good of an actor as he thinks.**]**

I wait, unsure of what she's getting at.

**[**But it's not up to me to tell you. Izaya will tell you when he's ready. He's got too much pride for his own good.**]**

I growl in frustrated understanding. Stupid flea. "Kida said the same thing."

How is it fair that he knows everything there is to know about me, but not me, him? Granted, I'm not the one who told him about my condition, but he knows nonetheless.

What could possibly be the reason for him to hide it? I'm not in much of a position to discriminate. I feel the beginnings of a headache, as I stare at Izaya's unconscious form. Celty gives me a soft pat on the shoulder along with a reassuring smile. She tugs me out of the room along with her and Izaya is left alone in the dim room. I want to turn back, but I don't. Beast slips out behind me, abandoning his silent vigil from next to his proclaimed mother.

* * *

><p>Ugh… why me?<p>

I lay on the couch feeling extremely put off. My long legs hang over the other end slightly and Beast takes up some of the room above my head.

I knew nothing good would come with owning a dog. What was Kasuka thinking?

"Sorry, Shizuo," Shinra apologizes meekly, throwing a thin blanket over my body before walking off.

"Doesn't matter," I grumble, even though it kind of does. The light blue blanket barely reaches to my knees. I try stretching it a little further; it's a futile effort, really, and I end up ripping the fabric in half. The tearing sound makes Shinra pop his head back into the living room curiously and he makes a face.

"What?" I snap, pissed off at the world.

The young doctor flinches and I feel bad for being so harsh. Sighing, I say, "Sorry, I just… couldn't control my strength, you know?" That's not entirely true. I just felt like ripping it.

What he doesn't know can't hurt him.

Or so they say.

At this moment, Izaya stumbles out of the guest room looking tired and exhausted, reminding me why I'm on the couch in the first place. I sit up, giving him a once over with my blurred vision. Beast magically wakes up (it's like he has some sort of flea-alarm built into his brain) and barrels into Izaya. Said flea picks him up with a weak smile. "Did you miss mommy that much?" he coos.

"Izaya, you should be in bed," Shinra scolds with his hands on his hips, though, his eyes widen a little at the term 'mommy'.

"The room is too cold," Izaya says dramatically, moving to flop down on the couch next to me. I nearly reel back in surprise when he drops his head on my shoulder, his hand calmly stroking Beast's flank.

I didn't notice the knowing look Shinra sent the sick boy.

Shinra bids us goodnight with a sly smile that sends an odd shudder through my spine. I turn to Izaya, whose dark hair is the only thing visible to me at the moment.

"Go back to bed," I tell him, trying to sound cold when I'm actually feeling warm. "I want to sleep."

"Just… give me a few moments," Izaya whispers back and his tone startles me. He sounds broken and worn. It shocks me into a meek silence.

The large porch door in front of us gives us a generous view of the nighttime skies. A shining trail of a star shoots across the wide expanse, only to be demolished by a dark looming cloud. The moon glances at us for a brief moment before being swallowed once again. I think I see a sliver of her pale cheek peeking through but I can't be sure. My eyes— eye, are forever playing tricks on me.

I look down at Izaya's head, his hair looking almost grey in places where it sheens.

I wonder to myself, what are we doing?

Why am I not moving away?

And most of all... Why does this feel so right?

I see the tip of Beast's golden streaming tail flick back and forth in contentment as Izaya's slender fingers work through his fur.

I turn back to the window. Why should I deny myself a little contentment in the midst of all this disappointment?

It's only been about fifteen minutes, but it feels so much longer. I find it so odd that the flea is so quiet. Worried, I murmur, "Izaya, come on, get up. Go sleep."

He's motionless, silent. And it stirs panic within my heart.

From this angle, I can't see the rise and fall of his chest. "Hey, Izaya…?" I take him by the shoulders and he flops limply down into the crook of my other arm. I thank God that he's just sleeping when I lean in to hear his steady breathing. I carry him, for the third time, in my arms bridal style and drop him onto the large, soft bed. His small body sinks into the soft covers and he instinctively curls around them. Giving him one last look, I prepare to make my way out of the room and back to my uncomfortable sanctuary when a hand shoots out to grab mine.

Warily, I pivot, prepared to see a smirking Izaya, goading me for being so soft. But when I watch his peaceful face, I know that he's still asleep, thin fingers laced with mine in a surprisingly tight grip. I try prying them off but he whimpers and tugs me closer to him.

I sigh in defeat. Why must he always win?

I stand over him for a moment, staring at our hands. My larger, calloused one is now holding his back in a firm grip. I memorize the feel and how perfectly we fit together.

I'll just stay for a little bit. I'll go back to the couch after he lets go.

That's what I thought to myself, as I lightly shifted his body to make room for mine. Carefully, I lay down next to him with a berth of space between us. I resist the urge to stuff a pillow there for good measure.

I shift until I'm comfortable, and I lay on my back. I can only barely make out Izaya's still form in the dark room, his pale face only slightly visible as his head is tilted to face me.

'Just a little longer', I had told myself, 'just until he wants to let go.'

But he never did.

And so, that was the first night Izaya and I slept together.

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><p><strong>AN: **Eek, sorry for the short chapter, I'm being incredibly lazy these days. I just did some of my homework, and I'm going to do the rest now. As usual, **review** if you don't want to see this story die! Ta ta for now, friends! And thank you for all the lovely comments that I got for chapter eleven. I was so pleased that I just had to write chapter twelve now~! See? Reviews really do pay off. By the way just in advance: by the end of the story, I'll be erasing all the previous ANs and extra stuff; they're only necessary now, since I need to talk to you guys (in order to stay sane).  
>- S2 -Thia<p> 


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Apprehended

**A/N: **Hello, everyone. Lookie! *points at review count* we're almost at the 100 mark! You know what that means right? Right. THIS MEANS A SMEXY, LEMON-FILLED ONE-SHOT! Omg! So like… do you guys want that or not? O-o I'm not sure. It's up to you. I'm totally cool with not writing one. Anyways, I am taking any story requests from any of you beloved readers. *blush* You guys flatter me too much… I keep re-reading my chapters wondering why people are actually enjoying this, but I don't get it. Ah, well… enjoy chapter thirteen! Thanks for stopping by.  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to Forsythia Sky. Darn… <strong>（￣へ￣）

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Thirteen

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><p>It's so warm.<p>

For some reason, I reach out blindly in through the darkness of sleep and embrace the amazing heat. It gladly complies and sinks comfortably into my arms.

I don't ever want to let it go.

I feel so blissfully content, even while there's nothing but blackness surrounding me and my mind is still fogged and lost in its own world, abandoning me until I awaken.

I haven't felt this warm before.

I don't try to comprehend anything, letting myself go just for this one time. I'm a sucker for comfort; I'm selfish and I take what I want. This warmth isn't about to escape me.

I feel myself protest when a sharp sting of bright pain sparks somewhere in me and I unwillingly recover my senses as I'm woken from my slumber. The warmth is kind of uncomfortable now.

"Wha…?"

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is a pair of sharp yet glazed ruby orbs staring down at me.

Don't you hate it when reality catches up to you?

I am about to sit up in alarm when I realize our current position. Izaya is straddling my hips, face looming over mine, with his flick blade pointed under my chin. I swallow impulsively, causing the metal to scrape against my skin and drawing a string of fresh blood.

The flea is evidently still half asleep as he doesn't seem to know what he's doing. His eyes are locked with mine yet he doesn't recognize my face. "Not anymore," he whispers, making a short broken sound that's akin to a sob. He tears up and I feel my eyes widen.

What the hell?

He's trembling now. The sun's slanting rays don't touch his features, leaving them in the dark. His knife glints and sends a sharp burn through my only working iris.

His grip on the weapon tightens, causing it to press further into my throat. I barely feel it, so it doesn't concern me. It will soon though, if he goes any deeper. Even I would have trouble healing from a wound straight through the neck.

His other hand grips at my borrowed t-shirt tightly.

I wonder what demons he fights whenever I look away.

I sit up slowly, watching as he backs up in surprise. I grab his hand holding the knife and he's unprepared for whatever I'm up to.

As I sit up, I keep my firm grip on the trembling arm and I pull his face closer. I rest my forehead on his.

I can feel his sharp intake of a breath as well as I can hear it, as his lips are only an inch away from mine and the tips of our noses are a hair's breadth away from brushing.

"Stupid flea, you still have a fever."

My voice seems to shake him out of his groggy state of mind. Carmine eyes blink confusedly for a moment, glancing around him like he doesn't know how he got here.

Surprised, his gaze finally settles on me. "Shizu-chan…?"

"You normally sleep armed?" I ask calmly with an arch of my blond eyebrow. I hate how hoarse my voice sounds from the night of disuse.

Izaya flushes further, and disentangles his heated limbs from me. He slips the knife back into his long sleeve and his gaze is lowered to the sheets. He worries at his bottom lip, chewing the soft flesh mercilessly.

It's a few moments before he deigns to reply. "You don't?"

I give a short laugh. But oddly, I'm not sure if he's joking. Not after what just happened.

"Seriously, flea, what happened to you? First the fire and now I get a knife to my throat?"

"I get edgy when I wake up and find someone in bed with me!" he argues defensively, folding his arms over his thin chest.

Heat rushes to my face and I sputter incoherently. It's not like anything happened! Shit, he makes it sound so wrong. "You're the one who wouldn't let me leave!"

It's not like I couldn't have gotten away, what with my strength and his feebleness, but that's beside the point.

It's totally irrelevant. Totally.

Izaya shoots me a strange look that has his lips quirking to the side a bit and his eyebrows scrunched up a little.

It's kind of cute.

I did not just think that.

My face flushes further when I realize that Izaya was the warmth that I was holding on to last night. I pray to God that he doesn't remember anything. Or at least, I hope he won't mention it if he does.

The flea gives a very flea-like smirk, going back to his old self as soon as he notices my discomfort. Evil bastard… "So, how was I?" he purrs, leaning forward a little. His dark bangs cascade into his eyes at the momentum.

"Huh?"

"In bed." He rolls his eyes in a very superior motion, acting like it was obvious. "How was I?"

"HUH?" I roar in disbelief, face heating up spectacularly and the red tinge surrounds me once again. Before I know it, I've tackled Izaya and we tumble off the bed in a tangle of pale and tan limbs. His happy giggles ring out through the small room.

Soon enough, the red haze subsides and I realize I've pinned the flea down beneath me; his smaller body trapped beneath my own. He's smiling like the big masochist that he is and I can't help but scowl.

It only occurs to me now how easily he could have avoided my attack.

I have a feeling my face will become permanently red.

I roll off of him immediately and his laughter bubbles up again. He sounds breathless and cheerful.

I suppose if I could make him laugh like that, it was worth the embarrassment.

I turn to glare at him, pretending that I hate how happy he sounds. In reality, I'm elated. He in turn tilts his own face to look at mine.

For a moment, we both sober up, our gazes locked.

It could have been a second, but it could have been an eternity.

All I know is that I don't want it to end.

I want to be able to see him smile, watch those red eyes sparkle with mischief and see every emotion that passes through his features. I want to watch over him and protect him.

I know it's a little ironic, considering all the times I've felt like strangling him but it's true. I do want to protect him.

But how can I when my eye is a ticking bomb waiting to sputter and fail me?

And most of all, how can I when I have no idea what I'm fighting?

"Shizu-chan," Izaya whispers, bloody eyes boring straight into my soul.

He tentatively reaches a pale hand and I wait, wondering what he's about to do. He looks like he's fighting a battle with himself as those dark eyebrows furrow once again.

The hand is millimeters from my cheek before it retreats back like the air around me had burned him. He quickly gets up and leaves the room on unsteady feet, leaving me lying next to his bed, puzzled.

I raise my own hand hesitantly to my face, trailing two fingers down the neglected skin.

It doesn't seem to burn me. Then again, my perception of pain is absolutely monstrous.

* * *

><p>Breakfast is, how do I put this…<p>

Insanely awkward.

Absolutely, fucking insanely awkward.

Why, you ask?

Well first off, Shinra starts off the beautiful sunny morning with a, "Good morning, Izaya, Shizuo. What were those noises I kept hearing in Izaya's room this morning?"

And second, Izaya refuses to meet my questioning gaze. And when Shinra catches my flushed face, he immediately jumps to his insane conclusions, leaping to his feet.

"You two…!" he sputters, and Celty stands up too, holding up her two hands pleadingly. He doesn't notice her (for once). "TELL ME YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX!"

He's so Earth-shakingly loud that I'm sure our neighbor's neighbor must have heard him. Hell, China probably heard him.

Izaya and I both turn beet red and I feel like I'm about to strangle him. We both start sputtering out individual protests and Celty is looking frantically back and forth, unsure of what to do.

"Like hell I'd take advantage of him when he's all sick and stuff!" I shout indignantly. Izaya, for an odd reason, has a murderous glare fixed on Shinra. I stop, mid-sentence to watch him carefully.

"Shinra, you of all people should know that I'd never do anything like that," he bites out.

"I-I… that's not what I meant. I mean like, Shizuo's so strong! Yeah, he's so strong, there's no way you could fight him off."

"WHAT?" I snap, bending my fork in half.

"Uh-um… I mean," Shinra's forehead hits the table next to his plate of eggs. "Argh!" He tousles his brown hair agitatedly.

**[**Please, guys, stop fighting**]** Celty pleads. And after that, we all shut up and tried to eat.

So, yes. Breakfast became excruciatingly awkward after this. With Izaya ignoring Shinra's apologies, me trying not to feel weird whenever Izaya so much as glances over and trying to figure out why I felt so disappointed when Izaya said he would never do anything like 'that'.

Um, not that I want to or anything...

I stand up abruptly, interrupting Shinra's long strung, apologetic speech. My wooden chair scrapes across the floor loudly and everyone glances to me. Not looking up, I mumble, "Going out for a smoke," before proceeding to stalk out the front door. Beast, having woken up from his deep slumber on the uncomfortable couch, trots after me.

Lately, I've been taking the cowards way out of every tight situation thrown at me.

All I've been doing is running away from my problems. I wonder what people would say if they see me now.

Instead of Heiwajima Shizuo, legendary embodiment of violence, I'd be Heiwajima Shizuo… the coward.

I suppose it has a nice ring to it.

...Not.

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><p>Slightly longer chapter this time ^^ Make sure you <strong>review! <strong>So close to 100, come on, come on!


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Predetermined

**A/N: **Yay, it's over 100! *cheers* Thanks everyone! I'm so very, very grateful! So, about that one shot… It probably won't happen. =_= I just found out how much I detest writing lemon and I have absolutely 0 talent in writing it. - Urgh! Gomenasai! *bows deeply and hits head on floor* But to make up for it, I'll willingly start a different story? I dunno, some multi-chaptered one I guess. But I won't be putting anything up until I finish Lithium cause for one: if I do, I'll forget about this story. Two: I have a lot of homework. Three: I don't have any plot bunnies =3= Anyways, thank you SO MUCH SEOIJ AOWRIJ for your amazing reviews! I come home to find that I have 105 reviews waiting and I'm giddy with excitement. So thanks! And without further ado, here is chapter fourteen~

This would have been posted up sooner if it weren't for the uncooperative Fanfiction. *irritated*

**{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! is not owned by me … ****ლ****(**ಠ**_**ಠ**ლ****)**

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><p><strong>Lithium <strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Fourteen

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><p>I breathe in the crisp morning air and light a stick of my addiction. The nicotine does nothing to soothe me for once, rather, it frustrates me that not even a cigarette calms me any longer.<p>

I exhale a cloud of filthy smoke in a loud, angry huff. My hand around the porch rail clenches and snaps the rusted metal into two clean pieces. A flock of small birds fly off at the sound, taking off into the air.

I clamp my lips over the small stick and fumble in my pocket for my cell phone. I'm grateful that I had remembered to slip it in before we went for the walk; otherwise, the thing would be burnt to a crisp, along with the deceased hospital.

The metal is cool in my hands. I flip it open and press the ON button with unpracticed fingers. I squint as the screen flares to life.

Almost immediately, it starts beeping and spazzing out at a crazy pace, the small machine twitching in my grasp.

I feel a vein throb on my temple. "Annoying, annoying, annoying…" I grumble, resisting my primal urges to crush it. I can just faintly make out the word 'Dollars' in its bold print but that was all. I don't bother reading the rest of the text. For one, I _can't_ read it. And two, I couldn't care less what those people want from me.

I slip the obnoxiously yellow device back into my pocket and lean back against Shinra's house. I'm careful to stay within the safe shadows, making sure that not a single ray of light can scorch my already abused cornea.

'You know better than anyone else that I wouldn't do anything like _that_!'

Izaya's voice rings through my head, over and over, and I can't help but scowl and run an irritable hand through my bleached hair. Why did that bother me so much anyways?

It's definitely not because of the fact that I actually wanted to.

It must be because of the way he said it.

His face had been twisted into a look of utmost horror and betrayal that was uncalled for, given the carefree subject.

I don't understand it at all.

I growl under my breath, staring at the dog sitting at my feet. Beast glances up at me with worried brown eyes, his golden ear flopping to one side as his head tilts at a sharp angle.

I nudge him with my foot. "Go back inside. The flea must be looking for you."

He doesn't budge, merely poking that pink tongue out again.

Stupid animal…

"Ugh! You know what's wrong with the flea, don't you Beast?"

Beast whines in agreement, getting up to pace back and forth. His tail lashes agitatedly.

"Don't suppose you could hint at what that is?"

The dog yips and starts running around in a circle, chasing his own tail.

Shit, what the hell am I doing, talking to an animal?

And such a stupid one at that.

I give Beast a dirty look before resuming my original moping stance. That's when my stupid phone starts ringing loudly and obnoxiously.

"Fuck," I mumble, not reaching to take it out. The shrill sound scrapes at my ears and fury starts to build up within me. Reluctantly, I'm forced to pull it out.

I stare at the glowing screen for a long moment. The ringtone is a stupid pop song that came with the phone when I first got it. I hadn't bothered to change it.

Why had I gotten a phone in the first place?

Oh right… Kasuka.

I glance briefly to Beast, whose ears have pressed down flat, avoiding the obtrusive sound.

UNKNOWN NUMBER, the screen blares. The fuck? Who could be calling me?

Only to stop the ringing in my ears, I press ANSWER and bring the stupid thing to my ear.

"What?" I growl, as soon as the ear piece is brought close enough.

"…" The other end is silent, except for a small buzzing sound in the distant background.

"I'm hanging up."

But before I can snap the lid shut, a gravelling voice finally deigns to reply.

"…Heiwajima Shizuo?"

"Yeah," I say cautiously.

"I've been trying to reach you for a long time."

"Well, now you've reached me. What do you want?"

I hear a soft chuckle from the receiver that chills me more than Izaya's most maniacal giggles. "You're just how I imagined you to be. I've heard a lot about you, Heiwajima-san."

I grunt, thinking that maybe this could be one of Tom's clients. Though that theory couldn't really work, since most of them are scared shitless of me.

"Right," I say, sounding calmer than I actually am. "Get to the point?"

There's a pause. "… I heard the hospital burned down. Shame really, there were a lot of…" As the voice continued, I felt my hand holding the phone shake and I lifted the thing away from my ear. I stare at the screen, disbelieving.

Slowly, I bring it back. "…jima-san? Heiwajima-san?" I could practically hear an infuriating smirk upon the man's lips.

"Why?" I snarl.

"Why what, Heiwajima-san?"

"Don't 'Heiwajima-san' me. Why did you burn down the hospital? What do you want from me?"

A long silence overtakes the other end. I almost thought they had hung up, but all too soon, the voice speaks again.

"Oya, it seems I've received some unreliable information," he says simply.

"Hah?"

Beast emits a low growl, staring straight at the yellow device in my hands. I shush him with a light kick. I drop my long-since finished cig and stomp so hard that a crack appears on the porch.

"Some misleading information claimed that you were brainless and only knew how to fight."

The fuck? I bring the phone away to stare at it for the third time before replying. "Seems like you need to get yourself a better source."

"Ah, but there lies the problem," mysterious man drawls.

I wait for him to go on.

"You see, I used to have the best information source in all of Tokyo. But sadly, not all good things last."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. It takes me a moment before I'm able to reply. "I still don't know what you want."

The chilling laughter erupts from the receiver and my face twists in disgust.

"It seems my information wasn't all that inaccurate," he chuckles, "Is it that hard for you to figure out?"

"Spit it out or I'm hanging up."

"Impatient aren't we, Heiwajima-san."

My foot starts tapping. "Well?"

"… Wasn't the burning hospital enough of a hint?"

"So you did burn it down!" I shout, immediately lowering my voice before anyone inside can hear.

"Maybe," the man said.

"That's it, I'm hanging up."

"Don't you want to hear what I want?"

"You're clearly not about to tell me, with all your games and what not."

He laughs again and I hold the receiver away for a bit so I don't have to hear it.

"It should have been plain to you, but you are a protozoan after all, from what my sources say."

"Your sources need to fucking die," I snap.

"Oya?" I hear him smirk again. Goddamn bastard. He's more annoying than the flea. "As I told you already, my information sources are currently not very reliable."

I hate the way he says 'information sources'.

"So what I want from you? It should be obvious. I hear you're currently housing a very reliable information source."

I choke, sputtering on plain air. It can't be… this guy… burned down a hospital looking for an information source?

Information source… an informant?

…Izaya?

As the pieces click into place within my simplistic mind, my shaking fingers clench tighter around the warming metal of my phone.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I try to play the 'clueless' card.

"Don't try that. I've given you a taste of what will happen if things don't go the way I want."

"Get another 'information source'. This one is out of commission," I spit out between my clenched teeth.

"I wanted to do this peacefully, Heiwajima-san."

"Fuck, peaceful. You burned down a fucking hospital. If I ever get a glimpse of you bastard, you're dead."

"He trusts you. It should be easy for you to bring him to me. Come to the Shinjuku Hotel, Room 29, in exactly 10 days from now. Think on it; your brother's life depends on your decision."

The line goes dead.

The phone slips to the floor and the soft clacking sound reverberates through my shaken soul. My brother… Kasuka…

I slump to the floor, hitting my head against the bricks of the wall. Fuck.

Fuck!

Just then, pain explodes in my left eye and sends my spiraling into a pit of darkness. But all I can think about is Kasuka. Izaya.

It should be obvious who I should choose.

But why isn't it?

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><p><strong>Want more? Review! Don't let this die here. I'm so sorry if it's bad, I wrote this while I was in a terrible mood. (Fucking stupid teacher...) <strong>


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Blinded

**A/N: **So like… oh my god. *horrified* I get back home from volunteer and my sister did me a big favor and posted the draft for me. OTL I hated it and I was planning on RE-WRITING IT! So yes, THANKYOU Rayne. Thankyou. -_- *totally NOT amused in the SLIGHTEST!* NOW YOU GUYS SAW MY HORRIBLE HORRIBLE CHAPTER *rips hair out with crazed look in eyes* Here is the real chapter fifteen. I'm so depressed. Please, if you actually read the other one, PLEASE PLEASE FORGET IT EXISTED. Holy jeez I'm gonna kill her when she gets back from school. (Why, why did I leave my account signed in?)

Actual AN: Oh my goodness *o* Your reviews really make my day. I was truly in the most horrid mood the other day and reading back on chapter fourteen… I realize how badly written it is. Ugh… I'm sorry T-T And holy shit! **Crimsonfire3** thank you for the beautiful fanart! *heart* I'm so grateful and flattered! For those of you who haven't seen it… :D  
>http:crimsonfire3(dot)tumblr(dot)com/post/17417212879/any-of-you-guys-reading-lithium-by-forsythia  
>Go see it! It's so well drawn~!<br>Thank you thank you thank you crimsonfire3!  
>Oh and I forgot to mention… Beast is a Golden Retriever ^^ That's generally the breed for seeing-eye dogs.<br>**{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to me. ****｡ﾟ****(****ﾟ****Д****｀ﾟ****)****ﾟ｡**

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Fifteen

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><p>A persistent voice from somewhere outside of my head screams for my attention.<p>

I don't want to wake up.

I want to stay here, forever ungrounded by my horrible life.

Sadly, I don't have a choice. I dragged out of the pleasant darkness and like cold water splashed upon my face, I'm greeted with a new kind of dark.

The painful kind.

I sit up, gasping for clean air. My head spins at a nauseating pace and for the first time, I experience what it's like being sick.

I hate it.

If this is what it's like being a regular human, I want nothing of it.

I raise a trembling hand to my forehead, my head pounding, blocking out the muffled voices around me.

I don't hear anyone but myself.

I'm alone.

I suppose that's nothing new, since (though it is a sad fact), I have always been alone.

My monstrous strength and temper are the most horrid combination, and it's a fact that people find hard to accept. No one dares to breach the border between humanity and a natural phenomenon.

I barely feel the feathery touches of the people around me as they brush and caress against my skin. It's sad. I have a horrible perception of pain, but at the same time, it's hard for me to feel pleasure.

If one wants to hurt me, a slash over my heart would barely suffice.

It only makes sense that a touch so breezy and soft would be unfelt by me.

Life is cruelly unfair like that.

Slowly, after a few moments of heavy breathing and gathering my wits, my senses begin to return to me.

All but one.

I straighten up a little, and I can finally hear the voices of those around me.

Shinra's voice comes first. "Shizuo? Shizuo! Can you hear me?" he practically yells into my ear.

I feel a silent presence by my right that I assume is Celty.

Reaching out a hand blindly, aiming to push Shinra's face away, I only manage to whack him in the neck. The motion chokes him mid-sentence.

"I can hear you. You're too close."

"You were staring into space for so long!" he whines. "How are you feeling?"

Something hard and plastic hits me in the cheek when I attempt to locate Shinra. Automatically, a hand shoots out to push it out of the way.

It's silent in the room for a moment and I wonder what I had done wrong.

Wait… Hard, plastic… Celty's phone?

Well, crap. I imagine the hurt look in her face and a swell of guilt overwhelms me.

"Shizuo," Shinra's voice says disapprovingly.

It's so frustrating that I can't tell where he's standing.

I swivel on the hard surface of the couch where I'm seated and my legs hit the floor. I feel unbalanced for a moment, wondering where the floor is when I realize that I'm touching it.

"Sorry, Celty," I say. "I can't read it."

There are tiny clicking sounds and I assume she's typing. Sorrow curls uncomfortably in my stomach and I'm unsure of what to do.

"Shizuo…" Shinra groans. I picture him yanking off his glasses and rubbing at his face tiredly.

"Yeah… I'm blind."

A clattering sound indicates the dropping of yet another cell phone over the course of one day.

* * *

><p>"I've checked over all your vitals and everything seems to be the way it should be. All except your eyes of course…"<p>

"Great," I reply nonchalantly. I sit quietly on Shinra's hard examination table while his footsteps bustle around the room. Celty's silent presence remains by my side, unsure.

"Where's the flea?" I ask abruptly, only now realizing his absence. Though, I can't say that I'm looking forward to seeing (you know what I mean) him again just yet, for he brings the painful reminder of Kasuka again.

"Sleeping," Shinra tosses over his shoulder. Then it's silent again in the cold examination room.

Then suddenly, a hand reaches out to grab mine. Shocked, I whip around to search for the source.

It's a little idiotic when the only possibility could be Celty. I can still hear Shinra rummaging around a few feet away.

A thin, soft finger dragging itself across the back of my more calloused hand calls for my attention. The patterns spell out the words,

I-M S-O-R-R-Y.

I grab Celty's hand in mine, giving it a brief squeeze. "You have no reason to be."

She pauses, and all I hear is the hitch in her breathing. Oh mother of God, I hope she isn't crying…

I have no idea how to deal with a crying girl.

D-O-E-S I-T H-U-R-T? she traces.

"No," I reply. And it doesn't. It's like my eyes have reverted back to the way they were before, only without the sight part.

A loud 'bam' slams against the wooden door with immense force. The hinges tremble as loud scraping ensues on its surface.

Shinra laughs and I hear Celty's breathing change as she giggles as well.

Footsteps march over to the entrance to swing it open and just as it does, something rams into my chest.

"Beast?" I gape, fumbling a little to find his head before giving him a few gentle strokes.

"He's the one who told us you passed out on the porch," the young doctor muses fondly.

H-E S S-O L-O-Y-A-L

I grunt, giving Beast a few more strokes to his flank. The silky fur threads through my fingers and I memorize the feel.

"I thought he was Izaya's dog, but now I'm not so sure…"

"He's mine," I say, a little too quickly.

"Really? Well, Izaya is always saying how he's the mom—."

"He's mine," I repeat firmly. "Kasuka gave him to me."

Kasuka… the thought of my little brother makes me wince and I'm filled with despair. While my brother is being held hostage by a creepy man, I'm stuck waiting for ten more days before I can save him.

I should have asked for the guy's name…

"Anyways, you need to go get some rest Shizuo. Want me or Celty to take you?"

"No. I'll be fine. I need to get used to this anyways." I slide confidently off the table into a stand. "See? Perfectly fine." I lie.  
>Now to find the exit…<p>

Woof! Beast barks from somewhere across the room. I feel two pairs of eyes on me and thankfully, they remain silent.

Slowly, I try to pinpoint my dog's location by ear and soon enough, my outstretched fingers touch a hard surface. I lower them to grasp the doorknob.

"Perfectly fine," I say again as I leave the room. "Take me to the couch, Beast."

Woof! He barks again, scrabbling to go a little ahead of me and I leave my fingers trailing across the rough material of the wall. I go slowly, careful not to trip on anything.

Beast gives an occasional call so that I know exactly where he is. It's a little like Marco Polo, dog form.

It's slow progress but then eventually, Beast's paw-steps become silent and I figure he's stopped in front of the couch. I make my way over until my knee hits the edge of something, and I fall forward onto the soft material. I roll over onto my back, something lumpy under my head.

Wait, soft?

The couch is hard as a fucking rock.

Where the hell has the stupid dog taken me?

Well, actually, if this is Shinra's bed, I don't care that much. But I'm pretty sure Celty shares it with him, so that would be a little rude of me.

But that assumption is proved wrong in the next 2 seconds. A muted mumble and a yawn emits from somewhere quite near me.

The lump under my head ripples and I something kicks me in the face.

"Fuck!" I growl, sitting up.

The blankets rustle. Beast's soft fur presses against my arm and then disappears as he walks further away.

"Shizu-chan?"

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry, I know it's short. But I'm a little short on time. Please review or this story will die. Once again, forget the other one ever existed. R.I.P. Rayne -_- <strong>


	16. Chapter Sixteen: Incepted

**A/N: **Thank you everyone for sticking with me, and reviewing. Chapter fifteen is so horrible I want to puke o_O… Love you all! Here is a (failed) attempt to redeem myself. *Bows* Please forgive me. Also, I had trouble coaxing my CHANGED password from my goddamn sister. WHY GOD. OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD DO I HAVE TO BE RELATED TO HER?  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! in no way belongs to me. This was written for entertainment purposes only! <strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Sixteen

* * *

><p>"Shizu-chan?"<p>

I freeze like a deer caught in headlights. Thankfully though, my idiotic monster of a dog distracts the flea with his presence by leaping on him and attempting to lick every crevice on his face.

Though, that's only what I'm assuming.

The rustling sounds of the blanket and Izaya's muffled laughter are my only clue as to what is going on.

But the distraction doesn't last long. Too soon, I feel his scorching sunset gaze burning holes in the back of my head and I warily turn around. Without any noises other than his muted breathing, it's hard to pinpoint his exact location.

"What are you doing in here?" Izaya asks slowly, cautiously, unknowingly giving me a clue to his whereabouts. "You passed out didn't you? Are you alright?"

I mumble something under my breath. Even I don't know what I said.

I hear a little shuffling sound and suddenly, a warm, small hand wraps around my bicep. "What are you looking at?"

Crap.

I'm still too new at this; my ears aren't adept. I feel his cool breath slide across the thin fabric of my shirt as he peers closely at me.

I imagine how his dark brows would be tightened, lips pressed together in confusion.

I reach out my other hand to blindly feel for his head. After a few moments of grasping, my searching fingers land on his cheek and I swivel to face him. I was off by a few meters.

It must have been odd how I was staring at a random spot on the wall, thinking it was his face.

Being the clever information broker he is, Izaya inhales sharply as he immediately deduces the information. "You're blind," he states.

"Yeah…" I mutter, only now realizing how my hand rests on his warm skin. I pretend not to notice how he unconsciously leans into my touch.

I retract my hand and set my unseeing gaze elsewhere.

The awkward atmosphere in the room is suffocating. I know I should get up and leave, but I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea of the sinister raven watching me fumble my way out.

Even I have some sense of pride.

Beast licks my finger sympathetically.

'I don't want you sympathy!' I want to scream at him. It's his fault I'm in this situation in the first place.

"Did Shizu-chan come to sleep with me?" Izaya teases.

"Wha—! No! It was the stupid ass dog that brought me here!"

"Right," he giggles, poking my cheek. I slap away his hand, or at least, I try to. I miss, only waving away thin air.

Then, he slides away from my side and I feel the blankets shifting underneath me. The silky material slides under my palm, reminding me of Beast's fur.

Izaya's sleepy voice comes from a little farther away this time. "I'm tired. I suppose Shizu-chan can sleep here for tonight."

Don't do this. Don't make it harder to betray you.

His breath evens out as he drifts off. I sit, surrounded by my personal darkness, in stunned silence. I hear Beast's footsteps leap off the bed and down the hallway before I can call him back.

What do I do?

I can always stumble my way back to the couch; I know I'd eventually find my way there. But do I really want to go? I mean, the thing is hard as a fucking rock and here I am, sitting on a comfy bed.

The answer should be quite obvious yet I shift indecisively.

Though admittedly, things these days are never in black and white. Many things sit blandly in the grey territory, belonging to neither side. It's up to me to choose which.

I listen to Izaya's calm, soft breathing. I wonder if the room is light or dark.

Then I think of Izaya himself. His carefree attitude though whatever ailment he has hinders his everyday life. His blazing eyes that I'm already starting to miss. And that smile. Not his arrogant smirks and cynical twists, but the real one. The one that accompanies a bout of joyous laughter.

But then there's also Kasuka. My sweet, emotionless deadpan of a brother that I love more than anything else. The one who doesn't flinch at the sight of my anger; not even that one time when he was on the receiving end of it.

Then again, Izaya has never feared me either.

I think back on that eerie voice emitting from my abandoned cell phone and I recall what he said. 'Think on it. Your brother's life depends on your decision.'

And he wants an information source…

There must be a reason he's trading a life for a life. If no harm is going to befall Izaya, he wouldn't have to go to such measures.

My head throbs as it tries to process all this at once. I run a hand through my bleached hair. The roots must be turning brown again… I'll have to re-dye it.

Izaya rolls over in his sleep, mumbling something incoherent.

I sigh, my breath coming out in a big, dry heave. I'm not one to form plans; Izaya is more the type to do so. I'm more of a jump-in-headfirst kind of guy. Exhaustion is numbing me and I figure that maybe I can think clearer once I get some sleep.

Reluctantly, I feel for where the other pillow is, my fingers unintentionally brushing against something soft. Izaya's hair? I feel my way gradually and I stretch myself out along the comfy mattress.

This isn't so bad.

I nod to myself, feeling a little ridiculous after doing so.

After everything that has happened these past few days, the tiredness is mind-numbing. I feel my eyelids drooping down without seeing them. It's disconcerting and I almost flick them open again.

Calming my heart rate, I measure my breathing along with Izaya's as I drift off.

Tonight, I have my first dream in months.

* * *

><p>I sit up abruptly, knocking my forehead against someone else's. The voice that whines out a pathetic 'Ow!' is so familiar, yet I've never heard it with that intonation before.<p>

"What are you doing, sleeping out here? You're going to catch a cold!" The voice exclaims.

I don't even notice that my eyes are still closed. Slowly, I pry them open and I'm astounded by everything in sight.

Sight.

Why? Why can I see?

Maybe… everything has been a dream?

Hah, yeah right…

I take in the beautiful brightness of the snow surrounding me, covering Earth with its soft, blanketing caresses. Small flakes litter my bare arms and send a small shiver through my body.

"Let's go back inside," the achingly familiar voice says again. But strangely, I can't remember who it belongs to. So, I turn around, and find myself face to face with a pale, bright-eyed boy. His dark hair is damp from melted snow.

Wait… I know this face.

I know you.

…Izaya.

"Are you okay?" Izaya asks, brows pulling together just as I always remembered them to do.

"I'm fine," I say. My voice sounds serene and calm. It fits right into this winter wonderland.

Wait… what am I even doing here?

Last I remember, I was falling asleep next to the flea in his bed.

Fuck it; my head hurts when I think too hard. There's a sweet sensation in the chilly air that keeps my brain from wandering. I don't bother and instead admire the beauty around me.

Izaya's small hand tugs me up to my feet and I dust the snow off my loose sweat pants. He's wearing a fluffy white jacket, probably for the winter. Something shiny glints at his throat but I don't pay too much attention to it.

In a way, I don't know what I'm doing at all.

At least, I don't know why.

When his fingers curl around my palm, I barely feel it. It's almost like he's a phantom, or I've lost all my senses sitting in this cold weather.

That's probably it.

Izaya skips back in the direction of an unfamiliar house and I am reluctantly tugged along. A sweet smile that is usually so rare is evident on his lips. His cheeks are rosy from the chill.

"Slow down," I grunt.

"You have such long legs. Shouldn't be a problem to keep up," he giggles back.

The sense of familiarity is alarming.

Though no matter how right everything seems here, everything is wrong. I don't know why, but something is off.

But I can't do anything about it. I'm not fully in control of myself.

Soon, we're panting—well, I am, and the flea is dusting off his clothes and prancing into the house. He releases my hand so I can take off my shoes.

"Tsu-chan!" his voice chimes.

"What?" I hear myself replying. I even feel my lips moving. What's going on?

His voice is sweet and melodious as it drifts to me from somewhere in the house. I venture in further.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure," comes my calm reply.

This is becoming altogether, extremely unnerving. A strange feeling sets in the pit of my gut.

His soft, gentle humming drifts from somewhere in the house.

I find myself suddenly in the kitchen as Izaya rummages through a cupboard, standing on his tip toes. On his ears is a pair of strange looking headphones, but yet again, I find myself paying no attention to them. I feel myself chuckle as I step forward to grab the box of mix for him. He pouts, jutting out his lower lip like how I've always seen him do.

But why does it look so… different?

I watch as he busies himself mixing the brown liquid sloppily, half of it spilling onto the counter.

Since when is Izaya clumsy?

He lets out an indignant sound when some of it spills onto his white coat. The chocolate spreads across the fabric like a blooming flower. He looks at it with distressed, wide eyes. "Oh, no!" he mewls. Frantically, he yanks a damp towel to dab at it. Tears are welling from his eyes.

Panic stirs in my gut. I pounce forward, wetting the towel further to scrub the stain off.

It's not fully off, but it's hardly noticeable.

Suddenly, a pair of silky lips grace my cheek. My innards are reeling with shock but my body responds entirely differently.

I loop a casual arm around his thin waist to press my own against his temple and he giggles, sugar sweet.

This is not Izaya.

The fake Izaya smiles another one of those heartfelt smiles and I find myself searching his features for anything amiss.

Everything is as it should be.

But wait… his eyes!

Izaya's eyes are red. Bloody, carmine red.

This 'Izaya's' eyes are… magenta. A sparkling, innocent pink color that stands out on his paler features.

"Tsu-chan? What's wrong?"

Tsu… why hadn't I noticed this before?

What the hell is going on?

"Tsu-chan?" Izaya's voice says again, tugging at my long blue sleeve. Blue…?

But I am unable to reply or move. I'm stuck, frozen in this paradox.

Forever lost.

"You're not Izaya," I finally manage out, meeting those childish eyes.

The not-flea's lips part in shock. He reaches a hand up to my forehead in concern before twining his fingers with mine again.

"No, I'm not. I'm Psyche."

This is when I wake up, my forehead hitting against something hard that emits an irritated 'ow'.

Thank fucking God.

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><p>Hm. I have no idea what to think about this. <strong>Review <strong>please! Thankies.


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Ruined

**/**/EDIT! : **Um, I messed up. This time, I really truly did. I hope no one read it : ) This is the fixed version! *so unprofessional* And holy fuck, 7000 hits. Holy. Fuckerooni. Lol. I missed an important plot point. EFFFFFFF! So you must read this guys! It's totally different from before.  
><strong>**A/N: **Hello. Thank you for the reviews! I'm not as in to this story as I was before. Lmao, BUT! Before you guys yell at me, I promised myself I would finish it no matter what. And I will! *nods* But reviews make it so much easier. Updates are slower now, since… I think I'm beginning to have a life. Yay me? Here is chapter 17 folks!  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to me. Dun dun dun. <strong>v(￣ｰ￣)v

* * *

><p><strong>Lithium <strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Seventeen

* * *

><p>"Ow!"<p>

I sit there, dazed and attempting to regain my bearings. What just happened?

"Psyche…?" I test the name on my tongue, wincing at the way it tasted.

Familiar, yet so… strange and completely, utterly wrong.

It left a strange burning in the back of my mouth just saying it.

"What? Shizu-chan, how insulting. You can't even recognize my voice?"

Not Psyche.

I exhale in relief, bringing a hand to rub at my temple. The throbbing is starting to fade, leaving me confused in its aftermath.

I should have known it was a dream.

But, you know that feeling when you're dreaming? It never feels like a dream. Everything is so blatantly fake yet the human mind refuses to acknowledge the lies. For me, I have never once been allowed control and my dreams have always, always meant something.

Something important.

So what was this one trying to tell me?

Shaking my thoughts off, I feel my fingers twitch, anticipating a good, early morning cigarette. Sadly, I have no idea where I left my cancer-filled box.

"Shizu-chan? Are you still asleep or something?" The flea's voice is so close; I can feel his breath cascading across my cheek.

"No," I reply shortly. I'm not much of a morning person. It figures that he would be though. Tch.

He settles back on his haunches, small weight hardly shifting the creaky mattress.

"So you did stay here last night," he states smugly. I hear the arrogant smirk on his lips louder than his actual words.

"… No, I didn't," I say sarcastically, along with a roll of my blind eyes. It feels so strange not to see the world rotate around me as I do so. All I can feel is the strain in my eyes at the motion that don't even cause a ripple in this dark mass that practically suffocates me.

I hate this.

I think I'd be prepared to do anything just to be able to see again.

With my palms on the bed, I can feel the small bounce as the flea slides over to perch himself at the edge, legs dangling off. He pauses and his red stare burns holes into the side of my head.

"I could barely sleep last night through your loud snores," he complains like the little drama queen that he is.

"I don't snore!" I protest, not really sure if I do or not. Hey, I'm asleep. How the hell would I know if I snore or not? And Kasuka had never complained about it even after all the times we slept together. Though admittedly, he's not much of a complainer.

Wait… that sounded kind of wrong. I meant, all the times we slept in the same room.

There.

The flea doesn't reply but merely gets to his feet with a small tap onto the carpeted floor and proceeds to trek away. His steps sound uncharacteristically sluggish as he makes his way to the bedroom door.

It's weird how I notice these things but not the more obvious ones.

Hesitantly, before he can leave, I call, "Flea?"

His steps slow to a stop and it's only now that I hear the slight pain behind his cheery voice. It's so well hidden, but without my sight, I've concentrated all my power in hearing. It pays off, evidently.

"What is it?" he asks, tightly. I imagine he must be clenching his teeth.

"Don't move," I command, flipping my own legs off the bed and standing up. Surprisingly, he complies. Most likely out of curiosity than anything, probably. I wait for a moment, trying to pick out his quiet breathing. I try not to panic at how labored it sounds. I make my way over to him, one shaky step after another.

"Shizu-chan…?" he queries, and I'm now close enough to feel his presence. I reach out to find him and I fumble around in the air for a while. It's pathetic.

I imagine how we must look. Me, blind and Izaya, sick with God knows what. Me, unable to even see him, let alone find out what's wrong, and him, too weak to assist my handicap.

Taking pity on me, Izaya reaches out himself to touch the tips of my fingers, but draws back quicker than necessary.

He's hiding something.

I curse my state even more than I have before. This is frustrating. I'm utterly useless, covered by this blindfold of dark. I want to destroy it.

With my strength, it should be easy. If only it was tangible.

I measure the distance the brief contact gave me and my hand lands on his arm.

Hah, I can do this—

Wait what the fuck? As my grip wraps around his slender appendage, I nearly slip off.

"Shizu-chan, let go." Izaya tries to worm his way out of my hand but it's futile. I hold on a little harder, just out of anger. He flinches and gasps at the pain and I release him, shocked.

"Why are you all wet?" I ask, grabbing his arm more gently this time. I run my fingers over the tender skin, not feeling any cuts or lacerations marking it. I'm impeccably relieved.

It's not blood.

Even at my gentlest caresses he seems to be in pain. "Don't," he pleads. I've never heard this tone in his voice before. It shakes me enough to freeze my motions and inhale sharply.

"Go get Shinra."

"No, don't tell him. Just let me clean up," he whispers harshly, managing to escape me in my frozen state of surprise.

"Izaya," I snarl his name and he jumps. I'm a little surprised myself. I hardly call him by his name out loud, mostly using 'flea' or 'pest' instead. I'm not entirely sure why. "Why do you keep hiding?"

"None of your business!" he practically yells and there's no doubt that Shinra and Celty would both be awake by now from all this commotion. It's so strange to hear him lose his cool like this.

It only worsens the situation.

I growl wordlessly, frustrated to no end. I strike my fist out and smash it into the wall. My hand goes right in like I had struck through paper, the bits of wood and saw dust sprinkling around my bare feet. It reminds me of my strange dream; of the snowy, bitter cold wonderland.

But it's not snow. It's an outcome of my violence. A reminder of who I am and what I can't fight.

I don't feel even a morsel of pain.

Izaya trembles, anger pulsating from his weak form. I can tell he's hardly holding up on his feet. We stare each other down (me, figuratively) and I can't tell who's winning.

I can't even tell if I'm facing him right now. All I feel is the anger and my inner monster coiling, ready to spring like a striking snake. And underlying all of that is worry.

Intense worry that does nothing to calm me in my time of fury.

"Shizu-chan, you worry too much," Izaya says happily. I don't fall for it. I know what his lies sound like now, and never again will I fall victim.

"Just shut up, flea!" I gasp out, grabbing his thin shoulder, surprisingly accurate. It's like reaching for the light switch in pitch darkness; difficult, but not impossible. I'm getting used to this.

At least, that's what I tell myself.

I tell my fingers to relax, lest I actually hurt him again. That's not my intention, really.

He's shaking just a tiny bit, but I'm sure it's not from fear of me. He's never been scared of me.

I suppose that's what drew me in at first.

"Let go, Shizu-chan." His voice is small, cold and distant. It's like he's shut himself up inside. Or shut me out. I don't know for sure.

Either way, I've lost.

I release his bony shoulder, lingering a little on the burning heat even through the fabric.

I want to rip out my hair. I have not the slightest clue as to what's happening to him. Being blind does nothing but make it harder for me to find out.

It seems like the entire universe is against me at this moment.

I stand, trapped, at the doorway.

I can only listen as his pained footsteps disappear down the hall. I don't know where he's going.

I don't know where I'm supposed to go. How can I follow him if I can't even see his retreating back? I can't even walk in a straight line anymore.

I cover my ears as I hear him cough and retch. He must be in the bathroom. I wish it was further away; I don't want to hear it.

I don't know what to do.

Kasuka, what do I do?

What do I do?

I don't know where you are. I don't know where Izaya is going.

I sink back against the wall, my back scraping against the broken remains of the hole I made. Shinra won't be happy about that.

What do I do?

I can still hear his painful gasps and chokes, playing through his head even though it's been an hour already.

We're sitting at the table, eating. Pretending nothing went wrong.

Pretending that Izaya isn't dying slowly at the hands of something invisible.

Pretending that it isn't only me who's blind to what it is.

Pretending that everything is okay.

Pretending that I can still hear Celty as she tries to ask me what's wrong.

I know now that I'm blind in more than the obvious way.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Alright, I don't think I'll have to fix it again. Hopefully. Let me know if you see any errors! And as usual, REVIEW to keep this alive! Thanks~ **


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Faced

**A/N: **Hey, everyone. Been a while, hm? This is kind of important 'kay? If you haven't read the re-written chapter seventeen, I suggest you go back to read it now before reading this one. Or it won't make sense, right? I'm trying my best not to speed to the ending xD I'm so tempted to reveal everything right now… ahahah it's not time yet, I don't think. *giggles*  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to Forsythia Sky! <strong>＼(*｀∧´)／(/□＼;;)

* * *

><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Eighteen

* * *

><p>We sit at the breakfast table in complete silence, only the clinging of forks against the porcelain plates and the gulping of the occasional orange juice. I don't know what to do.<p>

Should I say something?

My mouth opens and closes about fifty times, unable to actually produce a sound. Instead, I concentrate on bringing the eggs directly into my awaiting mouth without missing. It's such a chore just to eat properly these days. After a few mouthfuls, I give up and bring the plate down to my feet and let Beast have the rest of it.

It's not worth the effort and I don't have much of an appetite; not after what happened only an hour ago. The pesky flea is sitting next to me at the very edge of his seat to make sure that his arm doesn't so much as brush against mine. Even his chair is angled away.

I can't tell if he's actually eating, but I'm pretty sure he isn't. I don't know how he could.

"So…" Shinra begins awkwardly, shattering the tense atmosphere with his cheerful voice. I wince, fairly sure that I'm not going to like what he's about to say.

"What happened this morning?"

I was right. I lean down, resting an elbow on the table and my forehead in my palm. Deep breaths… Relax…

The calming rituals that seem to work for the average person does nothing for me. I guess I really am a monster.

"Shizu-chan fell off the bed," Izaya says calmly, dropping his fork onto his plate with a small clinging sound. I'm dying to know what he looks like.

Is he better now? Is he masking his pain under layers and layers of arrogant masks?

I'll never know, for his tone doesn't show any of his earlier inflections and I can no longer look through those glittering demon eyes to find out. They're the only part of him that doesn't lie after all.

So frustrating.

"Did not," I retort, reluctantly playing along. "You pushed me."

He giggles, a sweet, cold sound that feels like a hand gripping my heart in its fist. Not painful… not to someone like me, but uncomfortable nonetheless. "You were snoring and disrupting my sleep!"

"I don't snore!" I say, exasperated, turning my head in his general direction. I admit that I like this side of him. Just the right amount of irritating that it makes me grin and clench my trembling fingers at the same time.

It's exhilarating.

Shinra laughs, completely buying our carefree conversation. Or he could be pretending. It's hard to tell without seeing his actual facial expression. Shinra's usually the worst actor I've ever met and it's shameful not to be able to tell the difference between lies and reality anymore.

"And what were you doing in Izaya's bed, Shi-zu-o?" the brunette teases, very convincingly if I do say so myself. He might not have heard the flea in the bathroom then. Maybe he slept through it?

I only realize now what he asked me and I jolt, dropping my fork. It slips to the floor, startling Beast into hightailing it back to his position next to Izaya's left foot.

"S-Sleeping! What else would I be doing?" I sputter like it made complete sense for me to sleep with Izaya.

Like it is perfectly normal for two guys to sleep together.

It is, isn't it?

Shinra just hums in response, sounding way too cheery for my liking. I scowl, bending down to fumble for the damn elusive fork. But instead of wrapping my hand around cold metal, I find myself holding onto silky warm skin, now clean and sweat free.

I freeze, instinctively curling around the warmth to absorb it as much as possible.

"Silly protozoan," Izaya chortles, very unconvincingly. He sounds tense; am I hurting him? "I would have thought you'd be able to tell the difference between my hand and a fork! And here I was trying to be kind and getting it for you!"

I drop his hand and immediately my hand feels chilled. I completely forget about the neglected fork, bringing it back and rubbing the tingling skin with my other hand. Stupid, worthless, annoying, tick, pest, pain in the ass—!

Beast chooses this moment to launch himself into my lap and lick me all over my neck, being too lazy to reach my face. At least, that's my assumption. A little grossed out, I rub his soft spot just at the base of his neck and he wiggles with pleasure, soaking me further in his doggy drool.

"Tch," I mumble, proving his point about me being a protozoan. I ignore Izaya's presence efficiently and pretend that I hadn't just grabbed his hand, knowing full well that it isn't a fork.

He snickers, stuffing the filthy silverware between my fingers. I'm a little surprised that he actually bothered to get it for me. "What would you—?"

Then he starts coughing again with enough force to hack out a lung. I stand up forcefully, knocking my chair onto its back and stumble to his side. His hand wards me off, and I feel Shinra's presence nearby saying something that I can't hear.

I don't hear him; I don't hear anyone but Izaya.

His throat is raw and the sound scrapes through in painful gasps. I reach out, not sure what I want to do but I'm slapped away. But before he stopped me, I had made some purchase on the corner of his mouth, my finger tips brushing across the tender skin. The stench of blood fills my nostrils.

"Izaya," I manage out, before Shinra shoves past me to check him over. My head is whirling, spinning and entirely out of control.

I don't know. What's happening to him?

"Shit… fuck…" Shinra curses as Izaya finally falls silent, his breaths coming out in heaves. I'm paralyzed to the spot, staring vacantly into my personal dark universe.

All I know is that I can't let him fall into that _man_'s hands. I know that for sure, Izaya will die if he gets him. But… then there's Kasuka.

Will I really choose Izaya over Kasuka? My own kid brother?

The answer is no. I _can't_ choose one of them because they've both become something of extreme importance. But if I don't choose one, they'll both be gone. And without them, I'll become nothing. If Izaya dies, I'll become how I was before, treading through my forever nighttime without his guiding light and I'll never have a destination.

Without Kasuka, I'll break. No one will be safe within a fifty meter radius of my wrath. Sight or no sight, I'll destroy everything that approaches me.

And I'll kill myself before that happens.

Without either of them, I don't know what I will do or what will become of me.

But I have an aching feeling that I will lose Izaya whether or not I choose him. And I feel myself unraveling at the thought. The threads that hold me together will split and I'll be incomplete.

Since when has Izaya become like my other half? I don't know anymore but it seems like it was forever ago when he first came into my room that fateful night. I don't regret a moment of it; not meeting him and not falling for him.

Wait… what?

Falling… for him?

For Izaya?

The absurd thought rattles me back into the present and I hear Shinra shouting for Celty and they're both hysterical, flitting around him like moths to a light. I can't hear his ragged breathing through their commotion.

"What's happening?" I rasp out, surprised at how horrible I sound. They don't reply at first, doting to drag Izaya over to the examination table instead. I follow them slowly, managing to avoid most of the obstacles and only tripping once over what I think was my chair leg.

I eventually find my way over to them, my only indication Shinra's commands and the clattering sounds of medical equipment and Beast's occasional anguished yowl.

He whimpers as I reach the doorframe, nudging me forward with his wet black nose and blood pounds loudly through my ear. This can't be happening… it's too soon…

I make my way to the edge of the table where Izaya lies, guided only by instinct, and my breath hitches. Blindly, I fumble for his face, fumble to feel the rise and fall of his chest and I fumble just to find _him._

Within only the course of a few weeks, the parasite had leeched his way into my heart, making himself a prominent piece of my puzzle.

He fit himself within my jagged edges and countless imperfections just settled himself in, no questions asked.

Like he was made to be there.

He's got himself in, and there's no way I'm about to let him go. Not now, not ever.

You wanted to be important to Heiwajima Shizuo? Well, tough. You've got the position for life.

I grasp his cold hand in mine, feeling the presences of Celty and Shinra working on him, their hands busily applying needles, medication and whatever else that doctors do. The beeping of the all-too-familiar machines are unsteady and lurching, but I don't pay mind to it.

I just concentrate on tethering him to me with just our connected limbs.

With the amount of strength I have, it should be more than enough.

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><p><strong>Review<strong>if you want more! Thanks for reading.


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Deserved

**A/N: **Hello! So, just as a reminder, in case you didn't see it, *laughs nervously* go on my profile? One of my lovely readers drew a beautiful fan art for this story! (Thank you crimsonfire3) How exciting! So go see! The link is there. Also, the story _should_ be coming to a close soon (It shouldn't be longer than 30 chapters. That's my estimate so far.) I hope. *Is tired of having to update* Boo. Anyways, thank you for the amazing compliments and overall enthusiasm for this story! It makes me so happy! :D And oh my, we're nearing the 200 review point? EEP! I will be revealing Izaya's condition soon if you're curious. But it'll probably be near the end, so just stay tuned. (DID I EVER MENTION HOW DIFFICULT IT IS WRITING IN THE POV OF A BLIND PERSON? ITS HARD DAMN IT. I SHOULD HAVE MADE HIM LOSE HIS SIGHT LATER. NOW I SUFFER FOR MY MISTAKEEEEEE…)  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to Forsythia Sky... <strong>щ(ಥ益ಥщ)

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Nineteen

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><p>I ride the waves of my nightmare of blood and death like a world class expert; I've already gone through it so many times already. But even so, since I've become blind, the nightmares have become more vivid. The images accompanying the screams of terror fill me with dread and send me into a spiraling mess of sorrow.<p>

I wake up slowly, getting used to the feel of a real body. The tear tracks left on my cheeks from last night's ordeal feel sticky and my face feels hard and stiff. My fingers are numb from clutching onto Izaya's hand the whole time, the appendages filling with the sudden rush of tiny needles as I stretch them out.

Feeling hopeful, I hesitantly ask the beckoning darkness,

"Izaya?"

I wait patiently for a reply, scanning my blind eyes around in front of me, as if to take his form in. His breathing sounds steadier, less forced and labored than the day before but there's no clear indication of him awakening just yet.

Out of pure habit, I reach into my pocket to nab those cursed cigarettes and pull one out. But I pause when the curved end reaches my lips, my other hand poised to light it. I feel guilty when I remember how much Izaya hated them.

_Hates_ them, I correct myself hastily. He still does. Why the fuck am I thinking in the past tense?

Stuffing the thing in my mouth, I'm tempted to light it just to see if Izaya would wake up and stop me. Crazy, I know, but it's Izaya we're talking about here.

Sighing, I shove the lighter back into my pocket. I really was about to light it, but I'm too worried about missing. I may be virtually indestructible but I'm fairly sure having a part of my face melted off would be even a slightest bit uncomfortable.

It's been four days since the call. That leaves six more until I can either save Kasuka or betray Izaya. But I've already concluded that I can't do either of those. So that means I need some sort of plan doesn't it?

Have I mentioned how horrible I am at creating things? Be it an idea or anything related to thinking, it just doesn't work for me. I like to say that I think with my fists. And whenever I think, it becomes extremely painful for someone.

I realize that I should refrain from doing any 'thinking' in here with Izaya being all vulnerable and all.

Izaya… vulnerable. Those words don't fit quite right in the same sentence but unfortunately, it's an accurate depiction of him at this moment. I feel that monstrous side to me stir again at the thought of our street fight. It seems like it was forever ago that the louse was up and running like the annoying tick that he is, but it must have only been a couple of days ago. It was thrilling to be able to unleash my strength on something in this world that can take it. And most likely, the only one who can.

Is it wrong for me to use Izaya as an outlet for my anger?

Then again, I think that's how it should be. I imagine Izaya well and me, with my sight. We would be neck in neck, wreaking havoc through Ikebukuro.

It would be nice if things were really that simple.

Just then, someone walks into the room, flinging the metal door open as they do. It must be Shinra or Celty; as I have said before, they never knock.

Then again, no one should have to knock. Izaya's not awake to let them in and this isn't my room. I shake those thoughts off.

"Shinra?" I guess, tilting my head to the side a little bit. Izaya's finger twitches from inside my grasp. The cigarette falls from my lips, hitting the floor without making an audible sound.

I don't pay any mind to it. "Is he waking up?" Shinra asks, rushing over to my side. My guess was correct.

"I think so," I mumble, gripping his heated hand tightly. The scrambling of paws over the tiles indicates Beast's arrival. It's weird how I get the sudden image of the stupid dog riding a white horse, clad shining armor.

Hey, he does try to come to the rescue every time doesn't he?

The dog leaps onto my lap to sniff the ex-informant enthusiastically and flicks his tail into my face repeatedly. I throw him to the floor in annoyance.

"Ngh," Izaya groans, coughing a little. It sounds painful; I can only imagine the horrid condition his throat is in.

"Don't talk," Shinra commands, switching from 'idiotic friend' to 'doctor' just like that. It's impressive, I have to admit. He bustles around the flea, doing things that I don't understand or particularly care about.

All I feel is relief that he's alive. That he's awake is good enough to ease my heart.

For now.

"Izaya, we have to talk," the young doctor says. "Or, rather, I have to talk and you have to listen."

Izaya mumbles something incoherent and garbled. I flinch, wondering if his throat was irreparably damaged. There had been a lot of blood yesterday.

"Excuse us, Shizuo."

…

There's a small moment in the room where Shinra is poised to run like a scared rabbit, I'm sitting there, pondering whether or not I should listen to him and Izaya just lies on the cold table, not caring what's happening around him. Finally, when he breaks out into another painful fit, I stand up.

"I'll be back in five minutes."

"Right," Shinra says tiredly. I feel sort of bad but for some reason, I feel unsure about stepping too far away. I feel like the moment I turn my back on him, he'll disappear.

Call me paranoid, but that's the way it feels for me. Beast guides me out with the occasional brush of his tail and a nudge with his cold nose. I now realize what a good idea it was for Kasuka to get me a dog.

Kasuka…

No, don't think about that now.

I step outside but as soon as the door shuts, I pause. I never said that I'd actually leave did I? And he never said that I'd have to specifically.

This would probably be my only chance to find out anything, anything at all. So, I relax nonchalantly against the wall with my arms folded and eyelids drooping just so. I try my best not to look like a delinquent.

Soon, I hear Shinra's voice drifting through the door. It's faint, and I can just barely make it out. "…tting worse. I… sure how m… left." I curse under my breath. Why is this fucking metal door so thick? I can hardly hear a thing!

"Because of… he… to you…" What? Who? "Shou… earlier… spe… for… next we… or so."

Huh? I want to rip my hair out in frustration. I didn't get a single piece of fucking information from—!

A tap to my shoulder sends me reeling and I blurt out, "Beast wanted to take a walk!"

I'm met with silence on both sides of the door.

Well… fuck?

Celty grabs my hand and drags her nail across it a little harder than necessary, though she knows it doesn't hurt me. She's just showing her annoyance. They don't spell out anything really. Just a bunch of big '?'s that sting my pride.

"Um…"

The metal door swings open, revealing who I'm guessing is Shinra since Izaya is probably in no condition to walk just yet.

"I'm guessing you were listening?" I was right again. Yay me.

"I…" I consider lying, but I remember how much I suck at it. "Yeah." But in my defense, I didn't hear anything worthwhile.

Shinra is considerate enough to touch my shoulder to show me where he's standing. I turn to face him meekly. "I didn't hear anything."

"This door is pretty thick, isn't it?" he laughs, suddenly sounding smug. It's almost like he thinks he's the one that stopped me.

Annoying, annoying, annoying…

"Yes," I agree through gritted teeth.

"Well too bad for you!" he giggles, squeezing around me to grab Celty's hand. I can feel her radiating embarrassment and judging from the 'oof' sound Shinra makes, she probably gave him a good one right to the stomach.

"Ow, that hurt," Shinra whines.

"How is he?" I interrupt before they can have one of their daily lover's quarrels.

"Not so good. His health is deteriorating and from last night's coughing episode, he sprained his throat. I'm not letting him talk for the next few days. He could permanently damage it if he strains it any further."

Well… doesn't it suddenly seem like the whole world is against me?

Did I do something morally wrong in a past life? Did I ever step on a puppy?

With everything that's happened to me so far, I probably did worse.

I'm blind, and now… I can't even hear Izaya's voice?

It just isn't fair.

I sigh, fumbling to grip the door handle. Shinra and Celty are smart enough not to try and help me. I yank it open and step back into the room with Beast at my heels. The door shuts behind me with a finalizing click.

As soon as I reach Izaya's side, he grumbles something that sounds a little like, "Shh-ah." I suspect it to be his crazy nickname for me.

I sit down, reaching out a hand to find him. He meets me half way, brushing our finger tips before dropping his hand.

"Ngh-mmf," he mutters, with what I think is an indignant tone.

"Shut up." Then as an afterthought, I add, "Doctor's orders."

And this became the first time Izaya and I had a silent conversation. But I suppose it's alright.

If it's him I'm talking to, I don't need to hear any words.

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><p><strong>AN: **I think this is kind of badly written, SORRY! *cries* Review if you want more. T-T Don't know why you would. I suck at this.


	20. Chapter Twenty: Coiled

**A/N: **Hello, everyone. Can't believe we're finally at chapter twenty. I appreciate everyone's support very much! Especially you, lovely reviewers. *hugs* And over 12 000 hits, it's so awesome! I thank you again! Please keep reading and enjoying my story! Honestly, I think writing this is like a roller coaster ride for me; sometimes I'm so confident but other times I feel like I'm the worst writer ever. Does anyone else feel that way when they write? X-x I have no clue about this chapter whatsoever.  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to me… sadly… <strong>（≧Д≦）ノ

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Twenty

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><p>I sit quietly next to Izaya as he struggles to get his message across. After a few moments, I silence him with a light tap to his elbow.<p>

"You scared me, you know," I mutter, itching for some nicotine. I resist the urge. I've been doing that so much lately, I don't think it'd be hard to quit. I used to think it was impossible.

Not impossible, but rather… smoking was necessary.

Cigarettes were a part of me. I had started smoking when I was 14, a little while after I acquired my insane strength. The people of Ikebukuro looked to me as a monster, a God, immortal, and the list goes on. Either way, all of those things meant one thing: invincible.

Some people even believe me to be a perfect human. Perfectly _inhuman_ is a more accurate depiction.

But I'm not perfect; never was, never will be. I have the worst temper, I hurt the people I love and I can never get close without being scared of myself.

To me, I'm the most imperfect out of everyone in the world.

That's why I had started smoking though. When people see me, they feel jealous, power-hungry and wish to no end that they could have even a morsel of my immortal strength. To them, my curse is a gift.

But when they see me with that cigarette clamped stubbornly between my lips, my strong lungs inhaling their human-made concoction of death, I feel their disapproval.

I know what they think. It's such a waste. Such strength, such perfection… is no longer perfect. For I now have an addiction that I can't part with. Whenever I feel the nicotine surges, I'm satisfied that I have to step outside to fulfill my body's wishes. For now, they see that I'm not a God. I'm not immortal and I'm able to succumb to a cigarette as any regular human does.

I'm dependant on them to take me away from the rage-filled place that I'm all-too familiar with.

I feel normal whenever those tiny, fragile sticks of poison enter my lungs and filter through my brain in a clouded haze of ecstasy. I show them how I'm just like them; a prisoner to those cursed cigarettes.

The thought of quitting had never even crossed my mind until a certain tick had skipped merrily into my life.

How could I quit when they were my only connection to humans besides my fists?

W-O-R-R-Y T-O-O M-U-C-H, Izaya traces on my arm, breaking me out of my reverie. His ringed finger dragging a path of fire across my cool flesh, searing its message onto the skin.

"How could I not?" I say, exasperated, flicking his forehead surprisingly accurately. He makes a small sound of protest, rubbing at the sore spot. "I thought you were going to die…" I admit, lowering my blind eyes to another unknown spot.

S-O-R-R-Y

I glance up, surprised, wishing I could see his expression. I wonder if he's smiling, or have I made him frown again?

As if reading my mind, Izaya adds another part to his message.

: )

I give a short laugh, and hesitantly reach out a hand. Realizing what I want, he complies this one time, ducking his head a little so that my fingers brush his dark strands of hair. The silky strands slide smoothly between my fingers as I run my hand through them rhythmically.

This is okay, right?

I can't help but feel that we're breaching some sort of world order.

That I'm over-stepping my boundaries. But why should there be any in the first place?

My voice suddenly gruff, I warn him, "Don't do that again."

S-O-R-R-Y he says again, not actually promising anything. I'm a fool to even think he would.

"You're not allowed to die."

He giggles painfully, making sure that I hear it.

S-T-U-P-I-D

I glare at him until the light laughter stops. As soon as he sobers up, I say, "I'm serious," earning me a sigh from him in response.

O-U-T O-F Y-O-U-R C-O-N-T-R-O-L

That painful ache takes hold of my heart again. I stop my stroking ministrations in his hair, clenching my hands into fists to control the trembling. Izaya grabs my fist, smoothing out my fingers in a surprisingly gentle motion and I allow it, feeling my blind eyes well with unshed tears.

He's not going to die, right? I hate not knowing what's happening. I hate being so lost.

Even with my legendary strength, I am too weak to fight death. I'm more human than most people give me credit for.

He pokes my arm, trying to get my attention. When I remain stiff and unresponsive, he sighs and takes hold of my pinky.

Huh…?

Slowly but surely, something hard slides up the length of my smallest finger and sits at the very end.

A… ring?

My heart literally stops at this point, as I recall the matching glittering silver bands coiled around both of Izaya's thin, elegant fingers.

I don't think my heart will ever beat properly again as I reach with my other hand to stroke the delicate metal. I imagine all the things this ring has seen; all of Izaya's memories were probably witnessed by this plain yet aristocratic ornament.

N-O-W S-T-O-P W-O-R-R-Y-I-N-G

I open my mouth, aghast. The implications of Izaya giving me one of his rings makes my stomach fill with a thousand butterflies and I can't stop stroking the thin band to make sure it's really there.

I'm probably never taking it off.

Before I can thank him properly, the rustle of fabric tells me that the scarlet-eyed male is sitting up. Immediately, I leap to my feet and grab his arm. "What are you doing?"

He pulls out of my grasp and swings his legs off the edge of the examination table.

R-O-O-M, he informs me and I understand that a metal table would be quite uncomfortable.

"You should rest a bit more." My brows furrow as he slides off the table with a small thud. Immediately, his legs try to buckle but he fights it, gripping onto my shoulders to stand shakily. The door to the room flings open as two pairs of footsteps march in purposefully. Beast, whom I had forgotten existed yips and bites at my pant leg to remind me.

"Izaya? Shizuo? Where are you two going?" Shinra asks disapprovingly, moving to stand at Izaya's other side, most likely scanning his battered body with his trained, bespectacled chocolate irises.

"The flea wants to go to his room."

The ring feels like a heavy promise from its perch on my finger. I wish I could see what it looks like on my own hand; I can only imagine it on Izaya's paler ones.

I wonder if it was important to him.

"Oh," Shinra mutters, sounding distracted.

"What?" I question, glancing around my dark universe. Then I hear a small sigh escape Izaya's lips and I'm guess that he and Celty are having a silent conversation, their fingers trailing silently across equally pale, smooth skin and I wonder what they're talking about.

The raven tugs my shirt, indicating that he wants to start moving. I comply, taking a step forward but Izaya stumbles, only to be caught by Shinra's hands on his shoulders.

"Do you need a wheel chair?"

A loud smack to the metal table is obviously a 'no', as Shinra chuckles nervously and Celty wrings her hands.

"I'm guessing you don't want to be carried either." It wasn't a question. Another smack to the table tells me that he wouldn't appreciate the gesture. I can't help but think how childish he is. "Then how do you expect to get to the room?" I challenge with my eyebrow raised.

Izaya drops his hands from my shoulders in response, stubbornly taking quick steps forwards and his feet dragging along the cold floor. I follow as best I can, guided by my ears and a little bit of instinct.

I suspect that only pure stubbornness keeps him on his feet and slowly, we trail to his room with Beast at my heel and Shinra and Celty left alone in the newly vacated examination room.

As soon as we reach the room, I hear a huff as Izaya lands on the bed, Beast leaping up onto it a few paces behind. The dog sounds heavier; I wonder how big he's gotten now. He was a small thing when I'd first gotten him. Then again, Golden Retrievers are supposed to be big.

I stand cautiously at the edge of the mattress, listening as he rearranges himself into a comfortable position. After a few moments of silence, I finger the metal band around my pinky.

"Why did you give me your ring?" I ask softly into the fragile peace.

I hold out my hand and Izaya writes, I H-A-V-E T-W-O, nonchalantly into my palm. I scoff, not resisting the small smile that overtakes my lips and a strange urge clouds my judgment. I lean down, acting on instinct not unlike the animal that most think me to be and it's not until I brush against a pair of silky lips that reason jolts back into my mind.

If this isn't overstepping my self-constructed boundaries then I don't know what is.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya breathes out, his voice hoarse and scraping.

"I…" I back up hastily, shutting my eyes for no reason. It's not like I can see through them either way. "I… sorry!" and make a hasty retreat out the door. I really am a coward.

Dear lord, what have I done?

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you for reading. **Review **as usual if you want this to be finished!


	21. Chapter TwentyOne: Silenced

**A/N: **Rating has only been recently changed to M, as I realized that a reader has mentioned in a very intense review. :D I suppose that hints as something, no? I won't disclose anything further. I have something that I'm sure you guys will be happy to read.  
>Anyways, chapter twenty had the most reviews I've ever gotten for one chapter… now over 200 reviews! I honestly never thought I'd get to this point! Please keep enjoying this story! Arigato, mina-san! *Bows*<br>Crimsonfire3 has made another **fanart** for this story! Thanks sweetie~ s2  
>I don't really like this chapter x-x I think I did badly. But I've already re-written it so many times, I can't do it anymore! Urgh. Sorry everyone. I hope you can forgive me for being bad. And slow at updating... I have so many projects to do!<br>**{DISCLAIMER} I don't own Durarara! **ε-(´・｀) ﾌｰ

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><p><strong>Lithium <strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Twenty One

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><p>A boy runs, his thin legs pounding against the pavement. His breaths come out in short heaves.<p>

Unsure, he pauses to glance back at the pursuing crowd.

That was a mistake.

As soon as he turned around, a shovel hits him square in the chest and he falls to the ground unceremoniously. He gasps, clutching his midsection.

"Get out of Shaya, monster. You are not my son!" the woman screeches hysterically, bringing the shovel down again, earning crows of approval from her friends. "I should get you exorcised! Demon! How dare you posses my… my baby boy…" She begins to sob, wiping her dark brown eyes furiously trying to rid off the moisture.

I run over to kneel beside his fragile body. His small hands are curled into fists, trembling with frustration. But yet, he doesn't fight back.

He doesn't yell, doesn't scream, he just stares up at his beloved mother with wide eyes filled with betrayal.

How he can do that is entirely beyond me.

Then all at once, the crowd surges forward after a moment's hesitation, bringing their weapons down on the defenseless boy over and over, not stopping even when his cries of anguish turn into ones of silent streaming tears. The watery rivulets mix with the blood and dust that cake his features and muddle his dark hair.

"Mom…" the child whispers to himself, not bothering to shield himself from the painful landslide of blows. He takes them all, as if he really deserves the punishment.

As if he had really committed that nonexistent sin.

I shut my eyes and block my ears. I can't take anymore of this. But for some reason, even with my eyes and ears firmly shut off, I can still see and hear every single detail. I can hear the child's harsh breathing start to slow, the loud huffs as the mob begins to stop their violent ministrations, retreating like animals to their dens after a satisfying meal.

Realizing it's futile, I let my hands drop from the sides of my head and let my eyelids creak open. The boy is lying in a puddle of his own blood, weapons strewn haphazardly around his petite form. The streets have become deserted, leaving nothing but an idle crow that caws out a guttural sound before taking flight.

He's dead. I'm sure of it.

Yet some idiotic part of me hopes that it isn't true. For an odd, unknown reason, I understand every detail of his situation. I know exactly what will happen but yet, I still make guesses and predictions.

Suddenly, the mop of dark brown hair lifts up and for the first time, our gazes interlock.

I can only think of one thing at this moment: _Don't make me watch this again. _

The boy's eyes that were once large, lucid and innocent begin to turn into hard slate. Flat and merciless and being only capable of holding a vastness of violence. He slowly sits up, wiping the blood with the back of his hand; smudging his life's liquid over the bruised skin.

It's completely beyond me how he survived.

Hey. Are you a monster?

The boy smiles, clandestine; his gaze remaining locked with mine. I watch as his heart and soul harden, his childish face becoming stern and fierce. I watch as he slides a cigarette between his lips and inhales as if his life depends on it.

And I can only watch as slowly, his hair becomes a shocking blond, his body elongating, his eyes shaded by a pair of dark sunglasses.

I can only watch as he becomes me.

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><p>I sit up harshly, gasping for breath as if I had just run a twenty mile marathon. Sweat drips down the side of my face, my thin t-shirt damp and my bangs pressing against my forehead.<p>

I rub my hands tiredly over my face, flinching when my ring knocks against the corner of my lips. That's the third time I've had that dream so far and it still hasn't gotten easier to bear in the slightest. Tch.

A monster… eh?

"Hah…" I scoff, leaning back on my elbows and tilting my head towards the ceiling. I'm 24 and yet, this particular nightmare never fails shake me to the core.

Though, it's not so much a nightmare as it is a memory. One that I've tried a million times over to wipe from my existence. I should have known that that would never happen. It's impossible.

I'll never forget what's been branded onto my soul. Memories of my childhood continue to play in my head like a movie, the film reels rolling and ceasing to stop.

It only makes it worse for me, sitting here alone in the silence. Why is it so quiet?

Why can't I hear _his_ breathing?

This is the first time since I've become blind that I've been exposed to such a thing. Silence.

It's only now that I find out how despicable it is. The lack of noise presses down on me, shoving me onto my back and suffocating me. I'm paralyzed as I can only hear my heart beat accompanied by my own loud intakes of air. Without a source of outside sound, I feel as if I've gone deaf.

Couple that with being blind and it's like being locked up inside my own body. I feel like a caged animal, deprived of my most primal senses. I can't help wondering if I really _have_ gone deaf; that if I speak, I won't even hear my own voice anymore.

It'll be like I don't really exist anymore. I'll be alone inside my body with nothing to tell me that the world outside really exists.

I shudder, trying to shed my disgustingly morbid thoughts. How did I get to this point?

"Izaya?" I whisper, so immensely relieved to hear my own voice. I wonder vaguely that if I'm left in this silence any longer, maybe I'll begin to talk to myself just to hear something.

I reach out a tentative hand to my right, the side where he sleeps. I meet empty air, nearly falling off the bed as I lurch forward. The hard leather digs into my waist.

Leather… this isn't even the bed. I'm on the couch.

… Why am I on the couch?

I curse as everything from last night comes rushing back at me, over-flooding the bloody remnants of my nightmare.

I had kissed him, didn't I? I really did it.

And then I ran.

That explains why I'm alone on the couch, then. Serves me right. I count my breaths to try to deploy my mind from thinking about how quiet it is again. The nothingness sends chills that crawl up my arms and legs like insects.

It's disgusting.

But when I don't think about that, my thoughts drift back to Izaya. To our kiss, to be more precise.

Moronic, idiotic, stupid, protozoan, I chant as I repeatedly smack my forehead. What was I thinking?

No, why _wasn't_ I thinking? That seems to be a more accurate question.

Taking advantage of a sick person is low. I feel shame creep up my neck and heat my cheeks.

The worst part about this is that I _liked_ it. I liked the feel of his soft lips pressing against mine, feeling his breath fan across my cheek and his voice whispering my name…

Shit. I slump back down onto the hard leather couch, purposely letting the hardest points press into my back. Anything to distract from my traitorous thoughts.

But without those traitorous thoughts, I begin to hyperventilate under the blanket of silence.

I'm really just going around in circles, aren't I?

Realizing that this is really not the way to go about things, I slide off the couch and feel my way to the bathroom. My finger tips trail along the hall, searching for the correct dip that indicates my desired location.

Uncomfortable, I slip off my damp t-shirt as I enter, not bothering to shut the door behind me. Everyone is asleep anyways. I wash off all traces of my earlier dilemma down the drain, splashing my face twenty times more than I usually do. The sound of rushing water is music to my ears.

Once I feel appropriately freshened, I amble back to the couch without the aid of my hands, testing my memory. I'm proud to say that I only tripped once on the way back to the couch.

Admittedly, I had paused a little at Izaya's door, wondering whether he's angry.

I wonder if he has better dreams than I do.

I really contemplated what I should say to him. What kind of excuse could I make for that kiss-and-run? Undoubtedly, if I attempt to join him in his bed tonight, he'd slit my throat without having to even wake up.

I slide back onto the couch, bunching my t-shirt under my head as a makeshift pillow. I shut my eyes, willing sleep to come.

Luckily, it deigns to grace me dreamlessly this time.

* * *

><p><em>Riiiiiinnnnggggg! Riiiiiinnnnnnggggg! <em>

I groan, rolling over but only managing to throw myself to the floor in a drowsy heap. The annoying sound grates my ear drums, though the sound is still reassuring that I hadn't died in my sleep.

Fantastic.

Is it an alarm clock or something? That would mean that it's a new day… and that I'd have to explain myself to Izaya.

And also… that there's only two more days until…

Ugh.

I lay there on the floor, my shirt thrown to some miscellaneous place during my free fall. The carpet scratches at my bare chest, the rough material imprinting on my cheek.

Maybe I'll just sleep some more right here.

"Shizuo!" Shinra yells, his voice startling my eyelids open again.

"What," I grumble, muffling my voice into my arm. My brain feels like it weighs a hundred pounds where it sits in my head; though granted, a hundred pounds is nothing to me.

"Phone call," the mousy haired man reprimands, his voice sounding closer this time. Then a random object falls from the sky and hits me square in the chest.

"Ow," I grunt, monotonous. It didn't hurt, but saying 'ow' is somewhat a natural reflex. Shinra must have come into the room without me noticing. The object appears to be a phone as I fumble to grasp it.

I'm not much of a morning person.

"Hullo?" I ask gruffly as soon as I press it to my face. The other end is silent. "Hello? I'm hanging up."

"Um, Shizuo…" Shinra says timidly.

"What?" I snap.

"You're holding it upside down."

Oh. Hah. I flip it the other way and repeat the greeting. My eyelids remain hooded, tired.

"Hello, Shizuo-san?" A feminine voice that I don't recognize says in an urgent voice. I sit up, the mental haze I was in immediately dissipating.

"Who is this?" I demand.

"This is Nell, Tom's girlfriend."

"Oh… hi," I say, appropriately abashed. I didn't know he had a girlfriend.

Nell pauses for a second before saying in a small voice,

"Tom got into an accident last night."

And that's all it takes for me to send the couch flying across the room.

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you for reading! Please leave a **review** if you're looking to read more. ^_^


	22. Chapter Twentytwo: Rendered

****FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! ForsythiaSky , I'll notify you guys when I fix up my mishap on chapter twenty three. *stressed out* ****

****https : / twitter . com / #! / ForsythiaSky****

****(Take out the spaces)****

**A/N: **Hey, everyone. Thanks for your reviews as usual! So like, I'm not sure about where you guys live, but I have March Break right now! It's a one week holiday. But my shitty teachers gave me seven projects to do (the weird part is, I only have 4 teachers), all of them thinking that I'll have a lot of time on my hands. *strained smile* Honestly, when they all piled up, I was so overwhelmed. And right now, I'm just slacking off. I did three of them so far. *takes out bazooka*… Heads will roll.  
>I hope anger doesn't reflect on fictional writing.<br>Check 'dis out yo! :D **http:/30. media. tumblr. com/ tumblr_ly9gt1VzV81qkske0o9_250 .jpg**  
>Just remove the spaces. If it doesn't work, check the original link in the reviews! It's so beautiful… Thank you, <strong>o0Kairi0o<strong> ^-^ I know you didn't draw it, but thanks for showing me! For some reason, it fits well with this story.  
><strong>{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! doesn't belong to me. <strong>(ﾉ｡◕ヮ◕｡)ﾉ*¬:･ﾟ✧

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><p><strong>Lithium <strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Twenty Two

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><p>Tom will be fine. He'll be okay.<p>

He's always been a constant in my life. In school, he was my sempai. After school, he was my confidant, my guardian. And then he became my boss, giving me hope when I was jumping from job to job.

Getting hit by a car won't kill him; I've been hit more times than I can count! I laugh airily, no doubt earning some strange looks from my companions, before realizing the errors of my crazed thoughts.

How could I compare Tom to myself? It's absolutely unfathomable. The trauma must really be getting to my head. When I get hit by a car, or a train for that matter, it's almost equivalent to the average human being shoved. Granted, it's a little more painful, but nothing unmanageable.

I'd take ten trucks for Tom. I'd take a thousand. If that would mean that he would be okay, I'd do it. I'd go jump in front of one right now if that's what it would take. But unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way.

Equivalent trade is but a myth. It only works in fantasies. And I'm not even sure if ten trucks hitting me is equivalent to a car hitting Tom. It probably isn't. I might walk out of it dazed but alive. The main thing is, I'd be able to _walk_ out of it. Tom couldn't.

Izaya's silent presence next to me is comforting, but not entirely so. He hasn't said a single word, perhaps because he can't, but I thought I heard him talk this morning. I suppose he's decided to put what happened last night to the side, just until things become stable. For that, I'm grateful.

I stand up, unable to bear being still any longer and being to pace back and forth along the hall. He's taking so long. Surely it doesn't take this long to do a minor surgery. I would be smoking right now if it weren't for the 'no smoking' rule in this hospital. We had to come all the way to the one in Shinjuku, since Ikebukuro's hospital had been burned down.

"Ow," Izaya mumbles as I accidentally step on his foot. I mutter a haste apology and resume my pacing rut a few centimeters further so that it doesn't happen again.

Suddenly, a loud beep signals the end of the operation and the doors swing open. I jump, rushing over to where the sounds are coming from. One of the doctor's hands ushers me back from his personal space as I barrel too close.

"Easy," he says in a stiff, professional voice. I step back a bit and I feel crowded as most likely, Shinra and Celty have risen to stand beside me.

"He'll live." The statement was plain; simple, even. But it sounds like an angel's singing to my ears. I slump over in relief, the words playing over in my head. He'll live. He's fine.

My sempai, my boss, my guardian…

A sweet tasting smile slips over my features and I run my hand through my bright bangs. "That's great!" I vaguely hear Shinra exclaim. The doctor then says in a harsher tone, "I wasn't finished."

What?

I straighten up again, heeding the warning signs.

"He'll live, but the car… it crushed his legs. The operation took longer than predicted because we had to amputate them. He really would have died if we didn't…"

I stopped listening after the word 'amputate'. I felt my head pound; my heart stop and my legs give way. I crumble to the floor, clutching at my temples. I rip at the strands of hair that refused to stop hanging over my eyes. The dark surrounding me suddenly felt thicker and my breathing far too loud. It drowns out all other voices around me.

Tom. A sob escapes my lips and I have the sudden urge to claw off my own legs. I deserve it. This is my fault.

The man on the phone… I'm now sure that he is responsible for this.

I grit my teeth, throwing my head back to smash it against the wall. I'm beyond frustrated when I hardly feel a thing, even when the plaster crumbles beneath the weight. Alarmed shouts echo around me but I don't care.

Tom is crippled.

I hide under the blanket of pure, unadulterated rage and lock myself up inside. It's alright. I don't have to think, ever, when it takes over. I don't have to—

"Shizu-chan."

Ah. Izaya. As soon as the red haze leaves me, I resist the urge to call it back. Instead, I hold onto the sound of his voice. "Izaya?" I whisper. He's the only one.

He can save me from myself.

From my spot on the floor, I feel him press up to my side, his warm body seeping into my own. His slender fingers reach up to brush my bangs from my face and I lean into his touch. That's it.

Touch me.

Make me forget. I've never hated living in this world so much before.

His finger tips trail down the side of my face and cup my cheek in his palm. "Stupid protozoan. You broke another wall," he reprimands. I don't really care what he says as long as he's talking. I'm starting to love the sound of his voice. In fact, I'm starting to love his very existence.

"Izaya," I say again, slower this time. I fold my arms over my knees, leaning my forehead down. His name feels right on my tongue. It feels like a breath of fresh air.

I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I think I'm slowly losing everything that's important to me and I'm scared. I hate it; losing. The very prospect is enough to make my breath falter.

I lost my parents. My friends. My humanity. My sight. Tom will surely leave me if he realizes that I am to blame for his 'accident'. And I know that one day, I will lose Izaya.

This is too much, I can't—

"Beast must be feeling neglected outside. Let's go pay him a visit, Shizu-chan."

There he goes again. Saving me. My debt to this man is probably unimaginably huge by now. I allow him to slowly tug me to my feet, our rings clashing together as our hands meet. The tiny clinging sound snaps me back to reality. Sounds begin to rush into my eardrums in a tide of noises. The doctors have left, leaving the four of us standing in the cold hallway.

I keep my gaze averted from everything, not sure where I'm looking but fairly sure it's not at anything relevant.

"We'll be right back," Izaya simpers in a cute undertone, untangling our hands and grabbing my wrist instead. I follow blindly, not really caring if he was bringing me to the edge of a cliff. Anything to get away from here I'll take with open arms.

He leads me through what seems like a maze, weaving between and around people agilely, his thin, fragile arm tethering me to him. Soon, he slows, releasing me to shove the doors open with flourish before proceeding to pull me outside.

The cool autumn air blasts me in the face, so relieving from the stuffy hospital air that always smelt of antiseptic and death. An excited yip greets us as we march over to Beast. The tree he was tied to trembles from the force of him attempting to rip free of the leash's constraint.

As soon as Izaya releases my hand, it aches and flexes at the loss of touch. I feel like I'm drifting away again. I glance up towards the sky, trying to absorb the sunlight with my eyes shut and my lips parted.

"Did you miss us, little monster?" Izaya croons, kneeling down beside the elated animal. Beast gives Izaya a quick lick on the lips like he does to pretty much everyone, earning an irritated yelp from the raven before barreling into my shin. I lower my head, my hands clenched into fists at my sides.

"Shizu-chan, he wants you to pick him up," the flea tells me, standing up with a small huff. I imagine his sanguine eyes boring into my face, trying to read me. I'm sure he does so without fail. I sigh, unclenching my fists before kneeling down. I open my arms and Beast sidles up to me and I straighten with the ball of fur cuddled to my chest.

"Let's go sit," he suggests, tugging me over to the nearest bench. I comply, plopping down onto the wooden surface next to Izaya. We sit close; closer than we ever have before. Our arms and shoulders brush at the smallest movements and the wind blows the flimsy material of his t-shirt, making it flap against my waist.

"Izaya," I whisper again, feeling crushed. I lower my face to bury it into Beast's soft fur, forcing tears back. I'm sick of everything going so wrong. I'm sick of life fucking me over.

I didn't ask for this.

I feel his flaming gaze on me as once again, he tries to read into my actions, since my words are inadequate as usual. "Are you thinking about how fucked up life is?" Damn him and his inquisitive mind. While I know nothing about him, one glance and he can have me wrapped around his finger with everything he knows about me. It's unfair.

I turn to look over at him, wishing I could see for the billionth time. The breeze gusts around us, making Beast press closer to my stomach for warmth.

"The harder you fight to live, the more worth it life becomes."

I swallow as I know just how much he has to fight to survive. I open my mouth to reply, but just then, his bare arm brushes against mine again. I slip the golden-furred dog off my lap, wedging him between our bodies before unzipping my sweater and draping it clumsily over Izaya's shoulders.

"You'll catch a cold," I mutter, glancing away. Heat settles on my cheeks and I hide beneath my blond bangs.

"A cold is the least I have to worry about. But what about you?" he questions innocently, peering closer to see my face. He hates it whenever facts are hidden from him. Especially clear evidence, like expressions. He eats them up like a child given candy.

Reluctantly, I turn back. "I don't get sick."

"Seriously?" he exclaims. A certain undertone in his voice irks me and I give him a peculiar look.

"I don't remember the last time I got sick."

"…What about your eyes? It's not an illness?"

I hesitate. Why is he so interested in this? "If it is, it's not anything that's been discovered. Shinra thinks it's a misfire in my genetics… or something."

"I see," he breathes, sounding wistful. I picture him with his eyes closed, lashes resting low on his cheekbones as the wind ruffles his cobalt hair. Fabric rustles as he brings my sweater closer around his thin form. "Then I guess it will be okay."

"Wha—!"

I don't get to finish my sentence as he leans over and captures my lips with his own.

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><p><strong>AN: **Thank you for reading. Rape the **review **button if you want more! Isn't it sexy?


	23. Chapter TwentyThree: Scarred

**Follow me on Twitter: ForsythiaSky  
><strong>**I made it just for you guys, cause I make a lot of mistakes and sometimes, I have to repost things… Updates will be posted regularly on it. Make an account if you don't already have it :D  
><strong>**A/N: **Now here is my official apology for being about a month late on this update. If this was a menstrual cycle, I would be pregnant. e_e " ..I can't believe I just used that reference. ANYWHOO! I planned on updating but one week just turned into two and then three and then…  
>You get the point. D: And I've been pretty busy lately.<br>I re-wrote this chapter about 50 billion times. No lie. And I also had to re-read the story all the way from the beginning to get back into it… orz

**TinkanaiT32: **Thank you for reviewing every single chapter! I'm so touched that you took the time to say such nice things about it all… *sniffs and hugs*  
>Also! A kind reader has informed me that someone had used my exact story and changed it to fit the Naruto fandom. I do NOT appreciate that gesture in any way, though I am a little flattered that they would use my story of all things. Guys, if you see anything like this, please let me know.<br>Okay, I've wasted enough of your time. Onwards!

((I'm really hoping that you guys get this re-update. D:))

**{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! doesn't belong to me. **(◦◕‿◕◦)

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Twenty Three

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><p><strong>Previously: <strong>_"You'll catch a cold," __I mutter, glancing away. Heat settles on my cheeks and I hide beneath my blond bangs. _

"_A cold is the least I have to worry about. But what about you?" __he questions innocently, peering closer to see my face. He hates it whenever facts are hidden from him. Especially clear evidence, like expressions. He eats them up like a child with candy. _

_Reluctantly, I turn back. __"I don't get sick." _

"_Seriously?" __he exclaims. A certain undertone in his voice irks me and I give him a peculiar look. _

"_I don't remember the last time I got sick." _

"…_What about your eyes? It's not an illness?" _

_I hesitate. Why is he so interested in this? __"If it is, it's not anything that's been discovered. Shinra thinks it's a misfire in my genetics… or something." _

"_I see,"__ he breathes, sounding wistful. I picture him with his eyes closed, lashes resting low on his cheekbones as the wind ruffles his cobalt hair. Fabric rustles as he brings my sweater closer around his thin form. __"Then I guess it will be okay." _

"_Wha—!" _

_I don't get to finish my sentence as he leans over and captures my lips with his own._

* * *

><p>Shocked, I do what anyone who's surprised would do: I gasp.<p>

And let me tell you, that was definitely not an open invitation for Izaya to plunge his tongue into my mouth without warning… Trust me, it wasn't. But that's what the pesky flea does and my own warm muscle instinctively tries to shove it back.

There begins our heated, mouth-to-mouth battle, very different than our street fight that took place not a week before.

An event that seems to have taken place eons ago, however.

Panting, I reach out through the murky darkness to find Izaya's cheek, caressing the skin in my palm as I deepen our connection.

I'm beginning to feel a little delirious from the lack of air and I am no longer responsible for my actions.

Hey, he started this so he'll be the one to pay for my actions.

My ringed hand threads through Izaya's cobalt hair, tilting his head to accommodate my height. He makes a small sound and grips the front of my shirt in his fists, yanking me forcibly closer.

All I feel and know is Izaya.

_Izaya, Izaya, Izaya, Izaya… _

His name is all I can think as his tongue twists inside my mouth, exploring every nook and cranny. I don't even realize when I begin panting his name out loud, breathlessly, between passionate kisses. Izaya is everywhere around me and I no longer feel blind.

His entire being is everything and everywhere; his scent, his touches, his whispers. I'm addicted in the worst possible way and this is just my first taste.

Hah… this is the first time I've ever surrendered. As I run my hands along every contour of his body, along the pale arches of his neck, down to his chest, along his slender arms and flat abdomen, I picture him in my mind, wishing I could see those brimming sunset eyes.

This is the first time the monster has surrendered to a human.

Though in retrospect, Izaya isn't your average human. Even without my sight, I can see the dark depths of his being, shrouding him. His human shell doesn't fool anyone; the _other_ inside him always showing through those demonic irises.

Perfectly evil and yet, I would willingly surrender myself to his sovereignty. I wonder if he knows how much control he has over the strongest man in Tokyo.

I wonder if he cares about such a thing at this point in his life.

I can tell that at one point, he would have. And he would have used _me_ to his every whim and advantage, digging me deeper and deeper until I'm crushed beneath his pedestal. But the point is that I would _let _him.

As Izaya gasps out my ridiculous nickname over and over, I nip his lip and trail butterfly kisses down his jaw, swooping lower to his throat. I don't remember how he ended up with his back to the wooden bench with me hovering over him. Nor do I care, as I run my fingers under his shirt, feeling my way down with the tip of my nose.  
>He arches his back, wrapping his arms around my neck and making delicious sounds.<p>

I slide my hands up his back, running up his spine and I pause in surprise at the uneven feeling.

What is it? Is it a scar?

Completely deterred, lust forgotten, I straighten up onto my knees, pulling him up with me. I rub the rough area with my thumb, plotting out its perimeter. Izaya stiffens, drawing away from me in a harsh motion.

My lips curve into a frown, already missing his touch. But that was definitely unusual. It felt large, like it covered most of the expanse of his back.

Izaya mutely straightens out his clothes until he looks presentable. He stands up, not acknowledging me or what had just happened.

But I couldn't get my mind away from that mark…

I furrow my brows, reaching out for him. "What is it?" My voice sounds rough and I attempt to clear it with a few coughs.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says, a little too cheerfully.

I set my teeth. "The _scar_, you idiotic flea. How the hell did you get that?"

"Oh, that little thing?" he chuckles lightly, scuffling his feet on the floor as he leans on the bench. "I was in a dangerous line of work, Shizu-chan." His tone sounds like a condescending mother, as if such a thing was obviously supposed to be in my knowledge.

I send him a scowl. Somehow, though it was a fact to consider, it didn't sit well with me. I could taste his lie lingering in the air; almost as well I could still taste _him_ on my tongue. He feels too far away, now.

"Then why are you running?"

Izaya stops in his silent retreat, his back most likely still facing me. He considers for a moment, having being caught red-handed.

"I'm not running, silly protozoan. It's cold and I want to go back inside." His brisk steps don't match his easy tone. I glance down at my hands, trying to remember the feel of his body pressed against mine. Why did everything have to screw up when it had to do with us?

I let the cold air seep into my bones, so different from our heated embrace. Beast trots up to me, licking my ankle.

I don't remember him leaving, but then again, I wasn't really in my right mind.

I'm probably still not.

"Watch over him for me, will you?" I command, listening as the animal bounds away, his steps loud and confident. I lean back onto the wooden beams, clenching and unclenching my fists. I spin the silver ring idly around and around my little finger.

I squeeze my eyelids shut. The onslaught of disasters that wait for me every day in life makes it hard to keep going.

I slip the ring off, rolling it around in my hand.

Izaya… that irritating flea. I clean my fist around the small ornament, trembling a little in anger. Why can't he trust me?

I hate that fucking…

Who am I kidding? I can never stay angry with him. I'm completely his to play with. No matter what happens to either of us, I'll be his and he'll be mine. The other things can come later.

I bring the cold metal to my lips, lashes dusting gently against my cheekbones.

"Shizuo-chan!" I hear a call that snaps me out of my pathetic trance.

I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you for your patience, for your support and for reading! I apologize for the short chapter. I simply have no time on my hands. Anyways, please **review**! And in the meantime, I'll be working hard on multiple things. I really have my hands full!


	24. Chapter TwentyFour: Crossed

**A/N: This is the story with that blind Shizuo and sick Izaya. In case you forgot. ;) Chapter Twenty Three was a re-submit. So please go back to make sure that you've read it. **

Hollah! Fist bump! Three hundred reviews. Damn. I'm so pumped right now. Thankyou, thankyou reviewers! Shout out to **signe1994 **for reviewing so many of my chaps at once, it makes me so happy to see people take the time to do that. And for those who have been reviewing and following ever since chapter one, I LOVE you guys so much. Keep in mind that you guys are the reason this story hasn't plummeted just yet.

Lithium will be coming to a close soon. SOON. I can freaking see the end, it's so close yet so far….

**EDIT! **Um… chapters will be shorter. But possibly start to get more frequent? *cough* Probably not gonna happen *cough*

I missed you guys. :D I'm sorry once again for the delay... And this chap was a tad rushed.

**{DISCLAIMER} Durarara! does not belong to me. Boop!  
><strong>（╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

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><p><strong>Lithium<strong>

By Forsythia Sky

Chapter Twenty Four

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><p>"Shizuo-chan!" I hear a voice that snaps me out of my trance.<p>

I'd recognize that voice anywhere.

As the footsteps near, I straighten up.

"Karisawa Erika?"

A shrill squeal graces my eardrums and I flinch automatically. The girl had never been very right in the mind. Erika dashes up to me, plopping down onto the bench and clutching at my arm. I turn to her warily.

"It's been so long! Where have you beeeeennnn? Dotachin has been asking about you nonstop," she pouts, drawing out the word 'been' much longer than necessary.

I'm not exactly close to Erika, but she's a close friend of Kyohei Kadota, one of my best friends from high school. And she has a kind of face that's hard to forget, even for me.

"And what are you doing here?" she continues, not even pausing for me to reply.

"Ah… My boss was admitted here and I came to check on him," I say, glancing over to where I imagine her face to be. Her close proximity makes it a little easier, but not by much.

"Dotachin's in the hospital too! You should go see him, he really misses you," Erika says, her voice changing a little. I can't really pinpoint what it is, but something seems a different about her.

But wait… Dota—I mean, Kadota is in the hospital too?

I flinch, running my free hand through my hair. Consequently, it was my ringed one and it snags on a few stray strands.

"What happened? Is he alright?" I demand.

"Huh? Oh, Dotachin is fine…" she hedges, shifting to sit properly on the bench.

I press my lips tightly together before wetting them with a quick flick of my tongue. "If he's fine, what is he doing here?"

Erika remains uncharacteristically quiet for a long time. We sit on the bench side by side, our shoulders nearly brushing and I feel an odd sense of anxiety run through me. A tiny, gentle tickle on my skin agitates me and I quickly try to brush off whatever bug that has crawled upon my wrist.

The quick flicker of a wing surprises me. I've always had a soft spot for butterflies.

I hope that I hadn't damaged it with that harsh gesture.

"He's here visiting someone."  
>I had almost forgotten about Erika's presence. She kicks her heels back and forth, dirt clotting at our feet and the grass brushing against my ankles. I don't reply for a bit, just letting the quiet hum of life fade around me and try my best to shut out my heart.<p>

Sometimes, it hurts less that way.

Letting out a quick breath, I give the girl a light nudge with my elbow. "Who? Is it…" I struggle to remember the name of her constant partner. I'd seen them numerous times. "Walker?"

A bittersweet smile could be heard in her undulating voice. "No. It's not."

Yet again I find myself trying to read what I can't see.

"Then..?" I'm too tired to guess. Especially since it's something I'm not sure that I want to hear.

Her sigh is lost in the wind. "It's Saburo-chan."

Saburo… Kadota's childhood friend. The one who always used to love that van of his with a ridiculous passion.

I slump over, resting my elbows on my thighs and my head ducked nearly between my knees. I know how much Kadota must be hurting right now. He had a hard exterior, but on the inside, I know how much he cares.

He'd always been soft at heart. Softer than me, even.

"What—" My throat convulses.

"It was an accident," Erika says quietly. I can feel her dark gaze scorching me.

"What happened?"

She seems to brace herself carefully before continuing. "It was an accident," she repeats, as if trying to plead a case. "It happened so fast. We were getting off the van; me, Yuma-chi and Dotachin. We turned back and…" Her breath hitches into a quick sob. "I made _fun _of him. I didn't know! If I knew this would happen, I would have been nicer. I would have told him thank you for trusting us and being our friend."

I sit in silence, letting her rant it out. I have a feeling that she'd been holding it in for a long time, wary of others around her.

Trying not to let them hear her pain and guilt. I understood that part.

"But he just scowled and started the van, turning to give me a glare. He drove off. And it was at that moment. Right at that moment," she sucks in another gulp of air that didn't seem to reach her lungs. She's about to lose it. "That _he _crossed the road. And he didn't turn in time to avoid him. He tried, I swear he did. He, who loved that van more than his own life, swerved away and the momentum overturned the car. The pedestrian didn't see it coming. He was busy, talking into his cell phone. I remember it so clearly…"

Erika bites her lip and I know from some new third sense that she is crying, the tears streaming silently down her cheeks. I know what's coming, too. I don't want to hear it but I make no move to stop her from speaking.

It's not my right.

My heart thuds so loudly in my chest, though not loud enough to drown out her voice.

"The look on his face when he was hit and the _screams,_" she chokes out, muffling her lips with her sleeve.

"Dotachin… I've never seen him look like that before. Not when his grandmother died and not when he got shot in the side. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there. I stood there like… like a heartless fool while he ran and tried to save them. Walker called the ambulance. I couldn't _move._"

She's openly crying now. The sobs are loud and heart-wrenching.

But I feel cold.

"Saburo… he was covered in blood and cuts, crushed against the window. But the _man_," she cries. "The man! His legs were pinned under and there was a puddle of blood and it was my entire fault! I don't know what to do! I don't know! I'm so sorry but I don't know what to do!"

He hands fist at my sides. I try to tell myself not to be irrational. That it's _Erika._ That it's just a small defenseless girl at the mercy of a monster.

It is this defenseless girl's fault that Tom is now crippled, be it indirectly or directly.

I can forgive her.

But this monster is unforgiving, even if I myself am.

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><p><strong>AN: **Thanks for reading! Please **review.** The more reviews, the faster I'll update!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IZAYA!


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